Dear Diary

June 19, 2013

Where do we go from here?


My parents went on a trip and I’ve spent the week at home without them. Not much has changed except I killed my mom’s basil plant forgetting to water it and I possibly gained some weight. The latter I’m not sure about because I would never weigh myself with the family scale because it says “THINNER” on it and I’m grossed out by that. Every time I go to the doctor the person weighing me is like, “Wow…you hide it well, though,” wayyyy condescendingly. I would never tell someone about to stick a needle in me to fuck off, so I just roll my eyes and don’t acknowledge it further. I don’t know if they think that’s a compliment, but I kind of have a problem with people who mean to compliment or help you and end up being the worst. You all suck no matter your intention, suckbutts. Weighing is a lie and McFlurries are the only truth in the world.

Actually a concern is that I feel my muscles are atrophying. I was walking around my old college’s campus a few days ago and my legs felt slow to respond to my brain’s message to GET MOVING and I was like, “Hey, have my muscles atrophied?” I asked my dad to print out a schedule for yoga classes at the Y near my house. I’m against getting fit, but I might do this because I’m afraid of my muscles turning to goo and because I once tried yoga in high school and I liked it. It made me feel like a cat but also forced me to (unsuccessfully) confront my fear of handstands and forward rolls. In middle school I faked a hurt neck to justify my tears over having to do a forward roll in class. I was sent to the nurse’s office where I was given a Tums and some ice and dismissed. (Our school nurse would give you Tums first thing, no matter what you came in with.) If I wimp out in the real world no one will even give me inappropriate medications; I’ll just have to face my shame alone.

In other news, I watched I Know What You Did Last Summer and Scream 2 and became infatuated with Sarah Michelle Gellar’s mouth, so I’m watching Buffy whenever I have something I should be doing. There is something about the way it moves when she’s upset and talking, and the way she purses her lips together when she’s determined, that captivates me. Also, I’m also ready to move to Toronto because I think I could be legitimate BFFs with this guy named Juan from the MTV Canada show 1 Girl 5 Gays, something I wasn’t interested in because I thought it would be five gay men giving a woman fashion advice or something horrible like that, but I was happy to learn that it’s a talk show where one woman asks five gay men 20 questions, prompting discussion. I’m #blessed by this show because of cast members like Juan. Although he’s not the smartest on the show (Dean) or the funniest (JP), Juan has major charisma. And I know we would have at least one subject to talk about because he cried when he met Sarah Jessica Parker. He also owns 36 Barbra Streisand records, and although I don’t know much about Streisand, that part in Funny Girl where Fanny meets Nick Arnstein and sings his name holds a special place in my heart. Juan could show me more Streisand moments before we discuss the complexity of Sex and the City and then who knows what else?!!! ♦


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  • Sophie ❤ June 19th, 2013 7:07 PM

    Naomi, Ruby, and Briteny: I so feel you guys (also Katherine)! It is amazing how you basically read the minds of Rookie readers ( even though the “send in your stuff” probably has a lot to do with it). Anyways, great job- these we’re really fun to read!



  • EmilyJn June 19th, 2013 7:30 PM

    College is generally British for the last two years of school (also known as sixth form college) and not ‘high school’. Secondary school (ages 11 to 18) would be a close translation to high school I suppose, although in America that would include middle school. Sorry to be so pedantic! The terms used differ from school to school here so it’s difficult. Some places even use the american ‘high school’ wording’

    Anyway, I thought finishing sixth form would be a huge relief too and I would get to do all these fun things and relax but then I got a sucky summer job cleaning dishes for 8 hours a day for minimum wage. :c

  • MaddsBeMe June 19th, 2013 7:48 PM

    Awww Naomi!!! I’m so happy for you.

    Katherines diary this week is perfect, ” McFlurries are the only truth in the world” is now my life motto, plus 1 girl 5 gays is the best show ever, juan and dean and everyone and all the drama!! Uggh I cannot deal or explain my love for that show

  • Tiger June 19th, 2013 7:58 PM

    Britney, did prom happen arleady? how was it?

    • Britney June 19th, 2013 8:14 PM

      It’s tomorrow! I’ll tell you guys how it goes in the next entry!

  • pubertyblues June 19th, 2013 8:11 PM

    this was beautifully written, and very, very true. wish you and your boy the best of luck

  • Unicorn Heels June 19th, 2013 8:11 PM

    I hate talking about weight because of HOW PEOPLE TREAT IT.

    For sailing weight is a big topic because it’s makes a difference in the game (No weight is beneficial, just different to sail). And it could be a healthy, regular topic. However, if you say you’re light for your boat, people always are like AWW YOU’RE SO LUCKY. No, it just means they have to work harder. If it were discussed in a better way, people could actually work on how it effects sailing. It’s actually pretty cool on a psychical level.

    I wish people could talk about weight with more sense.

    Also, I loved all of them. As always.

    <3 Unicorn

  • Conana June 19th, 2013 8:15 PM

    Katherine’s diary is so funny!! “McFlurries are the only truth in the world” I think I’ll make a tee with that quote hahaha (no, srsly).

    And I loved in Ruby’s diary when she talks about Sam!! I wish I felt that way about someone…

  • Kourtney June 19th, 2013 8:18 PM

    Katherine, I love you LOL. I believe McFlurries are the only truth too. And I LOOOVE 1 girl 5 gays omg Dean and David and Ish are so perfectt I love that show!

    As I was reading Ruby’s diary, I noticed the background pic on the site, was the inside of a tent. I was pleased by the coincidence.

    I love rookie

  • Penny Dreadful June 19th, 2013 8:26 PM

    Just thought I’d pop by and say that, not only are all of these entries fantastic, but Ruby: yours resonated the most with me because it puts in to words what I can’t about my best friend. It’s really a beautiful entry (as well as them all!).

  • Eryn June 19th, 2013 8:41 PM

    Naomi, your entry was so beautiful! Caitlin, I adore your illustration as always. Britney, Ruby and Katherine, I love you all! <3

  • Rebdomine June 19th, 2013 11:40 PM

    Ruby, I did Relay for Life as well! But ours happened in April lol.

  • 3LL3NH June 20th, 2013 12:25 AM

    Naomi, your last paragraph filled my head and made me almost cry. Your mind so often perfectly expresses my loves and hopes and fears.

    Naomi and Ruby, I’m in a world between your two, and you make it feel so dreamlike, like the best there could be.

    I guess I’m saying thank you.

  • Madness June 20th, 2013 12:40 AM


    “Where the myth fails, human love begins. Then we love a human being, not a dream, a human being with flaws.”

    Only when we are vulnerable and transparent, can we begin to truly love.

  • June 20th, 2013 7:28 AM

    This is amazing guys!

  • Chloe22 June 20th, 2013 10:15 AM

    Here’s to hoping Liam Payne (my future husband, duh) doesn’t like weird wall paper.

  • loonylizzy June 22nd, 2013 10:04 PM

    totally relating to naomi right now :)

  • barbroxursox June 23rd, 2013 4:28 PM

    I love the illustration! ^__^

  • midnightcall June 23rd, 2013 5:37 PM

    Ruby’s entries are consistently my favorite! She writes so beautifully and in the moment.