I look for you in every place I go.

It was six months that melted into a year that continued for three more. You messaged me the other day and I wanted to cry because we ended and we didn’t start.

I can’t ever laugh like I did in those moments with you. There have been so many others but it always comes back to our stories playing in an endless loop.

I know I’m the one who’s distant and scared. You’ve always told me your truth. You’ve always listened. You’ve always reached out.

I downplay my feelings and lie and I can’t stop. I don’t understand it, but it’s always my fault.

I feel desperate to go back to the times when you’d drive me home as an excuse to keep talking, and tell you what it meant to me. You pulled no shit like leaning in for a kiss or telling me your expectations. It was real, and the respect you gave me was something I’d never known before.

We’ve lost those people and that time, but maybe it could happen again if we find each other in the right light, on the right day, in the right place.

I imagine us bumping into each other, and I’ll be weird and you’ll be awkward. But for now, I’ll just keep looking.

—By Ariana K., 19, British Columbia, Canada