Dear Diary

October 30, 2013

Adventures far from home.

Britney

I went to my first high school party on Friday, and it was the best few hours of my life. I haven’t written anything about it in my journal yet because it was such a sacred space for me—not only physically but also for my thoughts—that I feel like any attempt to describe it in words can only taint the experience.

It was the mellowest environment I have visited in a long while—maybe ever—and everything about it was even better than I thought it would be. No one expected me to be anyone I wasn’t. I didn’t have to pretend to be happy. I didn’t feel left out or like I wasn’t doing what I wanted to do. I was finally around people who wanted to talk to me, and vice versa. A group of us were content just sitting on a balcony, wrapped in blankets against the cold, the warm orange tips of people’s cigarettes the only source of light.

Everything about it was amazing. I wish I could have stayed longer, suspended in a cloud of happiness and clarity. ♦

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16 Comments

  • GlitterKitty October 30th, 2013 7:08 PM

    Katherine, story of my life!!!!

    • Kirthi October 31st, 2013 8:18 AM

      Exactly..Katherine, I feel you!!

  • dreamygirl October 30th, 2013 7:12 PM

    britney you are magic and i am glad you are beginning to find a world of magic

  • Bex_cygnet October 30th, 2013 7:24 PM

    Katherine: I think some of the ‘greatest’ writers in history have felt like you do. Kafka and Virgil off the top of my head and I’m certain if you google they’ll be myriads more.

  • savannah14 October 30th, 2013 7:31 PM

    loved all of these so very much

  • insanejane October 30th, 2013 7:32 PM

    Rookie stop !!! I can’t ! What was this perfect week ? The last four posts made my days and were extraordinary included these great diaries <3 Caitlin your work is always incredible and touches me a lot
    http://www.yellowintherainbow.tumblr.com

  • Abby October 30th, 2013 11:19 PM

    NAOMI I FEEL YOU. Doing grownup things is hard. The first time my mom told me I had to go to the dentist after I was 18 I freaked out because that meant I had to go by myself and I was like WHAAATT DO I DOOOO???

  • double_helix October 30th, 2013 11:36 PM

    Naomi, I’m a first year at a college in New York, and I feel you. So much. Let’s hang in there together. :)

  • Bas Raad October 31st, 2013 12:50 AM

    Haha Katherine I’ve been where you are. I had pages and pages of diaries and also fiction. Except I did burn everything.

    I was 16 and I went to this huge dumping ground near my house and a homeless man helped me start a fire and I stayed there and made sure every word had disappeared.

    I don’t think I regret it, you need many years before you can view your own work with any sense of detachment.

    http://www.anythingbas.blogspot.com

  • TessAnnesley October 31st, 2013 2:28 AM

    I’m so happy for Britney having the complete opposite of my high-school partying experience… Yay for fun and mellow-ness!

  • elliecp October 31st, 2013 4:17 AM

    So happy for you britney! It’s so awesome to be happy

    http://roseandvintage.blogspot.com/

  • Ladymia69 October 31st, 2013 11:05 AM

    Are those Francesca Woodman photos above Caitlin’s name?

  • kitemender21 October 31st, 2013 12:54 PM

    Ahhh Britney! so happy that you got to have such a chilled out party experience. Wish I was there!

  • lexilikes October 31st, 2013 5:02 PM

    I feel exactly the same way about my own writing Katherine. Britney that sounds wonderful!

    http://www.lexilikes.com

  • Shanlew November 1st, 2013 1:14 AM

    Naomi I know!! I did the shopping the other day on my own and it was scarrry! I was like “how do people do this every day?”

  • pepperpeanut November 1st, 2013 5:23 PM

    naomi-
    ‘to tire of london is to tire of life.’ – samuel johnson

    it makes me so sad that you’re getting bored in my beautiful city :( please explore some more. go to some vintage markets in brick lane, portobello road ot camden, walk along the southbank at sunset, watch tourists in trafalgar square. there’s so much i’ve yet to see…