Dear Diary

February 5, 2014

Boys and other discontents.


I cannot tell who or what is at the root of my problem—the problem that seems to repeat itself like a train stuck on an endless loop. The majority of things in my life end up boring me, and that is terrifying. What will happen to me when one day I don’t have school to keep me grounded, to provide almost everything and everyone in my life that matters? I can’t tell if there is something wrong with me. It always feels like there is. I feel like I can almost never find satisfaction from just one area of life yet I do not have the drive to do everything that I need and want to.

I am either always complaining or suppressing, overworking myself or not doing what I need to. Everything is too confusing or too meta or too bland for me to invest myself. I don’t want this perpetual disconnect from the world. ♦


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  • UnconventionalPsyche February 5th, 2014 7:13 PM

    Britney’s entry speaks to me on a spiritual level ~.~
    So nice to empathize

  • Big Red Soda February 5th, 2014 7:13 PM

    Frankly, Naomi… That was the most poetic diary entry I ever read, you got soul!

    • Big Red Soda February 5th, 2014 7:16 PM

      Also Ruby, love this weeks diary. Y’all are such wonderful storytellers.

  • taratwinkle February 5th, 2014 8:35 PM

    Ruby, I loved that! So simple, yet so much depth.

  • Chorvelynne February 5th, 2014 9:23 PM

    This is so right on time! ughh! Rookie! You make me!

  • die_mad February 5th, 2014 10:07 PM

    there was a mini epic love story in ruby’s entry

  • Claudia February 5th, 2014 11:06 PM

    I totally get the everything ending up boring me thing, Brittany

  • la fee clochette February 5th, 2014 11:26 PM

    Love Nick Cave. And great post, Ruby.

  • skyewriter February 6th, 2014 2:50 AM

    Naomi, the last paragraph of your entry absolutely spoke to me and everything just clicked… it was what I needed to hear. Beautifully written.

  • julalondon February 6th, 2014 5:15 AM

    I am completely in love with all you guys!!

  • Dino February 6th, 2014 6:56 AM

    Ruby, your entry hit something inside of me – my boyfriend just recently broke up with me because he doesn’t want a long-distance relationship…. I feel like that man in the coffee shop: “I’m in love with [him]. [He's] such a beautiful person.”

  • mangointhesky February 6th, 2014 7:20 AM

    RUBY!!!!! Yours was so perfect.

  • Ninissa February 6th, 2014 10:52 AM

    just perfect ! j adore , c’est poétique et abstrait !

  • spitcurl February 6th, 2014 1:12 PM

    Ruby- super into this entry, so glad to be reading from you again.

  • Tiana February 6th, 2014 7:20 PM

    Wow I absolutely loved ruby and Brittneys entry, absolutely amazing!
    Tiana x

  • aaaannnnaaaaaaa February 7th, 2014 5:30 AM

    lovely entry as ever, ruby x

  • Pelin February 8th, 2014 1:21 PM

    ruby ruBY RUBY you give me life and I’m so grateful for your writing, it literally feels like god

  • Wallis Kate February 14th, 2014 7:01 PM

    Ruby you are such an incredible writer I’m amazed at how good you are.