Kiana

Scene one: I bathe in the comfortable chill of a crisp Davao night. I am out late, hanging in a coffee shop alone finishing an essay I was commissioned to write. Afterwards, I walk around the area, listening to Fleetwood Mac’s “Gold Dust Woman” while contemplating if I should take a photo or Snapchat clip of this moment, because I wanna keep it forever.

There’s something about fleeting moments, and our inkling to hold on to them.

Scene two: My alarm goes off. I blink the sleep and weariness from my eyes and reach out to the side of my bed to turn off the alarm. It’s 4:08 AM, time to go to work. I break all the breakable points in my body as I scream-yawn and stretch. I get up, wash my face, and brush my teeth. While doing so, I pray to my dreams and my ambiguous “bucket list” written during the peak of my youth, in the year of our Lord 2012.

I want to survive.

I feel this every time I wake up from a deep, comfortable slumber. I rise and look around, disoriented, then slowly return to where I left off in life.

I still don’t know what I’m doing, and I have no inkling where I’m going, but a strong sense of wanting to survive and thrive fills me. Even though things appear vague at present, I will push through.

I trust in the process through blind anxious fits. Whatever this may imply, one thing is sure: I am on my way and I will push through. ♦