1. Korean spas. Korean spas are actually my favorite thing in the world. I’m not sure what could possibly be better than soaking naked in tea, plunging into icy waters like a salmon, getting your dead skin scrubbed off, and being massaged with milk, honey, and, most of all, love. After my dirtiest, most shameful nights, I go to a Korean spa, scrub the pain away, and walk out a new man.
2. Gold chains. Even though I never wore much jewelry growing up, I was always a silver kind of girl. Something switched around 2010, though, and I started GOING FOR THE GOLD. This was largely due the fact that my best friend, Miles, wears super-cool gold chains all the time. I’ve actually stolen one of his chains, and our family sect on Parenthood has a “chain gang” now. They are so sparkly and delicate, and they make me feel like a damn prince!
3. Driving while listening to loud music. I grew up in Los Angeles, so driving has always been a big part of my life. I spend most of my adult life sitting in traffic, so I had to adopt a new attitude about it. I just got a new hybrid car that I love, and it’s helped me turn those millions of usually wasted hours into zen think-y time! I love wind on skin and sun and night air, so I am basically always riding around top down, a$$ up. The new car has great sound system, so I guess if you see what looks to be the coolest girl you’ve ever seen cruising around the Eastside, it will most likely be me.
4. Snackin’. You’d be hard-pressed to find a moment when I’m not thinking about food. Snackin’ is the best. I dream about certain foods I want to eat, then I wake up and immediately drive to the restaurant that makes it. I eat so much that an ex-boyfriend of mine sincerely asked if I had a tapeworm. Life is for living, and food is for stuffing in my face at an alarming rate. Current faves: sushi, burritos, green juice, my friend Jane’s homemade muesli, and scotch and sodas.
5. Shorts with boots. I dress for comfort—you’ll rarely find me in anything that I couldn’t wear to a spontaneous stretching party. Every time I leave my house I have this overwhelming fear, like, What if today is the day it all goes to shit—the big apocalypse? Do I really want to be wearing a miniskirt and espadrilles as I clod through the forest, fighting off zombies? No. Not worth it. I welcome the elements on my skin (established in factoid #3), so you’ll usually find me in jean shorts, cutoff overalls, or Rachel Antonoff track shorts with my weird one-of-a-kind canvas work boots that I got from a special shop in the Bay Area. PLAN FOR THE WORST, BROS. You’ll thank me when you’re elected leader of your post-societal outlaw gang, simply because people respect your thoughtful choice of footwear.
B-B-B-Bonus Round: Crosswords. I’m so sorry—I couldn’t resist. You will almost never find me without a crossword puzzle on my person. Half-finished Sundays are littered all around various places in my life like wordy security blankets. I get anxious if I don’t have daily access to the New York Times, so I ask my friend to buy one and text a picture to me! I’m not a fan of physical exercise, so crosswords feel like a good way for me to at least keep up a mental workout. ♦