Dear Diary

February 19, 2014

Some lies are truer than the truth.

Britney

My life is messy, sacred. It is impossible to represent it in a linear timeline. It is told through moments with the people closest to me, epiphanies, and rare times when I can spend hours filling up a notebook with bits and pieces that mean something, words layered upon pictures layered upon words that are not nonsense but my own true sort of timeline.

Nothing seems to happen at a specific point in time. The past always seems married to the present, but in an amazing way, not the kind of tear-jerking nostalgia that used to haunt me. My best friends and me standing under a bridge in the bitterest part of winter, not bothered by the cold because being together feels like being home—that reminds me of the 1990s. High school’s smoky bathrooms and the gym where we take refuge in a corner under a blanket of laughter and finding the universe in just a few hours of being with the people I love—those moments are timeless. It all feels messy and it all feels sacred. It makes me feel like everything I have ever asked for has come true. ♦

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6 Comments

  • rhymeswithorange February 19th, 2014 10:55 PM

    Lovely, all!!

  • kellyissofab February 19th, 2014 11:36 PM

    Ruby’s are always the best. I often only come to Rookie on Wednesdays just to read her diary entry. Her prose is beautiful and she always has such witty and insightful things to say.

    Keep on keeping on Ruby. I’m always sending you good vibes.

    -Kelly

  • Tiger February 19th, 2014 11:59 PM

    these girls are fucking amazing.

  • Rebdomine February 20th, 2014 4:46 AM

    Ruby, your diaries are one of the best things about Rookie. I’m rooting you on <3

  • Bex_cygnet February 20th, 2014 7:07 AM

    Naomi- awesome. Blown away by the ease with which you draw your readers through a rabbit warren of nuanced thoughts and ideas with clarity. Your entries are so entertaining!

  • sonnentanz February 20th, 2014 9:06 AM

    Naomi, what you said about projecting our fantasies onto others really made me think. I often do this with new people I just met, and there is definitely something wonderful about it. However, when I start getting to know them better and see what they really are like, I tend to get disappointed, because they don’t live up to the fabulous fantasy in my head. This doesn’t only hurt me, but them as well. It’s so hard to find a healthy balance.