You Asked It

Ask a Grown Man: Vampire Weekend

How porn is like baseball, why romance should never lead to murder, and other wisdom from two of the giggliest bros we’ve ever met.

Vampire Weekend have been the soundtrack of at least five of your summers, and in May they released Modern Vampires of the City to go for a sixth. The band is currently on tour in the UK and the States, and frontman Ezra Koenig and bassist Chris Baio set aside some time on the tour bus to giggle adorably while doling out advice on porn, staying friends with an ex, and how to ask out your crush.

If you have a question for next month’s Grown Person, please send it to youaskedit@rookiemag.com with “Ask a Grown Man” or “Ask a Grown Woman” in the subject line, accordingly. Please include your name (or nickname), city, and age.

97 Comments

  • martaosbourne July 16th, 2013 3:03 PM

    It says this is a private video!!

    • Danielle July 16th, 2013 3:15 PM

      Hi Marta!
      I’m able to see it, and all of the settings are public; can you refresh your browser to see if that works?

      • martaosbourne July 16th, 2013 3:24 PM

        I can see it now
        Thanks!!

  • llouisianimall July 16th, 2013 3:15 PM

    they are soooooo adorable

  • kmhrt July 16th, 2013 3:22 PM

    YES

  • disast3rology July 16th, 2013 3:31 PM

    I WAS SITING ON MY ITKCHEN COUNTER WHEN ISAW THIS AND I FREAKING FELL OFF ONTO THE FLOOR OH MY GOD IM SCREAMING AND THERE ARE RTEEARS FALLINNG FROM MY EYEBALLS I LOVE EVERYTHNG OH MY GOD VAMPIRE WEEKEND AND ROOKIE

    davidarrowie.tumblr.com

    OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD GUYS IM FREAKING OUT

  • Ella W July 16th, 2013 3:43 PM

    I love the ask a grown man feature!
    It was really weird and funny when they said that American people are often timid and don’t express their emotions, as in England, the stereotype of Americans is that they are really outgoing and not very reserved or anything. I suppose I should know that stereotypes are never true, but still, weird!

    http://gorillalegs.blogspot.co.uk/

  • leawhtvr July 16th, 2013 3:48 PM

    oh my GOD YES I LVOE THEM S O MCUH IM LIKE CRYING

  • Lulli July 16th, 2013 3:54 PM

    OMG OMG OMG OMG YES! THANK YOU ROOKIE

  • AliceinWonderland July 16th, 2013 3:59 PM

    EZRA AND CRHIS OMG ADLKFA IM CRYING I LOVE THEM SO AMUCH AKDFEJNVI NADJN;VNNA AS;FWE;INVASDV I HAVENT EVEN SEEN THE VDIEO YET BUTADJKF;AWE

  • Chloe C July 16th, 2013 4:02 PM

    This is the best thing ever

    ever

    ever

    ever

    thank you, thank you, thank you

    http://spectaclar.blogspot.com

  • hoflan July 16th, 2013 4:02 PM

    I can now die happy oh my gosh.

  • Eryn July 16th, 2013 4:09 PM

    I nearly screamed when i saw the title!!!!
    Oh my goodness I love this, they’re so cute zomg i’m still freaking out

  • heyashes July 16th, 2013 4:09 PM

    Rookie Mag + Vampire Weekend. I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MY WHOLE LIFE.

  • Lorf96 July 16th, 2013 4:17 PM

    Baaa! Vampire Weekend, these guys are sooo cool! Rookie how do you do this?:DXx

  • Jesss July 16th, 2013 4:18 PM

    I AM GOING TO DIE THIS IS MY 2 FAVE THINGS COMBINED

    • hoflan July 16th, 2013 6:50 PM

      SAMESAMESAMESAMESAMESAME.

    • katrinajennifer July 16th, 2013 8:51 PM

      WOW THIS IS THE EXACT SAME REACTION I HAD OMG

    • farawayfaerie July 17th, 2013 3:53 PM

      LIKE A DINNER PARTY

  • Galadriel July 16th, 2013 4:26 PM

    im so in love with them

  • all-art-is-quite-useless July 16th, 2013 4:27 PM

    oh my gOD VAMPIRE WEEKEND I LOVE VAMPIRE WEEKEND

    i saw rookie’s tweet about this on the twitter app on my phone and i literally ran upstairs to my laptop. rookie, you always get the best people.

  • Adrienne July 16th, 2013 4:29 PM

    OH MY GOD ROOKIE YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!!! Vampire Weekend is my favorite band!!!

  • fayasi July 16th, 2013 4:29 PM

    OH MY GOD YES YES YES YES! I’ve been hoping for this for the longest time!

    Thank you, Rookie!

    - Fay

  • Ilona July 16th, 2013 4:33 PM

    THANK YOU SO MUCH ROOKIE I am in eternal debt to you for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • freckledwallflower July 16th, 2013 4:35 PM

    holy shit this is literally the best thing ever. ezra <3

  • aidee July 16th, 2013 4:39 PM

    I PRAYED FOR THIS

  • maddie123 July 16th, 2013 4:40 PM

    I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THE TITLE OMG
    I have been waiting so long for Rookie to do something with Vampire Weekend, considering they are my FAVORITE BAND EVER (besides The Beatles, obvi)
    I’m pretty sure this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me
    Now, all you have to do is add some of their music to your playlists! *hint hint* :)

  • lyssagrltx July 16th, 2013 4:41 PM

    I FREAKED WHEN I SAW THIS, THANKS!!!!!

  • AliceinWonderland July 16th, 2013 4:42 PM

    my biggest regret is not having submitted questions because I COULD’VE HAD MY QUESTIONS ANSWERED BY EZRA AND CHRIS WAAAAH

  • anustart July 16th, 2013 5:02 PM

    i am dying this is really great :’)

    • kathryn-s July 16th, 2013 5:14 PM

      A+ username, ANUSTART.

      • Manda July 16th, 2013 7:03 PM

        That gag alone MADE season 4 worth it, so I applaud you, anustart

    • Marian July 18th, 2013 10:23 PM

      I think i just “blue” myself because your username is so amazing!

  • Whatsername July 16th, 2013 5:06 PM

    I CANNOT EVEN FATHOM HOW AMAZING THIS IS OMFG
    EZZY 4 PREZZY

  • unicornconnect July 16th, 2013 5:06 PM

    VAMPIRE WEEKENDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!

  • kikikaylen July 16th, 2013 5:33 PM

    My thoughts when I saw this on Facebook: “I think I just died and went to heaven.” So much love for Vampire Weekend, this is great!

  • Abby July 16th, 2013 5:40 PM

    YOU GUYS. I am actually dying though.

  • kendallkh July 16th, 2013 5:47 PM

    i…..love…..vampire….weekend……..so……..much

    rookie………………………thank you

  • raisinbrancy July 16th, 2013 6:01 PM

    WHAT THE HIP HAP I WAS SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT THIS WHOLE TIME EZRA AND BAIO ARE MY FAVES THANKS ROOKIE. Everything vampire weekend does makes my stomach feel squishy and this is no exception HDOLNSZNHD what a wonderful collaboration between my two favourite things

  • ghoststakepolaroids July 16th, 2013 6:20 PM

    *ROLLS OUT OF NEAREST WINDOW*

    OMFG I CANT I WAS ACTUALLY LISTENING TO THEM THEN I GO ON ROOKIE AND RTHERE THEY ARE I CANT RIGHT NOW OK
    AGHGHGHGHGHGH

  • queenofnothing July 16th, 2013 7:04 PM

    OMG I CAN’T THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME!!!
    I had such a shitty day and then I saw this and now I’m smiling like a stupid because I love these guys so much! Rookie mag + Vampire Weekend is like the best thing ever. Thanks for this!!!

  • Sophie ❤ July 16th, 2013 7:17 PM

    Rookie, you never stop MAKING ME HAPPY!
    THANK YOU SO SO SO SO SO much!

    http://plainlysophie.com
    http://guessip.wordpress.com

  • heartshapedbox July 16th, 2013 7:24 PM

    I AM TOTALLY FREAKING OUT RIGH NOW MUST NOT SCREAM

  • MissKnowItAll July 16th, 2013 8:11 PM

    THIS IS ACTUALLY THE BEST THING EVER AND I SAW THIS WHILE I WAS SITTING ON THE WASHING MACHINE AND I FELL OFF AND NOW I’M LYING ON THE COLD HARD GROUND AND CRYING BC EZRA

  • BubblegumBitch July 16th, 2013 8:33 PM

    UGhh thank you Rookie for this, Ezra is so adorable he is like my favorite person ever

  • Bridget July 16th, 2013 8:44 PM

    wOW I LOGGED ON TO SEE VAMPIRE WEKEND THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER ILY ROOKIE THANKS 4 THIS ILY BAIO N EZRA

  • katrinajennifer July 16th, 2013 8:51 PM

    AH I’M HAVING THE SAME REACTION AS EVERYONE ELSE THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER AND SERIOUSLY MADE MY DAY. WOW I FEEL LIKE CRYING I’M SO HAPPY! ROOKIE + VAMPIRE WEEKEND = MY FAVORITE THINGS EVER COMBINED. OMG EZRA & BAIO ily ♡

  • clarekawaii July 16th, 2013 9:00 PM

    OPENING ROOKIE TO EZRAS FCE IS THE BEST WAKING UP SURPRISE EVER

    ily rookie

  • insteadofanelephant July 16th, 2013 9:02 PM

    this has to be my favorite feature on rookie. very cool!!

    instead of an elephant

  • Cruicked July 16th, 2013 9:08 PM

    OH MY GOD. I LOVE VAMPIRE WEEKEND SO MUCH. I’M GOING TO SEE THEM LIVE IN NOVEMBER IN GLASGOW. I’M SO EXCITED. I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT I’M USING ALL CAPS. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. THEIR MUSIC MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. EZRA AND BAIO! ON ROOKIE! I’M SO HAPPY. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. ROOKIE HAD A SEVERE VAMPIRE WEEKEND DEFICIENCY B4 THIS. THANKS ROOKIE. ILY VAMPIRE WEEKEND.

  • decemberflower July 16th, 2013 9:22 PM

    They are THE CUTEST.

  • HollinsCollins July 16th, 2013 9:50 PM

    Haven’t watched it yet but I SAW IT ON THE HOMEPAGE AND FREAKKKKED OUTTT

  • connie. July 16th, 2013 10:04 PM

    I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life. Ezra bby ilysm let’s get down at the p-i-z-z-a p-r-t-y

  • littlebirdmo July 16th, 2013 10:09 PM

    OMGGG THANK YOU ROOKIE

  • Adrienne July 16th, 2013 10:42 PM

    commenting again but…. WOW I LOVE HOW THERE ARE SO MANY VW FANS ON ROOKIE <3333 THIS MAKES ME SUPER HAPPY!!

  • Unicorn Heels July 16th, 2013 11:14 PM

    I JUST WANNA TUCK THEM IN MY POCKET AND BRING THEM EVERYWHERE WITH ME.

    http://bluejadepress.blogspot.com

  • artobsessed July 16th, 2013 11:27 PM

    NOO. EZRA BEING CUTER AND FUNNIER?
    i am dead.

  • vonnegutcobain July 17th, 2013 12:23 AM

    OMG!! I LOVE VW

  • Mira July 17th, 2013 1:26 AM

    gonna join in on all the caps WOAH ALMOST FELL OFF THE BED WHEN I SAW VW

    but as a suggestion for the next ask a grown man Matthew Grey Gubler plzzz

    • trixie-scout July 18th, 2013 8:13 AM

      ohmigodohmigodohmigod can you please ask Matthew Gray Gubler? That would pretty much make my life.
      AND YES – VAMPIRE WEEKEND!!!!!! EZRA I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK. AND MORE AFTER THAT. <3

  • Frannie Lou July 17th, 2013 1:44 AM

    omfg this is a dream come true ALL OF MY MOST FAVORITE THINGS IN LIFE ARE UNITED FLAWLESSLY IN THIS SINGLE VIDEO HELP

  • raisinbrancy July 17th, 2013 3:24 AM

    THIS IS THE HAPPIEST I’VE EVER BEEN. WE’RE ALL UNITED FOR A SINGLE CAUSE AND THAT CAUSE IS HOT MAN FACE AND EZRA AND BAIO GIGGLES. I LOVE THAT THERES SO MANY VW FANS ON ROOKIE EVERYHINGS FALLING INTO PLACE LIKE A REALLY BEAUTIFUL JEWISH JIGSAW PUZzle. IEISNXIDISAJ¿

    • farawayfaerie July 17th, 2013 5:17 PM

      ^best comment

      • Cruicked July 18th, 2013 9:50 AM

        That really is an excellent comment. I didn’t know there were so many VW fans who are rookie readers! This is so awesome.

  • Emilyis July 17th, 2013 3:40 AM

    This was too adorable for words.

  • Valerie Violet July 17th, 2013 3:51 AM

    THIS IS SO GREAT OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO CUTE YES YES YES this made my day

  • AClementine July 17th, 2013 5:42 AM

    When I saw this… :O YESSSSS happiness!

  • meriely July 17th, 2013 8:52 AM

    Ohmygaaaaaawd this is just the best combination of anything ever. Rookie, I will love you forever and ever and ever amen.

  • soviet_kitsch July 17th, 2013 10:18 AM

    oh whoops i have a huge crush on ezra koenig now

    • Danielle July 17th, 2013 10:28 AM

      Right?! Me too. A little. Okay a lot.

  • fromanotherearth July 17th, 2013 11:50 AM

    ohMYgOD THIS WAS GREAT <3 I REALLy ENJOY VAMPIRE WEEKEND & rOOKIE WHAT A BEAUTIFUL COMBINATION

  • effy July 17th, 2013 12:00 PM

    This is seriously the best I love vampire weekend so much. Baio is the cutest and Ezra I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you. See you in November <3

  • vvk97 July 17th, 2013 12:06 PM

    Nutella and graham crackers
    Ben Folds and Regina Spektor
    Rookie and Vampire Weekend
    Some combinations are too perfect to exist <3
    "Baseball is like porn" thanks Ezra

  • Alex S. July 17th, 2013 1:17 PM

    bless this post and them and Rookie

  • Ana July 17th, 2013 3:16 PM

    Fantastic

  • Ibe. July 17th, 2013 5:05 PM

    OMG OMG OMG EZRA OMG OMG OMG

  • heyshea July 17th, 2013 5:57 PM

    ahhhhh this is waay too great!

  • parlamode July 17th, 2013 6:16 PM

    Aaaaaaarhhhh ma god, I love this band I haven’t even watched this yet but know this is gonna be the best

  • Tambourelle July 17th, 2013 7:59 PM

    Aaaahh they did this on my birthday!!! What a wonderful present! Whenever I watch the ask a grown man vidz, I always hope that one day Vampire Weekend would do 1.

    Looool when Ezra was like ‘Really? What do you like about her? What about me?’ The face he pulled gahhh sooo funny! xx

  • Pearl July 17th, 2013 9:26 PM

    OMG EZRA!!!! VAMPIRE WEEKEND MEANS SO MUCH TO ME & NOW THEY’RE ON ROOKIE! ASDFGGHHJJJKLL

  • mando July 17th, 2013 10:48 PM

    AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
    my heart fails to adequately handle the harmonious and sensational union that is Rookie Mag and Vampire Weekend

    sooo… Zach Condon and Beirut next? :)

  • Mariana July 17th, 2013 10:58 PM

    OH MY GOD!!! I REALLY LOVE “ASK A GROWN MAN” BUT WHEN I SAW “VAMPIRE WEEKEND” I ALMOST CRIED.
    They are so cute, I love it COMPLETELY

  • irismonster July 18th, 2013 2:33 AM

    ahhhhh.

  • Savannah P. July 18th, 2013 4:35 AM

    VAMPIRE WEEKEND!!!! <3 <3

  • Grethe July 18th, 2013 9:31 AM

    Loooove them! :D <3 <3

  • meels July 18th, 2013 1:45 PM

    ohhhh myyyy gaaaaaaawwwd

  • barbroxursox July 18th, 2013 11:31 PM

    Eucneiurgfnwoiekfw EZRA KOENIG <3 <3 <3 CHRIS BAIO <3 <3 <3 this is the greatest thing on rookie ever! :D
    The only thing that would make this better is if Rostam and other Chris were in it!

  • Jaw Jar July 19th, 2013 8:17 AM

    Oh Ezra i love you so.

  • julalondon July 19th, 2013 2:54 PM

    This is perfection. They are perfection. Rookie is perfection.

  • ♡ reba ♡ July 19th, 2013 5:58 PM

    LOVE LOVE LOVE SO MUCH LOVE

  • crookedbangs July 19th, 2013 6:37 PM

    Squealing aside, Ezra and Chris gave really sound, articulate, and helpful advice. I’m in my late-twenties and I anxiously await each “Ask a Grown Man” video, because the human condition is fascinating at any age.

  • thatchocoholic July 21st, 2013 5:14 AM

    THEIR ACCENTS OMG <3333333333333333333333333333

  • Daisybell August 17th, 2013 9:19 AM

    Sweet. If in doubt “go for it”!

  • mymomisannoying September 5th, 2013 1:32 PM

    4ever the best thing on the internet

  • Wallcott September 8th, 2013 4:13 PM

    The amount of times I’ve watched this is embarrassing omg. But they’re all such angels. Bless them. (✿◠‿◠)