You Asked It

Oh! You Pretty Things

Meet Jane Marie, our new beauty columnist!

Editor’s note: BUM BA DA BUM BUM BAAA! That was us pretending to play a bugle, because we have a special announcement: We’re very proud to introduce our brand-new beauty expert, Jane Marie! Every month, she’ll take to O!YPT, aka this here advice column, to answer questions about makeup, hair, and other assorted matters relating to your gorgeous visages, and we’re so happy that she’s here. Damn Girl Ya Look Good will continue to take all style questions, but beauty stuff goes here now! So, without further ado, hereeeeee’s Jane!


Last April, I shaved my head and donated my hair to be made into wigs for cancer patients. I have no regrets, and a lot of people have said that short hair suits me, but it’s at an awkward length right now. Do you know any cute styles or cuts that could help me feel more confident? —Emily

That is so nice of you! Don’t you wish you could see the wig that your hair became?! They should have a social media site where you can follow your hair wherever it goes. I feel like I’ve spent a quarter of my life growing out a shaved head, because I have, so you’ve come to the right person for this!

What got to me about growing my hair out was the shagginess and unkempt feeling, not that anything looked bad, and I’m sure you also look just fine. My number one solution for any of these concerns, though, is getting the sides of your head “faded,” which means shaving them down short—it’s pretty much a tighter pixie cut. You end up with more hair on top, so as it grows out it’ll feel like length is happening quicker than if everything was growing out at the same time and you were generally shaggy all over. Go to a barber—it’ll be less than 20 bucks.

Me in 1994 (I was 16). This one took a while to grow out.

Me in 1994 (I was 16). This one took a while to grow out.

If this doesn’t sound like the right style for you, there are plenty of other amazing-looking short haircuts out there. If you, like me, enjoy scrolling for hours through pictures of beautiful ladies with covetable hairdos, go here or here and see if you can find one that you particularly admire. Print it out or save it on your phone and show it to your stylist. What if THIS is your next hairdo OMG?!

If you’d rather keep growing out the cut you have: Have you tried headbands? Maybe not the super-hard plastic ones that give you a headache, but soft elastic or fabric headbands? You can wear them over your hair, creating a faux-bang effect in front. “In front of this headband is the front part of my very short hairdo—some might call it the ‘bangs area’—and here is the back, or the ‘long part,’ duh.” Like the model in this photo.

Photo by Jennifer Gan, via Indonesian Models.

Photo of Kimmy Jayanti by Jennifer Gan, via Indonesian Models.

OR you can use a headband to push your annoying non-bangs away from your forehead. Up to you!

Another trick is drawing attention elsewhere with HUGE EARRINGS. Or necklaces. Or crazy makeups. Just have fun decorating some other part of your head while you power through this in-between-iness. You could come out the other side of this with a siiiiick NeNe Leakes–level jewelry collection!

I desperately want thick dark eyebrows like Ali Michael’s. I started growing them out, but then I realized that those eyebrows don’t look good on everyone. How can I figure out if they’ll suit me?

My general rule of thumb is that if you were born with it, it suits you. HA! Oh, I’m so sorry I just destroyed the whole beauty industry with ONE SENTENCE. Our work is done, folks! No, but I’m being serious. That’s not to say there is anything wrong with altering what you were born with and displaying a new you, version 2.0 (I’m personally on Jane, version 24.2 at this point). But if you’re asking what looks most natural on your face, it’s your face. Don’t believe the hype that something that grows off the front of your head does not look “right” on you!

Telling people to grow their eyebrows is a favorite side-project of mine. Sometimes it works out wonderfully! Here’s the great thing about hair: It (usually) grows back, AND it can be removed. This change is so low-impact it is almost of no concern. So go ahead and grow them, see if you like it, and go from there. It might take a few months, which is fine because it will also take you a few months to read Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry, a crazy-riveting novel about cowboys that almost every woman I know agrees is the very best book ever written. Do that, and you can look back at your bushy-eyebrow period with fondness, regardless of whether your caterpillar-brows become butterflies or die in their cocoons. (I swear to god that analogy works in my head.)

For added inspiration, look at this photo of Brooke Shields.

brooke

See how the eyebrow on the right is encroaching dangerously upon her unibrow territory but the other one isn’t? She’s just letting it go and it looks amazing. Remember that when you feel the magnetic pull of your tweezers.

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18 Comments

  • wallflower152 February 25th, 2014 11:57 PM

    Welcome Jane. : )

  • potatobear February 26th, 2014 12:09 AM

    JANE!!! I was a huge fan of your columns on the hairpin (I’ve seen your videos like a million times, and they are the only reason I know how to put my face on properly) and it’s so exciting to see you doing columns again! I will definitely be coming back here to see what you write in the future!

    • potatobear February 26th, 2014 12:13 AM

      Also I just saw that last line about milkmaid braids and if you did braiding tutorials in the future I would probably just die. Of joy. Also I will definitely be writing in as I have a burning questions about undereye concealer and how to put it on without looking like a reverse raccoon.

  • potatobear February 26th, 2014 12:16 AM

    Also a tip for the growing out hair girl, as someone who spent way to long growing out a short haircut, make sure the back is always shorter than the front, even if only by a little bit (especially during the awkward stages). It keeps it from turning into a mullet.

    Another tip is to be very careful about caring for your hair so you don’t have any reason to cut it again. I once had a fiasco with some Redken Sulfate Free shampoo that turned my hair into a horrifying straw mess and I had to cut off 7 inches and start all over.

  • oliviare February 26th, 2014 12:35 AM

    Love this new section Jane, can’t wait for more!! :)

  • CharmingKitty February 26th, 2014 2:51 AM

    My answer in response to the twelve year old girl whose mum is unwilling for her to wear make-up from mainstream brands: try Bare Minerals, a company of which promises to only use the very best ingredients on the market.
    Since I first started to experiment with make-up at a similar age, the Original Foundation by BM never reacted with my skin which, at the time, was a godsend because I was struggling to keep breakouts under control!

    The lip glosses and eyeliners from their range are perfect, too, but if you are more interested in a wider selection of colours, I would recommend ybf (its initials stand for ‘your best friend’) who have been selling high quality products for years. A year ago, I purchased a collection of eye shadows and I haven’t been able to stop using it!

    And by the way, I made the choice to stick to all-natural brands – honestly, you pay for what you get!

  • uchu February 26th, 2014 8:37 AM

    This is great! LOVE the colored eyeliner – I will have to try that orange one. Also, you might want to check the link below the eyeliner photos to Brigitte Sire’s site, because I think it’s misspelled.

    Another good natural but sort-of-not-as-pricey makeup brand is Everyday Minerals. Their blushes are awesome and they have a million different foundation colors.
    http://www.everydayminerals.com/store/

    • Anaheed February 26th, 2014 8:46 AM

      Thanks! Fixed the link.

  • Chloe22 February 26th, 2014 10:03 AM

    Most of the worries about makeup are reasonable, but I’ve heard most of the time that supposed risks, like cancer, would only happen if someone LITERALLY ATE 3 tubes of lipstick everyday. Thats what my mom who used to work for dieticians said anyway.

  • lisida February 26th, 2014 11:54 AM

    jane! i was so missing you on the hairpin, and i’m so, so happy to see you’ll be posting at rookie!!

  • LydiaBennett February 26th, 2014 12:16 PM

    Hopped on over from the HP to say, I am SO EXCITED JANE IS BACK!!!!!!!!! YAY! Important Alert indeed! This is a good day :)

    To the 12 y/o letter writer: Does your mom wear any makeup? What brands does she use? Maybe you guys could go to Sephora and get makeovers together if she is not opposed to having someone put makeup on her. That is literally my favorite thing to do – you can call ahead and make an appointment, and they will show you what makeups are great for your coloring and teach you how to apply them. I’d say this is a great option since you can ask them about Tarte and Josie Maran at the same time.

  • JaneMarie February 26th, 2014 1:23 PM

    Thanks, everyone :) I am deeeelighted to be here and cannot wait for more q’s!

  • Flossy Mae February 26th, 2014 2:10 PM

    To the blue eyes person:

    Try putting gold eyeliner on the insidey bits of your eyes (the inner corners). It makes them look sparkly and alive and colour-popping! Actually, this works for all eye colours :)

    x

  • Brenna February 26th, 2014 3:43 PM

    1. So excited that we get to ask Jane questions about makeup again! I have learned everything I know from How to Be a Girl videos.

    2. The best part about short hair is all the fun crazy makeup you can do! Also, headbands with feathers on them and insane earrings. For some reason short-hairs can get away with it. I made a comic about it, kind of: http://saybrennana.com/?comic=pros-and-cons

    3. Blue eyed person: shiny copper eye shadow on your lower water-line (and also on your upper lid in the crease) + whatever other color eyeliner (purple or navy or dark brown)

  • Savidi February 26th, 2014 7:05 PM

    so excited for this!!

  • mangointhesky February 28th, 2014 7:28 AM

    The eyebrows one is really good. I have eyebrows a lot like cara delevigne’s but they don’t really work on me. I love the other ideas!

    http://theconfettireport.blogspot.com

  • Crumpets March 2nd, 2014 12:22 AM

    I LOVE THIS COLUMN. I LOVE THIS SONG.

  • KJ March 14th, 2014 9:13 AM

    Hey K in Cali, maybe you can check this out with your mom https://goodebox.com/ these boxes are a really good way to find new brands and most come with coupons to buy the full size product!