Esme’s party crackers

Party crackers are basically ribboned and wrapping-papered cylindrical tubes filled with plastic junk, silly jokes, and paper hats. They are an absolute staple of the holidays in the U.K. You’ll find them laid out on the table at Christmas dinner, where they’re jovially ripped apart by two people sitting next to each other. Those people then share the cracker’s contents, ostensibly in the Spirit o’ Christmas—or something.

Traditional crackers make a literal CRACK-ing sound when you pull on the ends, but this is caused by some process involving terrifying-sounding, vaguely firework-esque stuff, so I’ve made mine without the snap. They’re still a super-cute way to present a relative or friend with some little tokens of your appreciation. And even without the snap, they make an extremely satisfying ripping sound when pulled apart (but beware of flying candies!)

What you’ll need:

• A cardboard toilet-paper roll
• Scissors
• Tape
• Glue
• Wrapping paper—NOT tissue paper, but also: the thinner the better. No thick, shiny stuff that is hard to rip! Get enough paper to roll around the toilet-paper roll. (You could also use newspaper, old comics, OR a piece of printer paper with your own design on it!)
• Two pieces of ribbon (about 15 inches each, to make nice, big bows)
• Little treats to put in the cracker. I went for a dollar-store lipstick and finger puppet, and some leftover but still perfectly delicious Halloween candy.
• Tissue paper (optional, for a paper crown)

How to do it:

Step One

Place your wrapping paper face-down and center the toilet-paper roll so that you have an even amount of paper left over on each side (these will become the handles of the cracker, so they should be reasonably even). Put a line of glue at the top of the paper, along the length of the roll, and then carefully begin to roll the…um, roll..in the paper. Try to keep the paper straight and even. It’s easier to do slowly, to make sure the paper doesn’t start gluing at a diagonal angle.

Step Two

Once the toilet-paper roll is almost completely wrapped up, run another line of roll-length glue along the center of the bottom of the paper, and then seal it up completely.

Step Three

Now, holding the roll in place in its middle, scrunch-twist one end of the over-hanging wrapping paper into a bunch—tightly enough so that you can tie a piece of ribbon around it to seal it up.

Step Four

Hurrah! You’re now ready to fill ‘er up with the presents, so you’re basically almost done. In addition to my little treats, I threw in some star-shaped sequins, which I’m sure my recipient will be thrilled to be covered in when they open this gift! I couldn’t help it, they look so cute and brought an extra-magic sparkle. I also added a tissue-paper crown—highly recommended, especially if you’re making these for several people at an actual holiday dinner. It’s very conducive to holiday cheer:

A brief digression: To make the paper crown, all you need is one sheet of standard tissue paper. Cut along the longest side, so that you end up with a loooong strip of tissue (you can use your own head as a specific guide for length—mine’s about 26 inches around, so I made my strip 30 inches). Then cut that strip to be about four inches wide. Make a zig-zag pattern along one entire long-edge of the strip, which, after you cut it, will be the spikes of your crown:

To finish, bring the short ends together and seal them with a little tape on both the inner and outer seams:

Oh, look! A crown!

Step Seven

Back to business: Put your crown, sequins, jokes, assorted gifts, good vibes, and best wishes into the still-open end of the cracker, and then twist the paper up just like on the other side. Tie it with the other piece of ribbon, and you got it, dude!

Now you’re ready to hand a lucky someone a little bundle of holiday cheer! ♦