I recently applied early-decision to a competitive college. Since I sent in my application, I keep hearing about everyone else in my grade who applied to that school, and it’s giving me tons of anxiety, especially since a lot of them are friends of mine. By now word has gotten out about who applied where, so if I am rejected, I’ll not only have to congratulate people who got what I wanted, but everyone will know. I really want to stop freaking out about this—help! —Isabel, 17, Connecticut

I’m not going to spend this answer telling you how hard getting into college is OR that, yes, if you’re rejected, you can transfer in later, because I suspect you know these things. Instead I’m going to ask you to not freak out about your classmates knowing about what your decision was.

OK, let’s just assume, for a second, that you get rejected. First: Please erase any worries from your brain that you have about people knowing you were rejected. Are you worried that people will think you didn’t try hard enough? Or didn’t have good grades? Or weren’t the prototype the school wanted for their class? Everyone is going to get rejected from some schools. In fact, many people get rejected from their dream schools, which is why they’re called “dream schools,” unfortunately. So if you get rejected, what does it say about you? Pretty much nothing: It says that this is a school that rejects a lot of people, for hundreds of different reasons, and it’s not a reflection on you as a person.

It seems like you care a lot about what your peers will think or say and the school environment you’ll have to deal with post- (imaginary!) rejection time. And that makes sense! When you’re a senior in high school during this time of year, there’s SO MUCH EMPHASIS on where you’re going to school or if you’re going at all, and, omg, what does that say about your future!!! AGAIN: It really doesn’t say much. Kids will get to college. Some won’t. Some will go and decide to transfer. Some will definitely drop out. You might not ever speak to any of these people again after high school. The days after the decisions are made public and people are congratulating each other, there will be a lot of mourning too, and both the congratulating AND the mourning will end quickly. Then everyone is off to the same place: the future. And in a year—literally—when you’re at college, you will LOL about how much you cared about the college application circus, because you’ll be living a whole new life.

Yes, you should probably congratulate the people who did get in, but you’re also allowed your own personal venting time. But I don’t think you should freak out. It is OK if people know if you’re rejected because I can assure you with all my heart that nobody will care or think less of you. I got rejected from my dream school early decision and posted about it on Facebook. It was fine! A lot of my friends got rejected from their dream schools too. In short: Don’t freak out. It’s OK if you get rejected and people know about it, because rejection is the norm—and because your future is not your college decision. :) —Hazel

Ever since I was little, I’ve been plagued by really disturbing thoughts. I get hung up on imaginary images of my own body being hurt—specifically, my eyes, teeth, and knees. Like, I would envision one of my eyes being cut, or my teeth being broken, or my kneecaps falling off, and these images would stay in my mind for up to an hour. Lately, it’s been getting a lot worse. I can’t even read or watch anything about injuries or pain. If I see someone getting punched on TV, I feel it too. Pictures of X-rays make my bones hurt, and even typing this out right now is making me ache all over. I’ve been called a hypochondriac thousands of times, but I truly feel these things. They plague me and keep me up at night, and I want them to stop. People I’ve told about this seem to think that I’m fine, but I’m not sure. Do I need help? Is this common? Is there any way to make it stop? —M., 16

I’m not a doctor, so please don’t take this as a diagnosis or anything, but what you have sounds a lot like something I’ve dealt with for most of my life. They’re called “intrusive thoughts” and are nasty, awful notions that pop into your brain against your will and cause you a great deal of anxiety. Mine are associated with my obsessive-compulsive disorder (that’s not to say you have OCD—again, only a doctor can make that call, not some well-intentioned rando on the internet) but intrusive thoughts can be connected with all sorts of anxiety issues. It sounds like the things you’re thinking are causing you psychosomatic (or psychogenic) pain: because the thoughts are so intense, you truly do feel as though these injuries are happening. You are NOT crazy because this is happening; it’s very common for those of us with anxiety.

The brain is a magical, weird computer, and sometimes it just needs a little help to run properly. The thoughts—and associated pains—seem to be interfering with your everyday life, and that’s scary and isolating. But you shouldn’t—and don’t—have to face this alone. Tell a trusted adult about what you’re going through, and if they’re reluctant to find you treatment, tell your school nurse or counselor. It can be hard to explain to people who don’t quite get it, but there are lovely, kind professionals out there who know exactly what you’re talking about AND how to help you. I have drastically reduced my intrusive thoughts with the help of medication (although this isn’t necessary for everyone) and a psychological treatment called dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). DBT actually helps you learn how to control the thoughts and rewire your brain so that they become less frequent and positive messages are sent in their places. Whatever works for you, I wish you so much luck and love and want you to know you are not alone. I hope you can reach out and get help, because it is there, ready and waiting to give you some relief. —Pixie ♦