Dear Diary

September 18, 2013

Is the first week of school fun for anyone?


I’m sorry to say that things have not been moving very quickly this week. I am not up to speed with my classes, and nothing has progressed except a constant and fluctuating anxiety. My mind is in stasis; when I sit down to write I feel aphasic—like I only know one word, and that is aphasic, and I only know that because I read it in Slouching Towards Bethlehem. This week’s reliefs included finding out that there is a trick to making the water machine in the cafeteria dispense water quickly and without a drawn-out honking noise, experiencing the joy of explaining eggs Benedict to someone who had never heard of it, and kayaking with some first-years from my house on the school’s pond, where I saw five dogs, three of which were cute, and many families, all of which had hot dads. I got pond water—which everyone tells me has E. coli in it—in my mouth and eye and spent the weekend worrying about getting sick, but I am fine. I am not up to speed with my classes or my classmates, though, which is beginning to be not fine. ♦


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  • Iin September 18th, 2013 8:06 PM

    Ruby i love you

  • ColoredSoft September 18th, 2013 8:54 PM

    Britney…baby girl, it’s just been your first week. Stay positive!!! I wish someone told me that in all caps: STAY POSITIVE!!!! Also, I wish someone had told me in all caps: BE YOURSELF!!!! These are really important things. If we’re positive, we can go do the things we want and stay rooted when things don’t go well! If we are ourselves, then we are free! You deserve to be free.

  • whyamidreamingwhenimstillawake September 18th, 2013 9:49 PM

    Oh britney… I know exactly how you feel. Sort of like you dont properly exist.
    It sucks so bad.

  • intergalactic fork September 19th, 2013 8:53 AM

    britney!! i love you so much! everything gets better after high school!! you can do this!!

  • thelilacparadox September 19th, 2013 5:54 PM

    First off, OMG RUBY YOU SAW THE PIXIES I AM SO FUCKING JEALOUS. Secondly, can I be friends with all of the diary writers? You’re all amazing beyond belief. Although I’ve never seen a photo of many of you, I feel like I’d find you in a crowded room, easy.

  • speakthroughvision September 19th, 2013 8:31 PM

    Dear Britney,
    My best friend sustained this suffocating position for an entire year before she finally decided to transfer to my school. The high school she moved to provided her with a more accepting group of friends. Though many people tend to be shallow and hide many things about themselves, once you get to know them better, a lot of weird stuff can come out trust me! I think on the surface everyone hides their weirdest sides… the sides they only reserve for close friends. I don’t like it when people are shallow when it comes to relating to me in conversation either, but I’v found that sometimes its because they’re simply not comfortable enough with THEIR deeper sides. Transferring schools won’t necessarily solve the problem… There’s always hope and opportunity. You’ll find friends in unlikely places! Stay open to making friends girl, don’t give up :) <3

  • biankaberta07 September 20th, 2013 5:50 PM

    Britney, this has to be the most relatable article i’ve read in a while!!! you put into word exactly how i feel right now…