You Asked It

Ask a Grown Man: Stephen Malkmus

If you have a crush, the Jicks and Pavement frontman wants you to GO FOR IT.

Stephen Malkmus has a long history of singing and playing guitar in some of our favorite-ever musical projects, like his current one, Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks, and his old group, a little band called Pavement. Obviously, we were extremely jazzed when he offered to answer some of your questions about being crushed out on your bandmate, making casual relationships more serious, and telling a dude you respect as a friend that you’re just not interested. And, guys? We didn’t think it was possible for us to like him more, but GUESS WHAT, we totally do now. For more Malkmus-based goodness, you can check out the latest Jicks album Wig Out at Jagbags, which came out earlier this year, and/or keep up with the band on Twitter and Facebook.

Got a problem you’d like our next adult-style advice-giver’s help with solving? Why not email it to with “Ask a Grown” in the subject line? If you do, please include your first name (or your nickname or initials), your city, and your age.


  • Laia February 18th, 2014 3:21 PM


  • Maryse89 February 18th, 2014 3:44 PM

    fuh-reak-ing OUT!!!!

  • Suzy X. February 18th, 2014 4:24 PM

    15-year-old me is flipping out right now.

  • uncornrhapsody February 18th, 2014 4:41 PM

    1. Tell him you like him. Worst case scenario: he doesn’t feel the same way about you but you’ll find it great that you’ll still be able to be around him for band practice. It could hurt the band if you guys get together and break up but maybe the band is not too important to you and you can risk that one of you two might later not be in it.

    2. Say the word ‘friend’ a lot, don’t let him do you any special favors that might make him feel you owe him something, don’t flirt with him because you could confuse him and tell him about other people you like. Hint it with delicacy and he won’t be offended and it won’t be awkward for the two of you.

    3. If he’s having sex with you he probably does like you, at least physically or sexually. To take it to a more sentimental side invite him to do stuff that doesn’t revolve around sex- a play, the beach, a sports game, bowling, etc… Depending on how interested he is on doing things out of the sack, you’ll figure out his feelings. And the ‘I don’t know yet’ seems like a very good sign, he could have simply said ‘No’.

  • ScooterStar February 18th, 2014 6:48 PM

    OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. Okay, I know he won’t see this cheesy pickup line but I have to do it…
    Hey, Malkmus, I know you’re busy Dancing With Elders, but it would be SO COOL if you danced with me instead.

  • Tiger February 18th, 2014 8:10 PM

    aww he’s such a sweetie

  • izzy1198 February 18th, 2014 8:29 PM

    This is fucking awesome! Rookie never stops amazing me!

  • Maradoll Mynx February 18th, 2014 9:20 PM

    Oh. My. Gosh. :D :D :D

    Other thoughts: I love how laid back he is…(always his stock and trade!) :D But the advice? The advice was solid! No made up words or anything! It’s all good when you ask someone for advice and they show you how simple the situation really is. Furthermore, I love his classic 90′s fashion style! With him in vintage/retro, we can have our Jicks and eat our Pavement too. HE WILL KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY THIS!!

  • Hazel February 18th, 2014 11:40 PM


  • Danielle February 19th, 2014 1:04 AM

    Wellllllll I’m dead.

  • taste test February 19th, 2014 9:12 AM

    OH MY GOOOOOD :D you don’t want to know how much I freaked out when I saw this. most excited I’ve been about ask a grown man in a long time!

  • Jott February 19th, 2014 11:14 AM

    “Ok, bye now” is the cutest!

  • Ayabagels February 21st, 2014 4:18 AM

    AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. I had the biggest crush on him when I was in my early teenz, jamming out to Pavement in my walkman. Can’t believe he’s actually featured in AaGM! /dreamy sigh ♡

    (I hope you can feature the Dessner twins from the National in AaGM next time. :))

  • missesdray February 25th, 2014 2:40 AM

    cannot handle!!!