I’m sorry to say that things have not been moving very quickly this week. I am not up to speed with my classes, and nothing has progressed except a constant and fluctuating anxiety. My mind is in stasis; when I sit down to write I feel aphasic—like I only know one word, and that is aphasic, and I only know that because I read it in Slouching Towards Bethlehem. This week’s reliefs included finding out that there is a trick to making the water machine in the cafeteria dispense water quickly and without a drawn-out honking noise, experiencing the joy of explaining eggs Benedict to someone who had never heard of it, and kayaking with some first-years from my house on the school’s pond, where I saw five dogs, three of which were cute, and many families, all of which had hot dads. I got pond water—which everyone tells me has E. coli in it—in my mouth and eye and spent the weekend worrying about getting sick, but I am fine. I am not up to speed with my classes or my classmates, though, which is beginning to be not fine. ♦