Fatma

I had a really insightful conversation with this girl in my math class. At first, I felt and acted extremely awkward because she is quite popular, and I get really nervous around people who intimidate me. But I relaxed after a while; she turned out to be really cool. We started talking about our school and how none of the boys have nice hair and then moved on to a topic that I’m extremely interested in: parties. When it comes to parties, I’m like a spy who is forced to watch from afar. I’ve never been invited to one nor have I ever heard what happens at these occasions. I figured that the host maybe lost my invite, or that I wasn’t in school the day she gave them out, but it turns out that I just was never invited.

As the conversation moved on, she began talking about what happens at these parties, which is apparently lots of drinking and smoking weed, kissing, and sex. It sounded like my worst nightmare, but she seemed so nonchalant about it. She said that people start kissing random people they don’t know and everything is really wild, then reassured me that she didn’t want to have sex until she was ready. I was surprised that people my age are doing things like this. For all I knew, average 14-year-olds stayed at home and watched movies. Apparently that’s just me.

We talked about the different social groups in school and she said that being “popular” isn’t as glamorous as it seems. Now I feel really shallow for underestimating popular students just because of where they stand in my school’s social hierarchy. That said, I still wonder why different social groups are even a thing in school.

In fact, our interaction is a prime example of why staying in certain groups is stupid. Our interesting conversation wouldn’t have happened outside of class due to this strict rule that only pretty people hang out with each other and all the weird people should go away. I’m sick of this being a thing that people at my school still believe in. I have come to a conclusion that labelling social groups in schools ruins our confidence and makes us compare ourselves to others.

It felt cool to enter the popular world without having to leave the math classroom I was in, but it pains my heart to know that if this girl sees me while she’s with her group of friends, she won’t speak to me, only smile to signal that we notice each other’s existence. It’s like we’re two separate worlds that only intersect on special occasions. ♦