Ruby

I am happy. I’ve been happy before, but it’s never lasted this long. I’ve been happy for moments when someone’s sent me a message telling me they liked my writing, or while reading a happy book, or while huddling with my friends under a soft blanket. I’ve been happy for days when the leaves were crunchy and the world smelled like fire and earth.

But right now I am in love with another person who is also in love with me, and I am completely sure of that, and I want everyone in the world to know.

I want it to be announced to the world that he sings to the noisy instrumental parts of Sonic Youth and traces shapes on my arms when we’re next to each other. I want everyone to feel the way I do when I kiss him on the cheek and he smiles and it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. I want everyone to watch us singing “Space Oddity” in his car, and him catching me when I slip on the ice he made me walk on with him.

I trust him more than anything, and I don’t trust anyone easily. Why?

He wears the reindeer sweater I gave him while I sit across from him at the coffee shop we always go to.

We pretend to be adults, a young married couple, and go to Cardi’s. We look at couches.

These things have transformed me. I am wearing colors. My hair is short. I am happy. ♦