Dear Diary

August 13, 2014

High hopes and racing hearts.

Britney

I am afraid of poor delivery, of my words, of myself. I dread another year as a background character, just another face passed by in the halls. I want a blunt and interesting presence.

So many people around me have preconceived notions, expectations, and judgments about who I am. It’s easy to tell yourself to ignore everyone else’s opinions, but the execution is the difficult part.

I want to assert a new identity. I want to stop being afraid. I seem to want a lot, but I never really make anything happen. ♦

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5 Comments

  • netraasmiles August 13th, 2014 8:50 PM

    Ananda, I totally feel you. People think that they can “fix” you by throwing you into social situations at you’re just not able to take. Like, if someone was allergic to peanuts, would others just force them to eat a bunch of peanut butter to “get over it”?!?!

  • priyalatifah August 14th, 2014 10:01 AM

    Britney, I can totally relate. The delivery of my words never comes out the way I plan it to in my head, and I feel like people see me as somewhat timid and maybe kind of weak when I want them to see me as confident and to also have a blunt, interesting presence

  • elektraheart August 15th, 2014 8:19 PM

    Past *month, not mont. Just a little error.

  • insanejane August 24th, 2014 8:26 AM

    omg, it seems that britney is writing exactly what my brain is always saying to myself… so strange the last sentence is exactly me…