Fatma

I’ve been feeling quite positive recently, which I think is due to contemplating whether to stop hanging out with a certain group of people at school. I honestly don’t think they like me and I feel really self-conscious around them. I really don’t want to feel like this so I’m going to try to speak to new people in my year group, and listen to the music I like. I hope I’ll feel better.

I’m like Ally Sheedy’s character in the movie The Breakfast Club, but without the makeover. To put it in a simpler way—I’m just a loser. And, although I don’t really have a problem with this, the people in my class definitely do. They have a way of putting labels on people and criticizing them. I was never taught how to socialize with people and it shows in my weak emotional connection with my “friends” at school. If they’re somehow reading this, I want them to know that I’m sorry for constantly repeating that “I’m really tired,” or that “I woke up late.” The truth is that I really don’t know what to say. I’m clueless because everything I find funny, like the movie Austin Powers, they find childish. I feel really excluded, watching them laugh and reminisce about memories or inside jokes, while I just stand there.

I’m also insulted about my friends make fun of the way working-class people speak where I live, without realizing that I speak like that, but at school I feel like I have to change how I talk, to not appear uncivilised. I’m excited to talk to new people and try new things because I don’t feel like being upset anymore. ♦