I have this odd, uneasy feeling that I don’t know how to get rid of. It is a cross between wanting to enjoy this summer and wanting to be back in school. Basically, I do not know what to do with my time.
I want to find new things and rediscover things that excited me in the past. I want to listen to new music and meet new people, since almost everyone I know left New York for the summer. I don’t mind being stuck here, though. I need this time alone to selfishly feed my interests and remember what I feel like when I feel like myself, when I’m not running away from my own thoughts.
I am cringing as I type this because I know how clichéd it sounds, but that truth is something else I’m learning not to run from. Last week I mentioned this quote from Sylvia Plath: “Go out and do something. It isn’t your room that’s a prison, it’s yourself.” I think the key to enjoying this summer will be forcing myself to turn my prison into a sanctuary, something that helps me grow instead of keeping me confined. ♦