The going gets tough.
Bits and bobs from Caitlin’s week.
I’m still kind of waiting for life to start, to become my “best self.” Read More »
Everything on the internet is a bummer. Read More »
Zach and I broke up on Friday. Read More »
I’ve been wearing my grief like a coat. Read More »
Ruby and Britney <3
Totally get it ruby. I’m there. Have a better week, ok?
oooooooh caitlin i love it!!!
the orange balloon represents the one i blew up for you via skype celebrating your birthday!!!! <33333
‘Take a moment to imagine the employees of White Castle forming chicken meat into rings (which is how I assume this goes down, but I don’t know), dropping those rings into a deep-fryer, then pulling them out and covering them with powder (as if we can’t just dip them in ranch dressing in accordance with the popular practice), and tell me you don’t feel bummed?’
I can tell you I don’t feel bummed– for about the thousandth time I just feel SO STUPIDLY JEALOUS of people who live in the US and have access to this plethora of imaginative junk treats.
Also feel like I could really go for some fried chicken rings right about now.
Naomi has just explained so much of my life, it’s scary. Dream of the future or live in the present? Hope or a dull reality?
Don’t be jealous. It’s edible sadness.
Britney, I think you have a right to mourn…I hope the very best for you.
I’m in a library and trying not to cry.
Sorry about the break up Ruby. I’m glad you, at least, don’t regret being with him
Katherine, I’ve been super stressed with finals too and deleting my facebook last weekend was the best decision I ever made. It makes you ridiculously more productive. And the procrastinating I do end up doing is looking at blogs and listening to music so its much more beneficial procrastination than just refreshing your newfeed x1000 times to see your friends doing things you can’t do with them because you have too much work to do. SO YES Katherine do it!
Britney, I also think you definitely have a right to feel grief as long as you feel you need to. Everyone here on rookie is here for you and loves you.
Caitlin! I just read Everything is Illuminated too! It was so strange and beautiful, I especially loved Brod’s story!
Ruby–I totally know the feeling of “Well I picked a good dude for my first breakup.”
DD is now 1 of my fave sections in Rookie. i thought it’d be more interesting if hey made their entries handwritten by the writers,, though. (just a suggestion :))
ugh.sorry. i just can’t ever say anything without a typo error *-*
Mannnnnn you guys
ahh Naomi! I relate, so much. I feel like I’m living in a constant future, and it’s always been like that I guess. First it was, “when I get to high school, I will achieve the kind of life that i want to have”, then it was “oh well high school too is kind of sad and lonely, but when I get to university, well surely THEN I will achieve the kind of life that I want to have” and now my third year at the university is coming to its end and here I still am, as insecure and directionless as ever, basically feeling exactly like the 15-year-old me dreaming about high school and better days – with the exception that now I don’t really have any “next stage” to dream about, only a scary formless “adult future”. UGH. Oh well. But it’s okay to be incomplete, I guess life always is.
For fellow drifters, a book recommendation: A Home at the End of the World by Michael Cunningham. Captures the feeling of not knowing where you belong so so perfectly, it’s like the most comforting thing, <3<3<3.
Aw Ruby <3
I relate to Naomi completely, and I am so sad reading Ruby’s I was hoping for it to be amazing for you. Stay awesome girls!
3 years ago I could have written what Ruby wrote. The exact same words, the exact same story. And today I’m dating the boy I broke up with three years ago again because “We’re both in better places, we can try again.”
Chicken rings make me just as bummed as any kind of chicken meat, brr, it is really hard to believe that the ring was once a living being. But it is real world that shouldn’t be avoided. :)
(I understand that animal rights weren’t the point of the dairy, it’s just that it is a rarely mentioned topic shut down by talking about human rights or lol proteinzz, but helping animals doesn’t mean neglecting humans!)
Anyway, I admire all of the dairy writers, everyone is so talented!
sorry about the offtopic comment, but i’m just incredibly lonely and will soon become the weird granny talking to bus drivers…
Naomi, you seem to do a lot of waiting. I’m 23 and I still go on swings, and you can too. Life is all about taking action, because nothing changes when you remain still. You already know that. While “getting prettier” sounds a bit dangerous to me (what does this mean to you?) you can and should keep reading and writing as you’re doing to become more intelligent and aware of the world. That is already a form of action. However, there is always more you can do to move towards a “best self” – and that self is one that is constantly evolving.
Katherine, I love your writing style. You do a fantastic blend of hilarious and serious at the same time, kudos to you. Everything you do is visible socially now yeah, but maybe it might make you feel better that not many people care what you do and post online. It will be forgotten even if it doesn’t feel like it, and if not forgotten at least forgiven (hey, you were way younger, for crying out loud). I also feel like fried chicken on its own is kind of sad, so I’m not really surprised that fried chicken rings exist. It can’t be that hard to form when it’s barely chicken.
Ruby, you sound like an incredibly strong person. Most people are complete messes after first breakups. While maybe you aren’t displaying all of your emotions in your diary entry, you are really emotionally healthy and do seem independent enough to move on. Congrats on being awesome and powerful, lady.
Britney, I am so sorry. You are not responsible at all for the hurt someone else feels. It’s a really terribly sad situation, but nothing you could have done would have prevented her from killing herself. Teens who are dealing with severe depression need serious counseling and the support of medical professionals, and it seems you were already a good, supportive friend to her. I won’t tell you she’s in a better place – I personally don’t believe in heaven. She’s gone though, and she doesn’t have to experience a life of pain anymore. Maybe you don’t want to hear it, but the depression will lift, as will the anger, and time does heal these wounds, and you should not feel guilty when that starts to happen (it might not feel like it ever will, but trust me, you’ll get there). She is gone now, but that doesn’t mean you should ever forget her, or forget the connection you had with her.
Stay lovely, y’all.
I definitely feel like deleting all social networking and living in the real world right now!
Naomi, beautiful writing, and my thoughts exactly. I recently turned 18 and have been feeling the same way; making goofy, pointless films with friends and wondering if I’m too old, plus dreaming about the future and especially the coming summer. Anyway… Off to read the rest of the entries now, just had to say that though.
Hi, Rookies! If you’ve made anything—writing, photos, video, comix, etc.—you think might be right for us, please send it to us here. As always, thank you! ☆
All alone in the big big city.
The hazards and rewards of life as an archivist.
Inventions that died before their time.
Rookie is a website for teenage girls. With monthly-themed content, we update three times every weekday, and once a day on weekends. Click here to find out where to send stuff you'd like us to see. Learn about the people who write this thing here.
It’s expensive, exhausting, and occasionally infuriating, but so, so worth it.
A soundtrack for your journey through the desert.
This is definitely maybe exactly what you need to do.