You Asked It

Ask a Grown Woman: Mary Lambert

“Live unapologetically, and screw shame, because no one needs it.”

You definitely know Mary Lambert’s voice, whether it’s from her gorgeous, romantic 2013 single, “She Keeps Me Warm,” and/or her collaboration with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis on the Grammy-nominated song “Same Love,” which she co-wrote. Mary is also an LGBTQ advocate, a poet (she independently released the collection 500 Tips for Fat Girls last year), an all-around good person, and now, a Rookie advice-giver! Take in her words of wisdom below, then follow her on Twitter and listen to her recent EP, Welcome to the Age of My Body.

Adults aren’t always terrible! Sometimes they can help you with your most confusing life dilemmas! If you have one o’ these, send it to with “Ask a Grown” in the subject line, and include your first name/nickname/initials), your city, and your age.


  • eliska.el March 11th, 2014 4:17 PM


  • ASpoonfulOfSugar March 11th, 2014 4:49 PM

    Aaaahhh, Rookie, you are literally the best!! Love Mary Lambert, so happy to see her do an Ask a Grown Woman <3333 This was the little bump of confidence and love that my day needed:)

  • Barhbie March 11th, 2014 5:27 PM

    She is so sweet! So happy to see her to an Ask a Grown Woman segment and so happy to hear the beautiful advice she gave, it really helped :)

  • Hales March 11th, 2014 6:32 PM

    Thank you so much Mary and Rookie, this was exactly what I needed right now, both as a gay person and one with body image issues.

  • loopdeshor March 11th, 2014 6:51 PM

    I’m so happy that she did this, and thank you rookie too :)

  • skywithdiamonds March 11th, 2014 7:40 PM

    Mary is my actual fave and too sweet to be real. She also looks hella cute.

  • Merliss March 11th, 2014 10:19 PM

    Mary Lambert is such a kindred spirit.

  • honorarygilmoregal March 11th, 2014 10:35 PM

    She is so sweet and lovely.

  • ScarlettRed March 12th, 2014 12:18 AM

    Re: the “slut” shaming question.

    I think it’s common for high school aged kids to spit back phrases and ideas that they have been fed by the media and their parents, in some ways because they still haven’t gotten out into the real world, left home and become adults (in charge of their own lives).

    Sooner or later it should dawn on those girls that sex is a normal part of adult life, and a natural part of what it means to express a human identity, and a necessity to reproduce (or they might not ever want to have sex which is valid too)…

    But it seems dumb to think of sex as something shameful for a certain part of your life, then to suddenly accept it as normal (which it is) once you get to a certain age, or get married… It’s still sex and you are still you, so whatever time you feel ready to be a person who is having sex with other people is your business.

    And “self respect” shouldn’t necessarily be used to mean “abstain from sex altogether” but rather be about not being pressured from either direction to “get sex over with” or “stay a virgin”… It kinda also demeans guys to assume they are all “after it” like they are predators or something and you are like this helpless lamb who needs to keep them in line… (Thanks Twilight)

    So I kind of feel sad for those girls’ perception of female (presumably not male) sexuality as shameful, or “wrong” more than anything else. It’s limiting their own autonomy, and they probably don’t even know it. Introduce them to Rookie & Beyonce. Hopefully like Mary said, time and life experience will help them see they were misguided.

  • piisaa March 12th, 2014 12:46 AM

    Eeeek it’s Mary Lambert! This was lovely <3

  • Flossy Mae March 12th, 2014 1:35 PM

    Mary is so beautiful! Ahhhh….and she’s one of those people that has a really comforting voice too xxxx

  • lexilikes March 12th, 2014 2:47 PM

    The last point she made was really great. I love this series!

  • nellie79 March 12th, 2014 6:17 PM

    I actually heard of Mary Lambert back in summer of 2012 though scrolling a tumblr tag, when I found her song “Body Love” from her Letters Don’t Talk EP. I started listening to her work and became obsessed.

    I was really excited when I heard she was starting to get more time in the spotlight and it’s great that she is participating in Ask a Grown Woman! She gives great advice :)

  • Abby March 12th, 2014 8:32 PM

    I need to embroider that quote on a pillow

  • k8ydids March 12th, 2014 10:36 PM

    Every single one of these was exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you.

  • March 15th, 2014 12:29 PM

    This is very sweet. Also the fireplace really sets the grownup mood!

  • eilis March 15th, 2014 7:13 PM

    No one should be ashamed of their sexuality, so I’m so glad musicians of every sexual orientation are coming together to promote equality, it’s so beautiful! MaryLambert is a lovely person inside and out. As the song goes, there is no difference!