You Asked It

Ask a Grown Man (Live!): Bill Hader

“If a guy doesn’t like a funny girl there’s something wrong with him” and other PEARLS OF WISDOM, live from Rookiefest 2013.

So a couple of weekends ago we threw a party with Urban Outfitters at their gallery/performance venue Space 15 Twenty in Los Angeles. There were cupcakes from Clara Cakes and drinks from Dry Soda and an interview with Rashida Jones and a live set by the Julie Ruin and dancing! And dogs!

One of the best things was a LIVE “Ask a Grown Man.” In case you’re wondering what Bill Hader has been up to since he left Saturday Night Live, now you know: answering teenage girls’ questions about boys. (And starring in The To-Do List with Aubrey Plaza and Clear History with Larry David and Jon Hamm and continuing to write for South Park—but probably mostly he answers teenage girls’ questions about boys.) He’s really good at it, too. See for yourself:

(And watch for some bonus Julie Ruin action at the end!)

Our heartfelt thanks to everyone who made Rookiefest possible, and to Bill Hader for being such a wonderful Grown Man. ♦

If you have a question about boys or girls (or anything!) for next month’s Grown Person, send it to with “Ask a Grown Man” or “Ask a Grown Woman” in the subject line, accordingly. Please include your first name (or nickname or initials), city, and age.


  • kathryn-s August 20th, 2013 3:21 PM

    Ah looks so fun!!! ONE DAY I will make it to a Rookie event if my life depends on it.

  • Chloe22 August 20th, 2013 3:23 PM

    omg so jelly! When are you gonna do a rookie event in (or near) chicago?

  • Ella August 20th, 2013 4:33 PM

    Absolutely AMAZEBALLS!

  • lilyofthevalley August 20th, 2013 4:41 PM

    YOU GOT BILL HADER TO DO AN ASK A GROWN MAN. Rookie is the best. Actually, Bill Hader is.

    • Emmie August 20th, 2013 5:14 PM

      Couldn’t have said it better.

  • thefilmrookie August 20th, 2013 5:05 PM

    Hey thats me in the beginning! I’m the one in the purple flower crown!–

    • thefilmrookie August 20th, 2013 6:30 PM

      ALSO BILL HADER TOLD ME I MADE I GOOD JOKE WHEN I TOLD HIM TO DRIVE OFF THE SANTA MONICA PIER (and my question was the one he answered about what he wished teenage girls knew about teenage boys)

      also my hand is in this a lot just sticking up over the camera hahahaahaha

      • o-girl August 20th, 2013 7:38 PM

        Sarah (I know it’s you, grrrl), that was adorable and super brave of you!! I asked a question once at a Rookie event and yay to having like three different rookie staffers answer it, including Arabelle and Tavi.

  • Logan August 20th, 2013 5:09 PM


  • BabyCthulhu August 20th, 2013 5:54 PM

    Tavi, I love your dress where did you get it?

    • Tavi August 21st, 2013 4:49 AM

      Thank you! It’s by Rachel Antonoff.

      BILL <3

  • orthopedicsaddleshoes August 20th, 2013 6:01 PM

    OMG tavi i love you too damn much
    also, do anyone knows when her speech at that sydney thing is going to be up on youtube?

  • lauraunicorns August 20th, 2013 6:43 PM

    I just love all these people so much (Bill Hader and Tavi together? Too much awesome for one room) and I just wish I could have been there ungh… maybe next time!

  • Janie August 20th, 2013 7:04 PM

    She cut out my question :( Its okay, she caught the moment when he called on me (I’m “blue hair cool”) :DDDDDD

  • Chloe P. August 20th, 2013 8:29 PM

    so bummed we got there late and missed this! but watching the julie ruin perform was such a treat we were so stoked! :)

  • Laia August 20th, 2013 8:53 PM

    bill haderrrr foreverrrrrr.

  • SweetSarahO August 20th, 2013 8:56 PM

    oh fun times :) I loved that day.

  • heartshapedbox August 20th, 2013 9:03 PM

    and aw I really wanted to make it to this but unfortunately, I was out of town :(((

  • lydiamerida August 20th, 2013 10:27 PM

    i want to go to there

  • Meriel August 21st, 2013 1:23 AM

    shout out 2 the one other person in the world named meriel

  • KatGirl August 21st, 2013 12:55 PM

    Ugh…. WHY AM I CANADIAN?! If you had a Canadian event it would probably be in Toronto :(

  • vonnegutcobain August 21st, 2013 3:37 PM

    this looked so much fun! I’m so jealous :(

  • ladyjenna August 21st, 2013 6:11 PM

    Gabriella is that you with your green tipped hair???

    And by the way please come to Texas, preferably austin, if possible

  • dessertstealer August 22nd, 2013 10:52 AM


  • Zoe August 23rd, 2013 9:02 PM

    I’m like 90% sure Rookie knew I had a big crush on Bill Hader and knew my birthday was coming up, and got him to do a Ask a Grown Man FOR ME. Ya’ll are spying on me.

  • purrr August 25th, 2013 11:55 PM


    I wrote a blog post about this event. It’s not the most flattering post, but it’s thought-through and not negative at all (I hope).

    If any introverts or outsiders felt alienated at the event, you should check it out. I think there were a few of us.

    • Tavi August 27th, 2013 4:16 AM

      I’m sorry that you felt that way, if disappointed that you neglected to mention the Julie Ruin playing, the dancing, or the zine making.

      I don’t think it’s fair to have such specific expectations of Rashida’s answers, or to generalize to say it “felt like everyone cared” about her being onstage more than they cared about her answers. We opened up the floor for you to ask your own questions, too, if you were not satisfied with the ones I asked. It’s also not possible to cater an event like that closely enough to know that you like the Simpsons and to get Matt Groening for a Q&A because you are not a fan of Parks and Rec or Freaks and Geeks. That should be obvious.

      Bill is a middle-aged guy who is funny and clever, that’s why he did Ask a Grown Man and not a seminar on feminism. If he was “the friend” in high school, that’s what he was — he didn’t blame girls for not liking him, he seemed to mostly poke fun at himself for falling into that role. He was speaking lightheartedly about his own experience. But thank you for acknowledging that the nature of that segment doesn’t exactly allow for intervening.

      It was easier to make every individual feel included on the road trip because we had a group of people there besides me: Anaheed, Hazel, Petra, and Petra’s sister and boyfriend came along and also talked to people. Those events often entailed going out for ice cream or shopping or DIY’ing with a group of 30 girls. For bigger events, like the crafting we did at the Vera Project in Seattle or the Strange Magic events at 1520, we had more staffers and more help from the venues. For this event, we had over 100 guests, and the only staffer there besides me was Lauren, whose job was to run the show. (Marie was there, but not as part of the lineup or anything.) I tried to talk to as many people as I could and had a good time dancing with some girls and tried to make people feel welcome, but we can’t be held responsible for a culture of people coming to our events to network and tumblr and Steve Buscemi and glitter. We have actually never identified ourselves as a website or host for outsiders, our tagline is strictly “a website for teenage girls.” I know we have a colorful aesthetic but we use the site and books and events to bring substance to that.

      I found Rashida’s answers substantial, she identified as a feminist and talked about racism and sexism in the movie industry. She talked about love and her teen years and her family. I also think the Julie Ruin gave a meaningful performance, Kathleen talked and sang about wanting to create change. I’m not sure how much substance we were supposed to cram into a few hours of a fun summer event.

  • kca0 September 8th, 2013 7:30 PM

    Must attend a rookiefest!!