Rainy days remind me of the time when I took my first and only piano exam. It was a proper rainy day. Me and mum had to wait in a strange building with creepy corridors and cold floors. I must have had nerves for the exam, and the unfamiliarity of the place gave me an uneasiness, the walls giving off that slight static of unreality I feel sometimes when weather and circumstance conspire to numb the part of my brain that makes sense of things. I can’t even remember what this building, awkward and strange as it felt, was normally used for—except there was an organ in one room, so it must have been a place of worship of some sort. In any case, my nerves didn’t stop me anyway—I got grade 1* distinction in piano.
I have a sore throat and a new haircut. In two weeks I’ll be in London. The temperature will be a few degrees higher down south, a different climate almost. I don’t really care about goodbyes. My brain has moments when it seems to process this impending change, but I wonder if it is better not to think about it and just do it. My nerves don’t need to stop me, and I can get a grade 1 distinction in LIVING LIFE. I hope.
Be the heroine of your life, not the victim. Be the heroine of your life, not the victim. Be the heroine of your life, not the victim.**
Heroine goes to London like she always dreamed of.
Heroine goes to London and finds fulfilment.
Heroine goes to London and is never bored.
Heroine goes to London and finds like-minded people.
Heroine goes to London and studies and learns and reads the most she ever has.
Heroine goes to London and pursues her longest-held goal of studying English at university. ♦
* Grade 1 = like an A.
** This is something my mother once said to me. I think she read it in a Nora Ephron book.