Dear Diary

October 30, 2013

Adventures far from home.


This morning a storm battered southern England. The leaves that me and Erica worried would never fall are mostly on the ground. I feel a bit battered, too. Life is very relentless and I have a long to-do list every single day.

In the summer, I had to be constantly looked after. There were periods when I spent most of my days in bed and Mum had to hold my hand. I became a little homesick on Friday, I suppose because of a thought that bobs to the surface: There is no one here, away from home, to look after me. To wash up after me and buy me food, to make sure there is always milk in the fridge. That’s what I am learning about—looking after myself. The novelty of London has worn off. I feel like I live here now, that it is not just a holiday, because of the mundane chores that never stop having to be done.

After writing this, I need to go to my doctor’s appointment, an appointment I made myself. Shamefully, I’d never done that before. I have to make sure I get there, I have to ask for a repeat prescription, I have to find a pharmacy, pick up and pay for that prescription. It’s such an ordinary thing, really, but it will mean so much if I can do it. ♦


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  • GlitterKitty October 30th, 2013 7:08 PM

    Katherine, story of my life!!!!

    • Kirthi October 31st, 2013 8:18 AM

      Exactly..Katherine, I feel you!!

  • o-girl October 30th, 2013 7:12 PM

    britney you are magic and i am glad you are beginning to find a world of magic

  • Bex_cygnet October 30th, 2013 7:24 PM

    Katherine: I think some of the ‘greatest’ writers in history have felt like you do. Kafka and Virgil off the top of my head and I’m certain if you google they’ll be myriads more.

  • savannah14 October 30th, 2013 7:31 PM

    loved all of these so very much

  • insanejane October 30th, 2013 7:32 PM

    Rookie stop !!! I can’t ! What was this perfect week ? The last four posts made my days and were extraordinary included these great diaries <3 Caitlin your work is always incredible and touches me a lot

  • Abby October 30th, 2013 11:19 PM

    NAOMI I FEEL YOU. Doing grownup things is hard. The first time my mom told me I had to go to the dentist after I was 18 I freaked out because that meant I had to go by myself and I was like WHAAATT DO I DOOOO???

  • double_helix October 30th, 2013 11:36 PM

    Naomi, I’m a first year at a college in New York, and I feel you. So much. Let’s hang in there together. :)

  • Bas Raad October 31st, 2013 12:50 AM

    Haha Katherine I’ve been where you are. I had pages and pages of diaries and also fiction. Except I did burn everything.

    I was 16 and I went to this huge dumping ground near my house and a homeless man helped me start a fire and I stayed there and made sure every word had disappeared.

    I don’t think I regret it, you need many years before you can view your own work with any sense of detachment.

  • TessAnnesley October 31st, 2013 2:28 AM

    I’m so happy for Britney having the complete opposite of my high-school partying experience… Yay for fun and mellow-ness!

  • elliecp October 31st, 2013 4:17 AM

    So happy for you britney! It’s so awesome to be happy

  • Ladymia69 October 31st, 2013 11:05 AM

    Are those Francesca Woodman photos above Caitlin’s name?

  • kitemender21 October 31st, 2013 12:54 PM

    Ahhh Britney! so happy that you got to have such a chilled out party experience. Wish I was there!

  • lexilikes October 31st, 2013 5:02 PM

    I feel exactly the same way about my own writing Katherine. Britney that sounds wonderful!

  • Shanlew November 1st, 2013 1:14 AM

    Naomi I know!! I did the shopping the other day on my own and it was scarrry! I was like “how do people do this every day?”

  • pepperpeanut November 1st, 2013 5:23 PM

    ‘to tire of london is to tire of life.’ – samuel johnson

    it makes me so sad that you’re getting bored in my beautiful city :( please explore some more. go to some vintage markets in brick lane, portobello road ot camden, walk along the southbank at sunset, watch tourists in trafalgar square. there’s so much i’ve yet to see…