Simone

This summer, I was a camp counselor. I decided to become a camp counselor a week before camp started, so naturally I was very confused, and sometimes felt out of place. I was nervous kids would judge my Nae Nae the way other teenagers do. As it turns out, middle schoolers graders are amused by me. Maybe it’s only because of my vast Diary of a Wimpy Kid knowledge, or exciting high school stories, but it’s admiration nonetheless. Camp counselling is more similar to Wet Hot American Summer than paying parents would like, but it’s best that way.

I got my braces off. I expected this moment to change me forever. To look in a mirror, and see a completely new, glo’d up face, and know that my life would never be the same. A braceless Simone would still be clumsy and fun, but in a sexy way. She would look 21, and have her way with 21-year-old men. But Simone is still not that, in fact, I’m the opposite of that. Nothing has really changed, my teeth are just straight. Post-removal, I spent a week forgetting I didn’t have braces anymore and licking my teeth. Then, I didn’t really care or remember what I had gone through for 18 months. Self-confidence requires more than pliers, I guess.

Five weeks later, I lost my retainer.

I went to my grandma’s house for the longest I’ve ever been, with my dad and brother. And I realized, not only do I really love my dad, but also my brother. He was my best friend this summer.

I went to the Mac DeMarco show I’d been anticipating for months. I was so close to the stage, and everyone wanted my spot. Boys pushed their way to the front. They stopped to stand right behind my friends, and I thought to myself, This is the closest I’ve ever been to a boy. Wow. Everyone was sweaty, some were shirtless, and a lot of unintentional grinding ensued. But then, the boys pushed in front of us, and I realized the only good man left in this word is McBriare Samuel Lanyon DeMarco, so I jumped on stage, gave him the plastic Lisa Simpson head I’d brought for him, and kissed him on the cheek. I dove off stage and ran to get water. I was shaking, and could barely stand because residual marijuana smoke and touching your idol have mystifying powers, especially when combined.

I gained seven pounds, and none of my summer clothes fit anymore. That made me kind of sad, so I started eating more healthily, and lost eight. As I’m learning, losing weight doesn’t really change how you feel about yourself. Well, besides how well your clothing fits. (I did miss my jorts for a brief time.)

I didn’t sneak out every night. I didn’t make any new friends. I didn’t travel anywhere exciting, I didn’t even get on a plane. I didn’t have a summer fling. I didn’t even finish a show on Netflix. But, I had a good summer. A relaxing, and calm, and rejuvenating summer. Although I’m not looking forward to my inevitable return to chaotic high school bullshit, I’m not dreading it. I’m ready. I’m an improved, albeit currently retainer-less, Simone.

As of last night, summer is over. I’ll miss it. ♦