Winter break is so close that these last few days of school are painful. All I really want to do is watch Trent Reznor interviews and listen to Nirvana and Nine Inch Nails and make things. I think some small part of me will miss the human contact that school brings, especially since so many people I know are going away, but six hours a day with my classmates mixed with the harsh cold of the East Coast is not worth it.
I have finally learned what it means to not care what anyone thinks, and that makes everything more bearable. I can wear a floor-length trench coat or black lipstick or a ton of layers without spending half an hour in the mirror worrying that someone will say something about me. Listening to music alone in the corner of my school library is just as liberating as having a good conversation with someone. I belong to myself and not to everyone around me.
My art and writing have become an extension of me. I have spent so much time creating pieces based on what I think other people want that I’ve almost forgotten how to access a private creative space that’s just for me. But I found it again. It feels like a whole new world and I love it. ♦