Fun

A Very Cool Christmas

Holiday cheer from our favorite aunt and uncle.

October 15

Darling Evie,

LOL this “Fox” video is HYSTERICAL! Thanks for the link!!!! I can’t stop playing it!

Chacha-chacha-chacha-CHOW,
Auntie Deb

P.S. HAHAHAHAHA! LOVE IT!

October 16

Evil-yn,

Thanks ever so much for sending that Ylvis link to your aunt. It has been really cool hearing her scream “WA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-POW” around the house 24 hours a day. She’s also started asking inanimate objects around the house what THEY say, so if you were wondering, the candle says “siz-siz-siz-pop-pop-siz-siz” and the bag of Stella D’oro breadsticks says “crunch-crunch-crunch-yum-yum-ya-yum.”

Really, thanks again. Great stuff. Oh, by the way, I hear you have another game coming up on Friday. Looking forward to helping your aunt make the BEST POSTER EVER. You have 48 hours.

Don’t Mess With the Best Cuz the Best Don’t Mess,
—M.

October 18

Hi, Evie!

Yes, the poster is almost ready! Mitch wanted to help, but I told him I needed to concentrate in order to do my best work, so he left me alone. You are such a sweet niece to think of something like this. He’s going to be so excited when he sees it!

XOXO,
Aunt Deb

October 19

Devil-yn,

What can I say? You win. That was an epic burn, and I tip my hat. When she unrolled that poster and I saw the words “I LOVE MITCH FOREVER XXOO DEBBIE (GO PANTHERS)” I almost cried tears of pride. Nice to know my gift of treachery has been passed down to the next generation.

—M.

P.S. This means war.

October 28

Dearest Evie—

It’s been forever and a day! Last night was the big night: CAROLINE’S HALLOWEEN PARTY. My costume was a HIT! Everyone kept asking me to channel the spirits, like I was really the Long Island Medium. Yeah, right! Like I told everyone at the party: The only spirit I can channel is the HOLIDAY SPIRIT! That was my big joke, and everyone got a kick out of it, as you can imagine.

Mitch’s scientist costume went over pretty well until he sprayed Bill from accounting with his “zombie antidote” or whatever he called it. He was yelling something about “sellouts” and “bandwagons.” I think he had too much Pumpkin Punch. Always a scene with that one! Typical Mitch!

I know you’re “over” trick-or-treating these days, but did you do anything special for Halloween? A party or something? I hope so. Life should be as fun as possible! Never pass up a chance to have fun. Unless it’s dangerous fun, like the kind that they warn you about in health class. Steer clear of those things.

You are missed! Hope all is well!

Much love,
Auntie Deb

P.S. Have you heard of that song “Royals”? What a voice that young lady has! One question though: What does she means when she says she “craves a different type of bus”? Am I missing something? Carolyn knows someone who powers their car with vegetable oil. Can you imagine!? Maybe that’s the kind of bus this young lady’s looking for. I hope someone lets her know that the oil smells a bit like French fries! Not that I’d complain! LOL!

November 3

Darling Evie,

A different kind of buzz! That makes a lot more sense! Though I wouldn’t fault anyone for looking into alternative fuels. That’s the future, you know! Someday we’ll all be driving cars powered by MARSHMALLOWS or something! At least I hope so! Wouldn’t a marshmallow station be an absolute dream!? Yum-o, as Rachael Ray says. (Love her!)

The pictures you sent from Halloween were fabulous! It must have taken you hours to sew that costume. Cinderella at the Stroke of Midnight! What a marvelous idea. Even Uncle Mitch was impressed. I hope you had a fun time at your party and ate lots of candy! I know you’re older now, but you’re never too old for Kit Kats, if you ask me! LOL? Gimme a break!!!

We’re looking forward to seeing you at Thanksgiving. I’m thinking of trying out a new recipe this year. Do you think green beans and vanilla would mix well? It’s just something that came to me. Seems very fancy, right? Ooh la la!

Miss you bunches,
Auntie Deb

November 7

Evie Nicks—

It has come to my attention that your sweetheart is going to be joining us for Thanksgiving dessert. How wonderful for you! Surely nothing embarrassing will take place.

Payback’s a Swear Word That I Shouldn’t Use Because Your Mom Will Get Mad at Me,
Uncle Mitch, Still The Ultimate Champion

November 8

Eve Miller Band,

Good news! Just found out that Al’s House of Arachnids will ship for free if I spend $50 or more. Of course, that means I’ll have to pony up for the 500 pack of spiders, but I think it will be worth it, don’t you?

Mwah ha ha,
Uncle Mitch

November 10

Oh, Evie. He’s just teasing you. Typical Mitch! In fact, he’s more afraid of spiders than anyone I know. Just last week he made me take one out of the bathroom because he couldn’t bear to pick it up and toss it outside himself. If anything, he’ll embarrass you by trying to impress your friend with his stories about “the old days.” It’s like, we get it, Mitch! You saw Fugozzy (SP?) in ’87. Sheesh! Get over it!

Anyway, don’t worry. Things will be fine. Bad news on the side-dish front, however: Turns out my vanilla green bean casserole tasted…well, Mitch called it something that rhymes with “casserole” that I won’t repeat, but you get the point. Ah, well! Another day, another recipe!

I’m Thankful for You!
Auntie Deb

November 15

Evelyn—

Nicely played, putting that fake tarantula on the hood of my car. Thanks for putting my reaction on Vine. Bill in accounting has been playing it on a loop all morning.

In other news, your aunt is still “experimenting” with side dishes for Thanksgiving dinner. Last night she tried to serve me “Potatoes à la Deb,” which was basically just mashed potatoes with spaghetti sauce and cinnamon thrown on top. She says these are all “sophisticated fusion” recipes and that my palate “isn’t ready” for them yet, but man, each one is worse than the last. I feel bad, because she really does want to impress everyone.

Tell you what: If you can help your aunt come up with a solid (edible) dish to serve, we’ll call it a truce. I’ll be on my best behavior. I won’t even brag about Fugazi. I still reserve the right to make fun of your dad’s pleated Dockers, though. That’s been a holiday tradition since at least 1992, and some things are sacred.

War Is Over,
M.

Page

1 2 3

21 Comments

  • daisyauthority December 25th, 2013 4:17 PM

    This is quite possibly the best Aunt Debbie and Uncle Mitch ever. Thank you Pixie, I’m falling out of my chair with laughter right now.

    xx velveteenstyle.blogspot.com

  • flapperhatgirl December 25th, 2013 7:13 PM

    I may or may not have screamed out loud when I saw this… I love aunt debbie and uncle Mitch! A perfect Christmas present from rookie.

  • quirkflower December 25th, 2013 7:20 PM

    Uncle Deb and Aunt Mitch are the greatest thing this world has to offer. I’m sitting in the corner at family Christmas cracking up.

  • Maddy December 25th, 2013 7:26 PM

    I smiled a lot. I’m still smiling. Such good stuff. Axl Groban. (Also, like, it’s a little thing, but I so appreciate that Evie had a “sweetheart”—’ol Hot Topic— instead of saying specifically she had a boyfriend. <3 Rookie!)

    "Heavy times call for heavy metal!"

  • rubyredroses December 25th, 2013 7:31 PM

    best thing I’ve ever read. By far.

  • Shannon December 25th, 2013 7:44 PM

    This is too funny! You’re super lucky to have people like this in your life.

  • Cerise December 25th, 2013 7:57 PM

    I seriously get so happy when I see another Aunt Debbie and Uncle Mitch post, especially when I’m not expecting it. Made my night. :D

  • janevtiamat December 25th, 2013 8:56 PM

    They are a riiiioooootttt! love the word plays on your name! these e mails are one of my favs of rookie

    http://therevgen.blogspot.com/

  • kirsten December 26th, 2013 12:10 AM

    “I feel like a famous artist, like Andy Warhol or Thomas Kinkade.”

    hahahahaha DYING

  • julalondon December 26th, 2013 4:32 AM

    Yay i love them!!!!!!!! Thank you Rookie for that Christmas present! <3

  • nizmocat December 26th, 2013 7:02 AM

    I LOVE THESE so much <3333
    "different kind of bus" omfg

    http://perpetual-perplexities.blogspot.co.nz/

  • elliecp December 26th, 2013 8:02 AM

    This is awesome!

    http://roseandvintage.blogspot.com/

  • mangointhesky December 26th, 2013 9:41 AM

    These are perfect!!! xx

    http://mangointhesky.blogspot.com

  • soviet_kitsch December 26th, 2013 12:31 PM

    UNCLE MITCHMAS

  • StellaBerlin December 26th, 2013 11:39 PM

    “What is a selfie? Can I get it at Right-Aid?”

  • Laia December 27th, 2013 12:01 PM

    love love love love this.

  • lauraunicorns December 27th, 2013 3:24 PM

    These are the greatest. Axl Groban… I can’t.

  • aikaendi December 27th, 2013 5:08 PM

    THESE TWO THOUGH <3
    I swear, this might be my favorite thing on Rookie.

  • iamrachii December 28th, 2013 11:43 AM

    Uncle Mitch’s frame of reference is my favourite thing about Rookie!

  • Clementine Rose January 3rd, 2014 8:44 PM

    YES YES YES! Another Aunt Debbie and Uncle Mitch!!! Best Christmas post ever written! You’re awesome, Pixie!

  • Princess Kitty January 28th, 2014 10:29 PM

    Pixie (and Rookie), I just have to thank you for the absolute joy you bring to my life thru Aunt Debbie, Uncle Mitch, and Evelyn. ❤❤❤ I am not always online, but whenever I am, I eagerly hope and look for the next installation. Thank You Pixie!!! So very very well done. Xoxoxo