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Saturday Links: Hanging With Paris Edition

Pictures of Hilton’s enormous house and tiny dogs, a new book trailer featuring a mysterious panda, names of actual places that sound like they’re in Middle-earth, and more revelations courtesy of the internet.


The Bling Ring finally came out, as did these photos of Paris Hilton at home, which, like the movie, are by Sofia Coppola. I want Paris’s dogs.

IN KIMYE NEWS, Kanye’s new album, Yeezus, was released and a bunch of smart ladies (including two of Rookie’s own, Jessica and Julianne) talked about it. And Entertainment Weekly has a quiz: Yeezus lyric or Lucille Bluth quote? Personally, I’ve yet to listen, mostly because I don’t want to move on from My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, which I listen to at least once a week. But I’ll get there. Also, ugh, just being a person with an online internet website makes me feel obligated to tell you that Kim Kardashian had her baby, NORTH, even though you probably already know and don’t care.

Finally: We love you too, writing staff of Bob’s Burgers.



Did you know that if you translate the names of places on a world map into English, it sounds like we live in Middle-earth? Some really cool cartographers painstakingly translated the names of hundreds of countries, states, cities, and more and came up with a wonderful atlas of fantastical-sounding places. Turns out I hail from the Land of the Beautiful River (Ohio), and I’m writing this from Marsh Farm (a surprisingly accurate name for Washington D.C.). Some places have names with beautiful meanings—Mexico is “Navel of the Moon”—and some are just funny. Chicago means “Stink Onions”!

I don’t know much about the Hulk, but I do enjoy parody Twitter accounts, and the all-caps “HULK SMASH!”-style quote is perfect for Twitter’s 140-character limit. Salon just gathered up their favorite seven Hulk parodies (and there are way more Hulk Twitter accounts than that), including Feminist Hulk, Film Crit Hulk, and Editor Hulk, and some of their tweets made me laugh way more than is reasonable: “FIRST THEY WANT EVIDENCE OF BIRTH! NOW EVIDENCE OF DEATH! IT LIKE INTERNET JUST LEARN ABOUT EXISTENTIALISM!” @DRUNKHULK



This week it was revealed that Food Network star Paula Deen said some really offensive stuff a while back. If you are a devoted FN viewer like myself, this news may have left you feeling confused and angry. (You wouldn’t be alone—the network announced yesterday that they’re dropping her shows.) To deal with my emotions, I reread Megan Amram’s satirical Paula Deen’s Health Food Cookbook, but no amount of butter can hide the ugliness of racism.


So, somewhere between the disclosure of Paula Deen’s on-the-record racism and her getting fired, she posted this video to YouTube, in which she apologizes for what she’d said…or does she? She never actually says what she’s apologizing for (instead referring mysteriously to “the wrong” and “the mistakes that I’ve made”); she never apologizes to the people who are hurt by racism but instead begs forgiveness from “my children, my team, my fans, my partners”; and instead of displaying true change or humility she just says she wants “to learn and grow from this.” OK! Good luck.

The sad truth is that real apologies are exceedingly rare, especially from people in the public eye—probably because it’s really hard to admit you were wrong, to reveal your own fallibility, no matter who you are, but I imagine that if you’re used to being alternately worshiped and ripped to shreds on a daily basis it’s even harder. Which is what makes what Patton Oswalt wrote on his website last weekend truly remarkable. In the yearlong rape-joke discussion that’s been brewing across the internet, Oswalt consistently and indiscriminately defended any and all comedy (understandable) and—bafflingly for someone so smart—dismissed arguments that mocking rape victims contributes to rape culture (a thing he DIDN’T BELIEVE EXISTED). Last week he went back and reread a bunch of the stuff that he had knee-jerk-ily disagreed with, and…he changed his mind. And so he did the right thing: He admitted he was wrong, and he apologized—really apologized: “I had my viewpoint, and it was based on solid experience, and it…was…fucking…wrong.” Read the whole thing here.

On one hand I don’t want to start handing out medals to dudes who display just like THE NORMAL AMOUNT OF COMMON SENSE THAT A HUMAN BEING SHOULD HAVE; on the other, isn’t changing minds the whole point of activism? On the other other, I would like to hand out medals to Lindy West, Molly Knefel, and our very own Sady Doyle for being three of the women whose patient, nuanced, brilliant writing helped Patton Oswalt—and who knows how many others?—finally understand.



Because I love books even more than movies (well, most movies), I think book trailers are Literally the Best Thing Ever. On Wednesday, I was really excited to see the trailer for one of my most anticipated summer readsThe Theory of Everything by Kari Luna—premiere at MTV.com. Based on what I’ve seen so far, the story involves physics, ’80s music, and PANDAS! The trailer is super adorable, and now I’m even more psyched for the book. Seriously, what is the deal with the pandas? I have to know!



If I were to make a grossly unscientific estimate, I would say maybe 24 percent of high school yearbook quotes are secret messages—whether they’re cryptic personal affairs or inside jokes between you and your friends. Graduating senior Jessica Lee, above, took secret yearbook codes to another level by sending a special shout-out to fans of both chemistry AND rap music by spelling out a Notorious B.I.G. catchphrase via the periodic table of elements. Colorlines calls her “America’s Most Gangsta High School Nerd,” and I’m not gonna disagree.

The Brooklyn-based rapper Nitty Scott MC just released a new video for her song “Flower Child,” featuring Kendrick Lamar, and it is a total dreamfest of a woozy garden party. Nitty raps about how she’s a bohemian blossom who’s tough and needs all her suitors to respect her. She looks gorgeous in kaleidoscopic bathtub shots and in a long white maxidress and a flower crown (though as a fellow Brooklynite I am slightly worried about her walking around shoeless). It’s the perfect clip to get you hyped for post-solstice humidity, and you can watch it here:



I’m really loving the Reconstructionists, a yearlong project that celebrates influential women. The artist Lisa Congdon and Brain Pickings’ Maria Popova have collaborated to shine a light on so many amazing and wonderful people through watercolor images and interesting facts; some of my favorites have been Aung San Suu Kyi, Marie Curie, Frida Kahlo, Lynda Barry, and Sister Rosetta Tharpe, above. I could spend hours on this site.


This week, Jezebel posted this short video about a gay couple that took advantage of a loophole in a law that, prior to France’s legalization of same-sex marriage in May, allowed same-sex French couples to be married by Belgian mayors. It made me cry, cry, cry, and I think it will make you cry, cry, cry, too. Marriage equality for all!

Suzy X.


It’s about time gender-fluid fashion stepped off the runways and into the streets. This week, Colorlines profiled independent designers who blur the lines between traditional menswear and women’s wear through practical, everyday fashion. By tailoring even the most classic styles to fit a diversity of body types, they’re opening up possibilities for people to explore their own gender expressions outside the often abstract fashion world. While some of these snazzy styles are pricey and/or limited to online boutiques, hopefully these designers will inspire others to follow suit and think outside the box(es).

TV shows like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant have done nothing to lessen the societal shame that comes down on young mothers; it’s still easy to treat teen pregnancies as anomalies that have everything to do with one individual’s (bad) decision. Gloria Malone offers a more in-depth analysis by blogging about her own experiences as a teen mom in a rural, low-income community. This week at RH Reality Check, she starts with the popular question “How did you become a teen mom?” Her answer lists a number of factors—including a lack of education and access to birth control—that contributed to her young pregnancy. Malone also asks another question: What are people doing right now to educate and empower young people to make safe, informed decisions about sex? ♦


  • heartshapedbox June 22nd, 2013 2:22 PM

    omg that photo of Paris is angelic.

  • FloralShorts June 22nd, 2013 3:10 PM

    In my hometown there’s a neighborhood with Lord of the Rings street names. Stuff like Hobbit Ct, Tolkein Ln, Hillshire Dr, Anduin Terr, Rivendell Ct, Rivendell Rd, etc.

    • Princess Mononoke June 22nd, 2013 7:19 PM

      Your hometown is awesome.

      • whyamidreamingwhenimstillawake July 7th, 2013 6:10 AM

        Your username is awesome. Ghibli ftw!

  • MabelEnchanted June 22nd, 2013 5:42 PM

    I love that photo shoot of Paris Hilton by Sofia Coppola. Her essence is captured so well.


  • Sophie ❤ June 22nd, 2013 5:55 PM

    Tavi- so glad you’re back! I LOVED this.. especially the title since I’m from Paris ;)


  • Abby June 22nd, 2013 10:42 PM


  • Mimi7 June 22nd, 2013 10:58 PM

    Great links this week! I usually am annoyed by Paris Hilton, but her AMAZING dress makes me actually like that picture (that and Sofia Coppola’s way of making things pretty). Plus the panda for the book-into-movie trailer is so cute :)


  • elliecp June 23rd, 2013 4:33 AM

    Love these links, Paris is looking so cute!


  • Gwendolen June 23rd, 2013 5:43 AM

    Those pictures of Paris are amazing! I really love her dress in the top picture… Although some of the slightly ditzy comments she made means I don’t have to feel too inadequate ;)


  • Eileen June 23rd, 2013 5:50 AM

    I loved Anaheed’s. This is why ”flip- flopping” shouldn’t be looked down on in politics, its evolving your thoughts, and being open to change. These head-strong fat cats are blocking the arteries of the American system.


  • itsaoifedahling June 23rd, 2013 8:48 AM

    That same sex marriage video made me cry. Even as a straight person, it completely baffles me that two people who love each other are not allowed get married. I hope this changes soon <3
    Also loved Nitty Scott MC's video, had never heard of her before but will def look her up. Amazing lyrics
    Aoife xx

  • hannaht June 23rd, 2013 1:29 PM

    I love you Rookie, you are making the internet a much better place for girls.

  • takebackyourpower June 23rd, 2013 4:34 PM

    i know commentors don’t normally post their own links but i was struck by this convo over at Tomboy Style about cultural appropriation.

  • Wisteria June 23rd, 2013 10:40 PM

    So far I have lived in New Yew Tree, Northern land of Friends, Land toward which the Sea Flows, Land of the Cloudy Water, Mountainous Land, and Light on the Mountains.

  • thenoisythinker June 24th, 2013 5:28 AM

    I can’t wait to see The Bling Ring! Paris Hilton looks adorable and really friendly. I feel like people have to stop stereotyping her as a “dumb blonde” because they’ll never know, she’s probably a genuine, sweet and smart person. Oh, and I adore book trailers too! Loved this post, Rookie x


  • kathryn-s June 24th, 2013 9:02 PM

    I hail from the Land of Cloudy Water.

  • wissycosh June 24th, 2013 10:39 PM

    Julianne, your link to- ‘Meet America’s Most Gangsta High School Nerd’ puts her as a genius type, (as she is using the periodic table in a creative and innovative commentary-type-way). The link states her as ‘awesome’ and ‘the best thing ever’. I understand it as in fact- very witty in a sense that; high school kids will go on to work and study so it’s a ‘fuck you’ type genius comment to the world that KIDS CAN RULE. I admire that. And I know you mean no harm. I couldnt shake this- I woke up in the middle of the night thinking how problematic this is being on the same page after Tavi’s top link to Kanye’s fem bashing. Biggie has been a long standing misogynist in my eyes- all he rapped about were women as possessions and fucking them very hard until he was fixated. All the while Kanye get’s a rather prized condescending misogynist bashing. Is Biggie’s misogyny more accepted from the feminist realm because he is dead?

  • hellocat June 25th, 2013 10:13 AM

    Why the fliiiip would they cancel Paula Deen’s shows? So much judgement going on, it’s pissin me OFF! First of all, this whole issue shouldn’t be getting as much press as it is because the world is in need of more things that aren’t getting the attention. Also, it’s really easy to blame all of racism and these issues on a white women with diabetes. But it’s also a pretty bad idea because Paula Deen is not the cause of racism, and she’s got some emotions too, and her life and career is totally ruined now! Agh! This makes me so mad, how the media just uses certain things and blows them up and then people get screwed and mixed messages are sent out and what are we supposed to do with them? Just stop trying to make so much darn money press. Sheeeeesh!!!

    • Tavi June 25th, 2013 12:25 PM

      I don’t feel that bad for her at all and I’m glad people are talking about it. I don’t think it’s just to attract readers.

      • hellocat June 29th, 2013 6:44 PM

        Yeah, I think there’s something to be said though about why it’s such a big deal. I mean, shouldn’t we just be laughing at how ridiculous it is? I think more subtle racism is the bigger issue.

  • baex3 June 25th, 2013 2:59 PM

    Honestly, how many southern women in their late sixties haven’t used racial slurs in their lifetime? It was apart of the culture that they grew up in, Paula deserves none of this.

  • thatchocoholic June 27th, 2013 12:05 PM


    ‘Flower Child’ is amazing and the same sex marriage in France video was ultimately the sweetest thing EVER.


    -Hannah <3

  • missfemme14 July 12th, 2013 1:49 PM

    That bowtie…. oh god I want that bowtie!