Sex + Love

The Sex Crylebration

No matter what goes wrong, you will live to bone another day.

“What if my mouth gets tired during oral sex and I can’t go on?”

Lola: Your mouth is going to get tired. Faking your own death is the only option; tell your sweetie you have to go to the bathroom for a second.

Krista: When your tongue feels like it’s going to fall off and you feel like you OMG cannot keep going for ONE MORE SECOND, just…take a break. As we have established, you are a human, with human limits. You are not an oral-sex machine, programmed to keep going nonstop for as long as it takes to get someone off. You can take little breaks, going and then stopping for a bit, then going again.

Lola: I like to get really concrete with people in this situation. “Do you want me to keep going?” is a good one, because sometimes maybe they DON’T want to come. Maybe they’re just being polite, and are secretly like, Oh my god when is this going to end. Or you could just guide their hand onto their business as a hint that you need an assist.

“What if the condom breaks?”

Lola: If the condom breaks or comes off during vaginal intercourse, stop having intercourse and wash up like you normally would—DO NOT USE A DOUCHE to try to flush the semen out of your vagina, as this will increase your risk of infection. Go to the drugstore or a Planned Parenthood and get some emergency contraception, aka the morning-after pill. There are two kinds—their brand names are Plan B and Ella—and they are effective for preventing pregnancy if taken within 120 hours of the broken-condom incident (but the sooner the better). (A copper IUD can also be put in for EC, but there are often barriers that make it hard to get it within the 72-hour timeframe for effectiveness.) The best way to prep for this Worst Fear Come True is to always have emergency contraception on hand just in case. If you’re in the U.S., the Emergency Contraception Website can help you locate a source. No matter where you are, the site also has instructions on how to safely take “regular” birth control pills at a dose that provides emergency contraception.

“What if I queef?”

Lola: Whilst at rest, the vagina isn’t “open”–the walls touch each other, like a balloon that’s deflated. During ~arousal~ the vagina lengthens and expands, creating space that air (and other things) can get into. If something enters the vagina in this state, it pushes out the air. And, staying with our balloon analogy, we all know what happens when you force the air out of an inflated balloon really fast: It makes a farting noise. The same thing happens when a pocket of air is forced out of your vag by an invading object. This article says that the risk of queefing is increased “the more times a penis is completely withdrawn from the vagina and reinserted,” such as often happens when you change sexual positions. I think it’s safe to extrapolate that this principle probably applies to other penetrative objects. I guess the question for you is: Is changing positions frequently more fun than queefing is embarrassing?

Krista: No, I think the question is, what if you don’t queef? THEN WHAT DO YOU DO???

Lola: Right?!

Krista: There is no way to prevent queefing. Either it happens or it doesn’t, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it, so you can either laugh about it or just ignore it and act like nothing out of the ordinary happened. Because nothing out of the ordinary did happen. PEOPLE QUEEF. It is normal!

LIVED TO BONE ANOTHER DAY: Our very own Amy Rose. Here is her easy “how to queef on command” tutorial:

You just lie on your back and throw your legs all around and bicycle them until the magic happens and all your dorm room girlfriends die laughing.

“What if there’s blood?”

Lola: People bleed after sex for a lot of different reasons, ranging from the totally harmless (friction, not enough lube) to conditions that need medical attention, like chlamydia. If you experience this and don’t know why it’s happening, it’s worth getting checked out, even if it’s just to be reassured that nothing serious is going on.

A lot of people with vaginas bleed the first time they have intercourse because the corona (previously known as the hymen) has been torn or stretched out really fast, but the vast majority don’t. If you don’t bleed the first time you’re penetrated by something (fingers, tampon, penis, toy, whatever), that doesn’t mean you weren’t a “virgin.” It just means your corona was already torn or stretched or that it wasn’t in the way or that it wasn’t there in the first place. Again, this = most people.

Krista: Sometimes, after rough or extensive sex with penises or fingers, or when there’s not enough lubrication, the vagina can bleed just a little bit for no particular reason. Also, sometimes you’re on your period, which is—you guessed it—NBD.

Lola: If having period sex skeeves you out, don’t do it. It’s OK for you or your partner to be grossed out or not grossed out. Sometimes, even though a sex thing is normal and not medically dangerous and doesn’t interfere with anything and many would find it of little to no consequence, people can’t hang. That’s your right. But know this: Sometimes, even with the best scheduling, the uterus is NOT havin’ it. There is a sudden rebellion. The sheets get bloody anyway. If this happens, panic not. Read this Hairpin article, in which a roundtable of writers offer their very different positions on period sex (and different solutions for bloodstains), and feel normal.

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82 Comments

  • soviet_kitsch October 29th, 2013 3:49 PM

    “old filthful”
    “only the best for those i love”
    “there is really no way for you all to understand how much liquid diarrhea there was in that room”

    i’ve been cry-laughing nonstop for several minutes

  • RPWlover October 29th, 2013 3:59 PM

    Krista,

    Your poop in bed story is the best thing I’ve EVER read. EVER. I just cried laughing alone in my room and I will be re-reading that every time I need to cheer up. Thank you. So. Much.

    • MaggietheCat October 29th, 2013 5:04 PM

      CRIED LAUGHING!!! BEST STORY EVER!

    • Abby October 30th, 2013 10:55 AM

      RPWlover we had the exact same experience except I’m in Astronomy lecture soooo…. awkward. ha.

  • JackiePerez October 29th, 2013 4:17 PM

    Thanks! I’m still a virgin but I’m using this as future reference and to keep myself from being freaked out for nothing :)

  • judylouise October 29th, 2013 4:23 PM

    love all this sex positivity but why does this article only talk about straight cis sex?! where is the queer & trans inclusion??

    • Lola October 29th, 2013 4:53 PM

      hey judy, beyond the fact that krista and i are both humongous dykes we are really concerned about including everybody for this article. i personally scanned it five or six times trying to remove gendered language and assumptions about anyone’s gender or who they might be partnering with (or how), but it’s not always easy to catch stuff, so thank you for calling it out.

      i’m a gyno, and even though i work with trans/gnc individuals, most of my patients are cis women. i tried to correct this experience bias as best as i could, but should have reached further to individuals that could speak to a trans female experience, because i want all girls to feel included. it’s true that the examples we used are all cishet couplings; i want to say that that was totally unintentional, but also that it was unintended is not meant to be an excuse. krista and i couldn’t think of anything specifically scary re: going down on a vulva, beyond mouths getting tired or possibly period sex, so that’s why there are no specific questions that address that specifically. i know that non-exclusion is not inclusion, and i apologize. i will work extra-hard to find examples that address a range of experience.

      if you are willing to let me know what else i can address, or just want to keep talking, i am really really grateful to keep up a dialogue cos that’s how i get better: lolapellegrino@gmail.com.

  • Esme October 29th, 2013 4:25 PM

    seriously literally the greatest thing i have ever read

  • Hazel October 29th, 2013 4:29 PM

    KRRRRRRISTA! Oh my goddess, that amazing story. This whole thing is so, so good.

  • izzywayout October 29th, 2013 4:32 PM

    the first time i came, i burst into laughter. my girlfriend was going down on me and suddenly i had to ask her to stop because i was laughing really hard and it was difficult for me to be still in bed. at first she just looked at me with a very weird look on her face and kept asking if she had done something wrong, but then she realized how weird that moment was and started laughing with me. i swear i laughed so hard i even cried a little hit lol later i explained to her that i started laughing because i had been hit by a huge “wave of emotions” and didnt know how to deal with it. she completely understood and now it’s kind of an inside joke between us :)

    • Esme October 29th, 2013 5:00 PM

      ^^^ LITERALLY ME!!!! gigglegasms 4 eva

  • lids October 29th, 2013 4:41 PM

    ohh yeah i’ve thrown up on my bf while giving him a blow job, coz i was drunk. i thought he might no notice the huge pool of puke all over him and the sheets go i kept going (drunk chicken). he literally stopped me, saying “erm i think you’ve thrown up a bit’ and went to the shower. we’ve changed the sheets. sooo embarrassing. but we’re together, and pretty much had all the moments from the article (apart from the shit one haha). dont even know who else would’ve dtayed with me after that, only him <3

  • piisaa October 29th, 2013 4:45 PM

    Oh my this is awesome! (And also that illustration is rad!!)

  • Yayo October 29th, 2013 4:46 PM

    KRISTA I AM DYING AT YOUR STORY OH MY GOD !!!!!!!!!

    This might be my favourite Rookie post ever, you guys. Literally, the best.

  • Unicorn_teen October 29th, 2013 4:56 PM

    Embarrassing sex stories are possibly the scariest thing to read before a halloween hookup. But if anything happens, at least i’ll know how to own it (;

  • Laurets October 29th, 2013 5:00 PM

    Omg Krista you’re my favourite. Seriously. I don’t think I’ll ever be embarrassed about anything ever in my life. Thank you so much.
    Also, I loved the article, but maybe there could have been some material on shaving, perhaps? It’s the only thing I kinda missed.

    • die_mad October 29th, 2013 8:24 PM

      Same, I wished there was some discussion of shaving, and hair, and things of the like.

      • farawayfaerie November 5th, 2013 5:17 PM

        I used to be so nervy about pubez. I hate shaving ‘down there’ or any hair removal, but was worried my boyfriend would think it was gross/wouldn’t want to go down on me, mainly because I wouldn’t want to go down on me!

        Except usually your boyfriend would’ve touched you ‘below’ before he goes down on you, and so pubes wouldn’t be a surprise, and then also there’s the whole ‘this person trusts me and is letting me pleasure them and returning it and woah sexy times with this amazing babe’ aspect that is pretty much ALL your sex partner is thinking at the time.

        ^that’s what i know about not shaving, can’t help with hair removal.

  • boilemmashem October 29th, 2013 5:28 PM

    loved the article (and the shit story will forever be a classic), however, i’m surprised that on the note of orgasms – in the blow job part of the piece – that the option of having your partner come on you wasn’t included too? it is something that i do with my own boyfriend quite regularly, and i guess it is seen as more of a porn stereotype (which it shouldn’t be at all), so it was a bit of a shame not to see it added to the other options.

    that aside, as said, i enjoyed the post!

  • Jen L. October 29th, 2013 5:33 PM

    Ahhh the other day I was makin’ out with this guy shirtless and all, and my boob kinda farted against his chest (I know, what?)…. Oh lordy, I’m still not over it. We kept making out after laughing for a bit, but he stopped laughing and I didn’t… Worst thing ever.

    I feel this article so much though, thanks a ton!!!

  • emseely October 29th, 2013 6:05 PM

    GAWD this is so great. I feel like “Sex Towel” would be an excellent band name? And krista, you’re my hero.

  • Ally_O October 29th, 2013 6:06 PM

    OMG KRISTA I’m laughing so hard at your poop story I feel like if you handled that I can handle any embarrassing sex situation

  • idkmaybs October 29th, 2013 6:07 PM

    This post just alleviated all the anxiety I constantly have about queefing while having sex.

    Hallelujah, I’ve just been having great sex.

    • Lola October 30th, 2013 2:03 AM

      this is what we’re sayin!

  • flocha October 29th, 2013 6:22 PM

    This is quite possibly the best/funniest/most informative thing I have ever read thank youuuuuuu rookie!

    http://www.whimsicalprocrastination.blogspot.co.uk

  • kendallkh October 29th, 2013 6:26 PM

    krista….oh….my…..god

  • hoggster October 29th, 2013 6:29 PM

    Oh man, gagging :3 seriously such a useful article :) x

  • spudzine October 29th, 2013 6:45 PM

    I’m so super happy that my secret sex questions were answered. I mean, no one wants to talk about these kinds of things, since it’s kind of deemed as wrong by society(ha ha), but it’s great that people now have a guide to the parts of sex that people might be…ashamed of or confused about. I was confused about fluids and stuff like that, but thankfully, I now know more about sex than I did before reading this! Yay!

    http://spudzine.tumblr.com/
    http://emotwins.tumblr.com/
    http://rockogirl.tumblr.com/

  • Dane October 29th, 2013 7:00 PM

    True story:

    One time, I was sleeping with this girl, and she came so hard she farted. Not like, “toot” but like, “frrrrappppphgghhhh”

    It was really cute, and I felt very validated as a person who makes other people come.

    Then, we giggled about it for a minute and I made her come *again* and she farted really hard *again* and it was still adorable and also really, really hilarious. Everyone had a good time.

    The End

    • Mags October 29th, 2013 10:26 PM

      That is freaking AWESOME! hahahahaha

    • Coco October 30th, 2013 1:43 AM

      massive lols at “frrrrappppphgghhhh”

      Good on you for having a wicked appreciation for how cute sexual mishaps are

  • Katzemuse October 29th, 2013 7:17 PM

    That Jonathan story had me in tears. Everyone in study hall was staring at me. Brava, sister, brava.

  • dandelions October 29th, 2013 7:20 PM

    While I was reading Krista story I was so concerned about her situation, I was like “Wow, Krista… that must be really a lot to clean up” And then I read: “Jonathan, there’s something I need to tell you. Last night…you peed the bed”

    I LAUGHED A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I’m in the library, so everybody looked at me as if I were crazy.

  • artobsessed October 29th, 2013 7:21 PM

    oh my god, the best line,”naked, covered in my own diarrhea…”

  • Naomi October 29th, 2013 7:24 PM

    $PRICELESS<3

  • FragileBird October 29th, 2013 7:24 PM

    Oh Krista, lol, I love you!

  • kathryn-s October 29th, 2013 7:35 PM

    KRISTAAAAAA!!!! that was both the best sex anecdote AND the best poop anecdote I HAVE EVER READ. THANK YOU.

  • abbysumrie October 29th, 2013 8:05 PM

    OH MY GOD

    the poop story is legendary, as is the vomiting during a blow job story, in any embarrassing situation ever from now on I will remind myself that it could be worse.

    CRIED LAUGHING (no offense)…I LOVE ROOKIE! X

  • kittyweasel October 29th, 2013 8:10 PM

    Oh my dear goodness. I cried because I was laughing at Krista’s story so hard. Now I’m just crying, omg. Great article!!

  • AnaBanana October 29th, 2013 8:20 PM

    lol Krista, you are my idol!!!!!! BEST STORY EVER.

  • meels October 29th, 2013 8:21 PM

    Krista, that was probably one of the best and and the most entertaining things I’ve ever read! Could not stop shrieking with laughter, thank you for bringing this brilliant story into my life!! The best part is that you can actually write about it, damn girl!!

  • die_mad October 29th, 2013 8:23 PM

    THANK you for this, me and my best friend have literally been screaming in anxiety over situations similar to these, and now I feel so much better oh my lord
    ALSO KRISTA your story made me choke on my spit and fall off of my bed…
    My parents think I’m doing AP homework so I wonder what they are thinking

  • Gabby October 29th, 2013 8:23 PM

    THIS IS AMAZING AND A TREASURE

    “Candles literally lit themselves” <3

  • Phoebe October 29th, 2013 8:33 PM

    HALLELUJAH THANK YOU! What would we do without rookie and their invaluable stories about shitting in your boyfriend!?!

  • Snoz October 29th, 2013 8:37 PM

    Words cannot describe how much I love this article.
    Life’s too short to regret shitting the bed with someone you like.

    THANK YOU!!!

  • Mariana October 29th, 2013 8:49 PM

    omg i read this in the library!! it took SO MUCH RESOLVE to laugh quietly when reading krista’s story! but yeah, this really helped with any sex anxiety, thanks!

  • kolumbia October 29th, 2013 9:28 PM

    This answers SO MANY questions I have! And I appreciate the gender-neutral language.

  • summersun October 29th, 2013 9:30 PM

    such a perfect article! a few months ago i was kinda drunk and gave this guy a blow job at a party… we were in a bathroom and i ended up throwing up a little in the toilet, but it didn’t really seem like he noticed so i kept going …… when we left he like turned on the lights and looked in the toilet and i wasn’t sure if he saw anything but i was soooo embarrassed and i spent ages googling it to see if it had ever happened to anyone before so thank you for bringing it up!

  • Pluiie October 29th, 2013 10:13 PM

    The poop story was one of the most horrifying things I have ever read. I have the greatest admiration for you, Krista. I don’t even have words I feel like you have experienced actual hell. AND YOU TELL THE TALE. GOD BLESS YOU.

  • itsireepie October 29th, 2013 10:22 PM

    I’m a virgin, but omg thank you for this. I always think “Wait what if I end up peeing when I have sex?” That was like my worst nightmare. But I might as well accept the fact that weird things will happen; that way I can wholeheartedly enjoy the moment when it happens.

  • Mags October 29th, 2013 10:25 PM

    OH.MY.JESUS. This is pure, unadulterated greatness.
    Can’t stop laughing at Krista’s story, and this gem:

    “For some people, getting over it is riding a motorcycle of DGAF off of the highest cliff of YOLO mountain.”

    FLAWLESS FLAWLESSNESS!!!!

  • Jes October 29th, 2013 10:29 PM

    y’all… whatever happens to us in the years ahead, it’s going to be all right. we are all going to LIVE TO BONE ANOTHER DAY.

  • Suzie Q October 29th, 2013 10:55 PM

    100,000,000 THANK YOUS!!!

  • Marie October 29th, 2013 11:16 PM

    THIS IS SO GOOD OMG LOVE U BOTH

  • catnoises October 29th, 2013 11:35 PM

    This is probably the best story I’ve read on Rookie or maybe anywhere. Feel great, gals, you rocked this.

  • kelsey October 30th, 2013 12:12 AM

    “Last night…you peed the bed. We dated for years.” BAHAHAHAHAHA! This was brilliant. Thanks!

  • Coco October 30th, 2013 1:34 AM

    Oh my god Krista’s diarrhoea story, I can’t breathe you guys

  • elliecp October 30th, 2013 4:04 AM

    This is so great! Seriously calmed me down. Weirdly enough I was discussing the same topic with my friends today!

    http://roseandvintage.blogspot.com/

  • Sagolikt October 30th, 2013 5:42 AM

    YOU’RE AWESOME! I laughed a lot reading this, also I think I’m not so afraid of having sex with another person after reading this. Thanks you guys, you’re all wonderful!

  • Zoe October 30th, 2013 5:49 AM

    Omg, this has to actually be the best thing ever.

  • cloudinthesky October 30th, 2013 7:27 AM

    Oh Rookie, you’re just awesome.

  • julalondon October 30th, 2013 12:19 PM

    Rookie always makes me feel like a normal Person and not a weirdo because i know that stuff like that happens to other People as well.. Thank you for that!! <3

  • queennannygoat October 30th, 2013 1:54 PM

    I have a question; what if I went down on a guy and his penis did smell like sweat(It did make me gag) I also work with him and at work he smells bad too.
    Is there ever a good way to sutbly tell him he smells??

    • Anaheed February 1st, 2014 4:09 AM

      I’m not Krista or Lola, but I think the best thing to do is to spin it in a positive way, like “I love going down on you when you’re straight out of the shower.” OR, right before you guys get down, invite him to take a sexy shower with you. If you know him really, really well, though, you can just tell him straight-up, IMO.

  • painting_the_roses_pink October 30th, 2013 6:48 PM

    I remember an ex of mine and I were having anal sex and part of the way through I accidently got a little poo on his penis. He told me, we went to his bathroom and both cleaned up then watched some TV.

    I was pretty embarrassed when it happened but he made me feel better and reassured me it was no big deal. He wasn’t a great guy in a lot of respects, (hence the ‘ex’ part) but I have to give him props for being cool about all that.

    Now its just a funny story I tell to friends about the time I pooped on my ex.

    Speaking of funny stories, the taco diarrhea on boyfriend story had me crying!

  • double-fantasy October 30th, 2013 8:57 PM

    KRISTA

  • Valerie Violet October 31st, 2013 1:47 AM

    MY WEEK HAS BEEN MADE SWEET JESUS I just shared the poo story with basically everyone I know. Amazing. AMAZING.

  • norma storma November 1st, 2013 4:15 PM

    Wonderful article! Thanks for such great information about things sex-related!

    However, in response to some first-page-sex-descriptions: I would caution against using the word “Perfect” in relation to sex. But if you do want to call it perfect, it can still (and probably will) be messy, liquidy, embarrassing sex.

  • strawberryhair November 1st, 2013 7:51 PM

    KRISTA IS A GODDESS

  • alups November 1st, 2013 9:33 PM

    this post made me so happy!
    a little ‘lived to bone another day’ anecdote of my own: a while back my boyfriend was going down and me and i was having a great time when out of nowhere i farted. i literally farted on his chin, it was AWFUL and we both sort of laughed and didn’t finish having sex and it was stupendously awkward for about 45 minutes and then i cried cos he’d made me feel so stupid and embarrassed about it. he apologised but i really wish i’d just laughed about it properly instead!

  • V. November 2nd, 2013 12:00 PM

    I LOVE ROOKIE FOR THIS!!

  • Dylan November 2nd, 2013 6:39 PM

    This is a masterpiece.

  • InSmithereens November 2nd, 2013 9:47 PM

    I threw up on my most recent ex the first time I went down on him… He started really thrusting and I have a reeeeally sensitive gag reflex (recovered bulimic, sometimes just swallowing food makes me throw up) he laughed it off and apologised for going too fast. It really facilitated us talking about my ED.
    Moral of the story- bulimia will ruin your gag reflex.

  • November 3rd, 2013 8:37 AM

    What a perfect article! I lost my ‘virginity’ a year ago- at 22 I still worry and wonder if I’m doing it right and this has reassured me the only right way is what feels comfortable for me at the end of the day.

    And Krista’s poop story shall live forever in my mind’s funny bank. Thank you.

  • lillybylilly November 3rd, 2013 2:04 PM

    This is literally one of the best, most helpful things I have ever read, and the poo story was just brilliant

  • cematinla November 10th, 2013 12:40 PM

    Maybe someone already has, but I wanted to add another option for the “giving head – where should they come?” conundrum!

    My partner loves to come on my chest. It’s like coming in your mouth in that it’s all sexy eyes as you look up at them, but no load of penis juice in your mouth! Then they get to clean you off which has a very loving, kitteny affection to it. All in all, a great option@

  • slampora December 1st, 2013 4:33 PM

    if you ever feel like you make weird sounds when you come, know that i once accidentally started rapping the chorus of “cyclone” by baby bash. my girlfriend can testify to this. it was a frightening experience for all involved.

  • tockoftheclocks January 2nd, 2014 9:18 AM

    I showed the shitting in his bed story to every girl I know, all of whom died/peed/cried laughing. I still sometimes snort when I think about it. Fab.

    http://tockoftheclocks.wordpress.com/

  • helphelphelphelphelp February 24th, 2014 1:25 PM

    i need help! it’s been two years that this has been tormenting me now. my boyfriend and i love each other so much and have this really ridiculously amazing relationship that is flawfree except for one thing: porn. i know that as soon as i leave the house, he gets on hardcore sites and looks at hella porn. on his tumblr, he only follows girls who always post themselves naked, and on instagram, those girls posting nearly naked selfies and super sexual shit. am i crazy to be jealous and annoyed? i bring it up passively and he never quite addresses it. i am in my early twenties, i’m smart, and pretty. we have a great sex life and i’m constantly horny, always wanting to have sex … so it’s not like he has to turn to porn to get fulfilled. i’m insanely jealous and i can’t talk to anyone about this in person because it’s too embarrassing for me to admit it. this is the only place i know to go and i really need help. it’s eating away at me and really affects my self-confidence and perception of myself. help! why is he doing this? is there any way to fix this? i hate constantly having to deal with this but i have a feeling it’s something that will never change and that depresses me endlessly :(((

    • Anaheed February 25th, 2014 12:17 AM

      OK, you didn’t ask for specifically my advice, and I’m not an expert or anything, but I’m old, which at least counts for experience points, right? So here is what I have to say, which you can feel free to disagree with or ignore!

      Most men watch porn. So do a lot of women, but among men the percentage is so high that a few years ago some scientists in Canada were doing a study on porn consumption and they had to call the whole thing off because they couldn’t find a single control subject who had never consumed it! Here, I just found an article about that: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/6709646/All-men-watch-porn-scientists-find.html

      It has nothing to do with how desirable you are or how much he likes you. Porn is, plain and simple, a masturbation aid; I’m assuming you are much more than that to your boyfriend, and so should you. Think of it like a sex toy—would you be upset/jealous if he used one of those when masturbating? If he’s anything like 90% of guys, he’s not comparing you to the women in the videos, and he’s not wishing he could date one of them. He’s just using those visual images to get off when you’re not around.

      That said, how do you know that he visits hardcore sites and racy Tumblrs as soon as you leave the house? Is he leaving his browser open for you to see when you get back? Or is he telling you about the porn he watches? If so, he needs to be more considerate! Tell him you know he watches porn, but that you don’t want to have to think about it, so he’s gotta get better at covering his tracks.

      • helphelphelphelphelp February 25th, 2014 2:22 PM

        anaheed, oh thank you so much for responding. i appreciate it more than you know. this is slightly mortifying to be admitting such things. i’m insanely private and can’t talk to anyone about this in person. yeah, i know … i mean i watch porn too. it’s more of a matter of “why does he need to be archiving and searching for ‘anal gape’ AS SOON AS I LEAVE” lol. when i get on his computer for something i see all of that and his modelmayhem searches and whatnot. mainly i suppose it’s the fact that he’s following the girls who post ridiculously revealing photos of themselves on instagram when he has me and i send him nudes and go down on him all the time haha. you know what i mean? i can’t help but have self confidence issues. i guess the only solution is to realize that i need to get over it and it’s something that’ll never change. his sexuality and desire to look at other girls has nothing to do with me, it’s unrelated? it’s a fact of life? sigh.

        • Anaheed February 25th, 2014 11:34 PM

          Can you tell him that it makes you feel weird to accidentally see his favorite search terms and ask him to erase his search history when you’re coming over? Also, stop looking at his Instagram feed! No reason to seek out something that you know is gonna make you feel bad, right?