She said that she always stole your stuff, so you were probably already mad about that…

Hmm. I may have to look at this picture again. As Shannon will point out to people, my memory of chronology in storytelling is actually horrible. As an English major I should probably be better at this. Shannon was always stealing my stuff. And I would always call her on it, and she would say that I was stealing her stuff! And I’m like totally not stealing her stuff! She’d always be taking something from me. When I was in high school and she was in middle school, she left for school after I did. She’d think she was being sneaky and take all my stuff after I left.

You guys come from a really big family, so I can understand how when there’s a finite number of resources, you have to always steal each other’s stuff.

Yeah, food especially. You have to write your name on it or people are gonna steal your food. Sorry!

You should find out whose name was on that Fruit Roll-Up! Do you have any embarrassing childhood stories about Shannon?

Um, I have a really good one, but I’m not sure if I should… Actually, you know what, she brought up the Fruit Roll-up thing!


[Laughs] So, um…Shannon and I always shared a room, and we used to have bunk beds. You know the space between the wall and the bed?


We would call that the tuna can. I don’t really know why.

[Laughs] No sense. OK, go on.

We always called it that, too—I don’t even remember how it started. Shannon had the top bunk, and one time she was going up there after a shower, and she didn’t want to get dressed yet, so she just got in bed and wrapped herself up in blankets. And then she was trying to, instead of going down the ladder, like slide between the crack…?


And she got stuck naked between the wall and the bed. [Laughs]

How old was she?

She was like eight. It was so funny, because when I walked back in the room, Shannon was just, like, naked on the wall. And she was screaming, “Kaite, I’m stuck in the tuna can! I’m stuck in the tuna can!”

Oh my god. “Kaite, I’m stuck in the tuna can” is my new favorite sentence. So, you got her out?

Yeah, I got her out, and she was laughing, but crying at the same time because she was so embarrassed.

Was anyone else home?

Yeah, I think my mom was, because I remember telling her what happened. Shannon was so embarrassed. To this day, whenever she does something embarrassing she gets SO MAD at me if I tell other people.

She is going to love this interview, then. What do you get out of your relationship with her that you don’t get out of your other friendships?

Something I really admire about my little sister is that everything she says is either funny or intelligent or both. I don’t get that from a lot of people. She’s very sassy, too. Like hardcore sassy.

Even her email to us was already real real sassy. What else is awesome about her?

I think that once Shannon starts to get to the point where she realizes how awesome she really is, she’s going to do so well. She has a very cool way of thinking about things and a lot of really cool things to say. She isn’t afraid of looking past popular opinions to see what things actually are. There have been situations where Shannon has called people out for being ignorant. She’s pretty kickass.

So in a way, this thing she admires about you that she thinks she doesn’t have—she actually has it. She’s not afraid to state her opinion at all.

Absolutely. She just needs to start believing in herself as much as I believe in her.

Aww! You guys are so cute! What are you doing for Thanksgiving?

Probably just talking about this article. I’m gonna post it on Facebook five times.

You think that now, but wait till it comes out and you see that we just took all your quotes out of context and made it super scandalous.

Yeah, I hope so. I mean that’s all I’ve ever wanted—to be the subject of a scandal.

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ROOKIE: So I wanted to talk to you again to follow up on something Kaite told me about.

SHANNON [crusher]: OK…

All right, don’t get mad at her, but she told me the naked-in-the-tuna-can story.

Oh my god. [Laughs] That’s so embarrassing.

I thought it was so funny and cute. And I have some questions about it! First of all, why did you think it was gonna be easier to smush your body between the bunk bed and the wall rather than go down the ladder, which was, like, built for going down?

I was a weird kid. I think I thought it would be funny if I was just sliding down the wall instead of climbing down the ladder.

You were by yourself?


So you thought it would be funny for yourself?


OK, so you had just gotten out of the shower, and you went up into bed naked…

I used to do that when I was little. I would wrap myself up in a blanket and hide in my room for an hour because I didn’t feel like getting dressed. I said I was a weird kid!

[Laughs] I think all kids are weird. How old were you?

Like six, I think.

Where on your body did you get stuck? Like, what was above the bunk bed and what was below?

I was like halfway through. I was horizontally trying to go down—not like legs first or head first.

Oh, so like one leg was on top and one leg was on the bottom, with the bed bisecting your body?

Yeah. [Laughs]

I was picturing legs dangling down between the bunk beds.

No, it was like half of me. The other way.

That makes more sense, actually, because I can see how it would be hard to free yourself from that position. Were you literally stuck?

Yeah, I was literally stuck, for I think a long time!

And Kaite said you started yelling, “Kaite, I’m stuck in the tuna can!”

Yeah. [Laughs]

Did she wait until after she’d helped you out to laugh at you, or did she laugh first and then help you?

I think she laughed and then helped me. And I was like, “THIS IS REALLY SERIOUS!!”

Kaite also said such wonderful things about you. She said you don’t listen to what’s cool to like or not cool to like, and that you’re really good at figuring out what you like and why. But when you and I talked before, you had characterized yourself as so indecisive, while you said Kaite is so good at knowing her mind and speaking it. But this proves that you are, too.


All right, have a good Thanksgiving, you.

You too! ♦

(Interviews conducted by Anaheed.)

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