Steffany

I’ve been thinking a lot about being productive. Finding a balance between work and play is difficult. Rather, work and work. Except it’s work I like versus work I don’t like. College (no surprise) falls under the work I don’t like. I need to stop viewing that way, though. I have to just milk the experience for what it’s worth and move on. Recently, when I tried to switch my major to design, the woman who runs the program told me she wouldn’t let me switch in until I proved myself. In a weird way, this was a wake up call that I should be doing what I’m supposed to.

I got a job at an app company! It’s great. I pride myself on being able to handle my business (although there’s room for improvement), but I was a little disappointed that people thought they could get over on because I’m young. I don’t see myself as some baby; I’m a contemporary of the elders I work with. Last night, I thought I’d be embraced by a fellow black woman in the office, one of the few that work here. Instead, I got a really rough handshake and a bunch of condescending and rude commentary about how 19 is nothing, and by extension so was I.

I told her not to be threatened by us being in the same place at two completely different ages. I don’t let being the resident young person bother me, although, some of the changes have ruffled a few feathers. Being young is an asset, most times anyway. As in, if this seems like it may not work how I thought, I can jump ship. I’m not tied down to any specific thing, and I like it that way. To others, that’s not such a positive thing. I’m coming into that age when I’m supposed to semi know, or have a clue of what I want to do. And I don’t. Whatever.

I know I like working, I enjoy self-sufficiency, I enjoy freelancing and networking. I know I want to work within the arts. In what capacity, who knows? I’ve been thinking about curating a Kelis tribute show or retrospective on campus. Maybe doing my own podcast. I know the market is oversaturated, but I’m interesting! I have a lot to say. I was going to curate a newsletter to come out before the podcast so that listeners could know what we were addressing before the show dropped. It could be about any and everything. I was playing with the idea of interviewing Robbie Myers, Editor-in-Chief at Elle about her decision to have black women on the covers back-to-back-to-back. These are all just ideas, and I don’t want to be bite off more than I can chew. However, being busy, being engaged with the world in one way or another, gives me a sense of purpose. ♦