The end of school finally seems like a real thing, thanks to a barrage of tests and acne and mosquito bites and a lot of introspection that makes me want to share all the time but also keep a lot to myself out of fear of losing myself to the world. I feel like I’m under a lot of pressure, but not because of any one specific thing—it’s not even mostly studying/test stress, it’s bigger than that, and more amorphous: a looming anxiety that I deal with by trying not to think about it. It feels like this anxiety has already worn out my summer before it’s begun.
There is so much I want to say, but I don’t know how to say it. I keep ending my diary entries on this note, but it is difficult not to. ♦