Steffany

It’s been a tough week.

I’m not adjusting to college as quickly as I’d imagined. I had this very specific idea about what college would be for me. A world where I could access: Infinite resources that would allow me new ways to communicate my ideas; people to collaborate with who have similar interests; a newfound sense of self. Now, to be fair, we’re only in week three, but I feel no closer to the fulfillment I’ve been actively seeking since high school. I am unsure if this just is my inner self never being satisfied, or if I should actually listen closely to this unhappiness.

I brought up the idea of taking a break from college, or maybe attending a less isolated school, with my mom, who just won’t have it. I feel like I’m flying solo on this one. I’m going to have to, “put on my big girl panties” and learn to roll with the punches a bit. Everything isn’t going to go my way, and apparently, I have to ditch my naïveté and realize that the real world isn’t going to afford me the opportunities I want if I’m not a college graduate. I am once again, stuck in a position and unclear of what the outcome should be.

I owe it to my parents to get a degree, and I’m going to do that. I just feel as if I am never in a position where I am satisfied with myself. Explaining this feeling any further will only cause me to down crying.

On a positive note, I now have my own college radio show. ♦