Style

Because You Can: Make ’Em Look

What’s wrong with wanting attention?

I have been told many times by my “friends” that I look like a slut. Most of them dress conservatively, and they get very judgmental when I wear short shorts or a crop top. So do I strut my stuff in a denim mini or do I put some pants on?? —A Conflicted Fashionista

I have been wanting to dress in a more interesting, eye-catching way, but at my school if you do that you could lose all your friends and become the target of a lot of judgy, mean looks from your classmates. Any advice? —T.

I love being unique and wearing vintage and strange clothes. I always feel like people are judging me, though, so I rarely wear my super awesome thrift-store finds. I’m especially scared to wear that stuff around my boyfriend, because I feel like he might not be able to handle it. —Allison

I’m 16, and I’m kinda fat. I’ve been trying to lose weight, but I’m still bigger than I should be. So whenever I see a dress or a top or a pair of jeans that I like, I think, I’ll buy it when I’m skinny, it’ll look so much better. But what kinds of clothes should I wear in the meantime, as a larger lady? —Sukie

I’ve always loved fashion, but I dress down most of the time for the sake of my family. They habitually scoff at other people’s “weird” outfits and say that those people are “clearly looking for attention.” How can I dress for myself if it makes me feel guilty for being “embarrassing” and “wanting attenion”? —I.

Those are all real emails that we’ve gotten here at Rookie. And they’re just a fraction of the messages we get on the regular expressing some form of the dilemma “I want to dress in X or Y manner, but I’m scared people will think I’m desperate for attention.” Well, I have a question for you letter writers: what’s wrong with wanting attention?

I think wanting to be seen, heard, and acknowledged is pretty universal among human beings, and I don’t see how that’s a bad thing. Obviously there are people out there who are so self-absorbed that it’s a turn-off, but more often than not people are too quick to judge someone (usually a girl) who dares to show some skin or wear heavy makeup or post lots of mirror selfies on the internet as desperate or even immoral. “She tries too hard,” you hear people say, or “She’s just trying to get a reaction.”

These accusations are flung at girls of all sizes, but they seem to fly more freely when it comes to fat girls. The possibility that someone above a size 14 could be comfortable enough with her body to wear, say, a crop top simply does not exist for many people—so when they encounter it, their default reaction is to be grossed out and to condemn the woman in question for daring to call attention to her physical self. I have two responses to comments like those: (1) Most girls I know (of any size) dress for themselves, not anyone else. I give zero fucks what people think of my outfits. Sorry I’m not sorry you don’t like looking at my cellulite—that sounds like your problem, not mine! Suggestion: look at something else. And (2) I’m sure some women (again, of any and all body types) are dressing to get attention. And guess what? That’s OK too! It may not even be for the reasons you think.

Since fat bodies are so politicized, dressing them becomes a political act; I’ve talked to a lot of fat girls who choose to wear loud outfits precisely because they want to be visible in a world that tells them they should hide. Most people in this world would prefer that we fat women feel bad about our bodies—ideally we’ll be shamed into losing weight so other people won’t have to look at our bodies and turn into pillars of salt or puddles of tears or whatever it is they’re afraid of; but if we refuse to do total strangers the common courtesy of changing the shape of our bodies so that the one time they ever have to look at us we do not offend their eyeballs, the second-best thing we can do is hide our hideous bodies as much as possible, to cover them with whatever others are comfortable seeing us in (dark colors, “flattering cuts,” and sweatpants all fall into this category). So for us, choosing to wear neon leggings and a patterned top may be more than just a way to avoid leaving the house naked—it might be someone’s way of reclaiming ownership of their body, asserting their right to be visible, and refusing to be ignored. They’re challenging our culture’s ideas about what’s acceptable, and that’s the opposite of desperate. That’s brave. It’s not a cry for attention; it’s a shout: “I am here. I exist. And you will acknowledge my existence.”

Natalie Drue of Big Girl, Little World.

Natalie Drue of the blog Big Girl, Little World.

Now, mainstream media and culture are not that interested in helping fat people be more visible (name the last blockbuster you saw with two fat romantic leads, or the last YA novel you read where the protagonist just happened to be big and wasn’t trying to change that). So it’s up to us to show up. Clothing is one of the things that can help us in this effort.

Increasing our visibility can mean showing skin in crop tops and denim cutoffs:

Tumblr babes Natalie LINK: http://nataliemeansnice.tumblr.com  and Marfmellow LINK: http://marfmellow.com

Tumblr babes Natalie (left) and Marfmellow.

It can also mean wearing bright colors and fun prints:

Bloggers Nicolette Mason and Tiffany of Fat Shopaholic

Bloggers Nicolette Mason (left) and Tiffany of Fat Shopaholic.

It doesn’t have to be about having the craziest outfit in the room; simply cultivating a unique personal style and rocking it confidently is enough to make people look twice and to challenge their preconceived ideas about how fatness relates to fashion:

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Clockwise from top left: Bloggers Amarachiu, Erin of Zero Style, Fleetwood and Jessica, and Zalia Mak.

If you want to stand out this summer, no matter what size you wear, I say go for it! Here are a few of my favorite attention-grabbing pieces:

sdfsd

Top row, far left: print dress, $58, ASOS Curve. Top center: flower-patterned slip dress, $45, Domino Dollhouse, black-and-white patterned leggings, $35, Domino Dollhouse. Top right: Jibri crop bustier, $60, Etsy. Bottom row, far left: Denim shorts, $23, Forever 21. Bottom center: OCC Lip Tar in Yaoi, $18, Sephora. Bottom right: scallop-edge shorts, $45, Simply Be.

Go forth, turn heads, and take shameless selfies! And remember these words from the activist Lesley Kinzel, who said it better than I ever could:

The people who get angriest about fat girls looking good and feeling hot are the people who are the most strongly invested in the idea that a person has to be skinny in order to be happy, healthy, and loved. Very often it’s people just projecting their own body-loathing onto someone else; if you’re truly comfortable and confident in your own skin, it shouldn’t make a difference to you what anyone else is wearing, or how they look. It only affects you if it’s making you question your assumptions, about both other people and about yourself. ♦

66 Comments

  • susanv93 May 1st, 2013 11:09 PM

    “The people who get angriest about fat girls looking good and feeling hot are the people who are the most strongly invested in the idea that a person has to be skinny in order to be happy, healthy, and loved.”

    That’s very true.

    I struggle with an eating disorder and I admit that I tend to project my insecurities about my own body onto other women like, “How dare she x, y, and z? Only skinny people can do that and be happy while wearing it!” etc etc.

    I feel really bad about it and I never say any of these things aloud because I know the place those things are coming from.

    If you’re comfortable in your own skin, go dress however you want! I wish I could do the same.

  • awkwardblackgirl May 1st, 2013 11:15 PM

    I ‘m actually pretty chubby and reading this makes me feel way more comfortable and accepting of my body. I’m not sure if I’m ready to go out in public wearing a crop top or cutoff shorts but I am totally inspired to try new things instead of layering up all the time in an attempt to hide my body. I realize that society likes to poke fun at girls that aren’t a size 0 /have a thigh gap and that’s fucked up but we all just gotta deal with that & love ourselves.

  • imsexyandyousmellfunny May 1st, 2013 11:16 PM

    i LOVE the picture with the high-waisted shorts and jean jacket she looks fab (along with the rest of them)

  • marineo May 1st, 2013 11:28 PM

    YES!
    I cannot say how many times i’ve gotten a snide once-over from other girls as I walk down the hallways.
    What I say to them “Do my bright prints offend you? my unexpected silhouettes? my stretch marks? my thighs? my clunky shoes?” But of course, I don’t actually say this. I give them a withering stare and dress even more ravishing the next day.

    I want to be seen! You can’t force me to swathe myself in layers of beige because my body–and my fashion sense–are XXL!

  • lydiamerida May 1st, 2013 11:28 PM

    This is how I feel about not shaving. I get dirty looks when i wear tank tops or shorts, and people who don’t know I don’t shave sometimes comment on how gross girls who don’t shave are, or how they’re all “feminazis.” I don’t see it as some sort of statement, I just don’t feel comfortable feeling the need to shave because others tell me that I’m naturally disgusting.

    • Abby May 2nd, 2013 12:09 AM

      RIGHT?? I do shave, but I hate it when people shame girls for not shaving. It’s a personal preference for most, not a statement. And seriously… why do they even care?? Most men don’t shave, and people have no problem with their body hair…

    • Sister Moon May 2nd, 2013 12:39 AM

      I totally feel you! I just stopped shaving this year, since the summer. I get a bit uncomfortable with those looks sometimes when people can see my hair. I don’t like drawing attention to myself but I also don’t want to start shaving again just because of these looks. This article is great because I realize the attention is only negative if I take it that way! I can just say to stupid people, “So I’m different than you, and I’m very glad.”

    • Elle Kay May 2nd, 2013 1:03 AM

      SAME HERE! I’m in solidarity with everyone whose personal preferences are at odds with what’s popular, but I’ve been bothered for the last decade about how “important” it still is that women remove all their hair. It’s so unnecessary, time-consuming, expensive, and physically irritating that I just can’t understand why our culture still holds it in an ever-higher regard! Magazine ads now encourage all sorts of ways to remove body hair from places I honestly can’t imagine anyone caring about the furriness of. I mean, all my friends are waxing their arms and stomachs every few weeks, and I barely can be bothered to shave my legs once a month. I don’t know what it’ll take to bring this useless practice into the forefront to be seen as the ridiculous farce it is.

    • Lynn Hollis May 2nd, 2013 1:22 AM

      “I don’t see it as some sort of statement, I just don’t feel comfortable feeling the need to shave because others tell me that I’m naturally disgusting.”

      That was perfect. And so, so right.
      ‘Mommy, that girl has hairy armpits.’
      ‘I know, let’s walk the other way.’

      :(

    • caro nation May 2nd, 2013 6:59 AM

      I think that by finding the presence of our body hair disgusting, other people are MAKING it a feminist statement. The fact that our culture has stigmatized body hair for so long that seeing it on a woman is shocking, that people immediately jump to the conclusion that there is NO WAY you wouldn’t shave your body hair unless you were some “fucking feminazi” – that right there makes our armpit hair radical. I wish it wasn’t so outrageous to people, but the fact that it is means we have to keep doing it, just like this article says about showing off your body no matter how it looks.

      • lxmldrt May 2nd, 2013 8:39 AM

        I’m pretty sure that 90% of the girls that judge me with their looks about not shaving are dying inside to have the courage not to do it. And I really think watching girls like me and you can finally encourage them to be who they want to be.

    • lydiamerida May 2nd, 2013 9:29 PM

      I’m glad that so many fellow rookies feel the same way I do :) though it is upsetting that shaving is even an issue!

    • Ella W May 6th, 2013 8:46 AM

      EXACTLY!!
      I don’t care about my unshaved legs, and I don’t see why anyone else should care either!
      PLUS… barely any one notices! I hadn’t shaved my legs for 4 months, and then I told my sister about it. It was clear she hadn’t noticed, as after that she went on and on about it, when before she had never said anything.
      Shaving is such a waste of time, and money – if like me you used to use the hair removal creams.
      It’s disgusting that girls are shamed for having hairy legs, or armpits, or crotches. Hair is simply natural, but now it seems that having hair is the unnatural thing for women to have.
      I am PROUD of my unshaved legs, hence the name of my blog:

      http://gorillalegs.blogspot.co.uk/

      Love you Rookies!

  • Katherine May 1st, 2013 11:31 PM

    Not all covering up is body shame – it’s also a way to tell the world that you are more than just a body to be looked at.

    • sophiethewitch May 2nd, 2013 2:10 AM

      You’re absolutely right, and anyone who chooses to cover up has every right to and shouldn’t feel judged for that. I don’t think this article was shaming women who do dress “modestly” (ugh I hate that expression), more just saying that we shouldn’t shame women who DO choose to call attention to their bodies.

  • maxrey May 1st, 2013 11:43 PM

    All of these ladies look fab! Thanks for this article!

    I’ve always been very conscious of my weight, and I used to hide under shapeless clothes. It wasn’t until college that I realized I could wear whatever I wanted regardless of my size. It’s a great feeling!

  • lyssagrltx May 1st, 2013 11:52 PM

    This is amazing. This has made me realize being overweight isn’t a ever bad thing. The only time something is ever bad(in the style sense) is when you blend in and dress how society wants you too and you’re not pleasing yourself. Don’t dress how society wants you to dress like yourself. That’s all who matters and ever will matter.

  • gracegoessquee May 2nd, 2013 12:34 AM

    i really love this essay. why is it that we use fat as an insult? there are worst things to be. i do have a request. i only ever find people talking about people who are skinny, or people who are fat. but I am inbetween! can i get some people talking about the inbetweens??

    • Anaheed May 2nd, 2013 1:00 AM

      Yeah man, let’s start a movement! THE MEDIUM (size) IS THE MESSAGE. –Fellow In-Between

      • ladyjenna May 2nd, 2013 3:53 PM

        HOLLA yes please!

        I have no waist and huge cheeks, but I’m not fat either. I mean WTF.

    • TinyWarrior May 2nd, 2013 9:08 PM

      I totally get what you’re saying! I have bigger bones, but I don’t have extra weight on me, so I’m just sort of this “skinny-but-doesn’t-look-skinny-just-looks-like-a-bigger-but-not-very-big-person”. My size is quite confusing to a lot of people who’re stuck in the SKINNY VS. FAT mindset.

    • Frodoish May 3rd, 2013 6:46 PM

      I totally agree!I have no idea what to think of my body. I know I’m healthy… but am I pretty? That’s the million dollar question. If only I had some sort of validation…

  • Blythe May 2nd, 2013 1:14 AM

    The last two books I read where the protag just happened to be fat were one that I think was called Artichoke’s Heart (?) and one that I can’t remember the name of, but it was set in New Zealand and it was a paranormal romance and it was legit one of the best books I have ever read.

  • Kori May 2nd, 2013 1:15 AM

    Here’s a relevant quote (I can’t remember where I found it, sorry): “Don’t look to other people for validation. Your birth was your validation.”

    • chiara_ May 2nd, 2013 5:06 AM

      I do believe it was from the facebook page Humans Of New York. Few days ago they shared a photo of a man and added that quote to the description – but I don’t really know whether he was its creator or if he was just quoting someone else.

  • Mary the freak May 2nd, 2013 1:44 AM

    My style is pretty weird, you know, and not conventional at all. But I enjoy people staring at me. I want to provoke, actually. Of course I am dressing like that for me, like, I like what i am wearing, pretty much, but people staring at my legs covered in vein tights is so much fun. Especially when you don’t look conventional, women should embrace it and be proud of it. This article was perfect. Gabi you rule.

    http://birdiewearsatie.blogspot.com/

  • lylsoy May 2nd, 2013 2:08 AM

    “Loving your body only when it looks “good” is like loving your children only when they behave” – I read this somewhere and I really like this quote! But I cannot leave without mentioning this: Please feed your body with nutritious healthy foods as often as you can! You are not really loving your body if you only give it McDonalds and Taco Bell! I am not American and didn’t grow up being allowed to eat much fast/junk food I don’t crave it often, and I am not saying to never eat pizza again, but I think us young people need to pay attention to what we out into our bodies- no matter what size <3

    • NotReallyChristian May 2nd, 2013 4:29 AM

      While you’re totally right that good nutrition is important for health, it makes me a bit uncomfortable that you chose to make that comment on this article, seeing as the piece has nothing to do with food or health … was it because you assumed that all the fat girls commenting were stuffing their faces with junk food?

      First, remember everything can be part of a healthy diet as long as it’s in moderation. Second, you can be fat and eat healthily — I’m overweight and I never, ever eat fast food (by choice — again, it’s not the devil and it’s not going to kill you to have it occasionally). Third…maybe some people aren’t that bothered about eating healthily, and that doesn’t make them bad people — just people with different priorities.

    • caro nation May 2nd, 2013 7:19 AM

      Yeah, the fact that this comment was on THIS article sort of reminds of this piece in xoJane, where the author talked about how it it OKAY to bring up “health” in every discussion even remotely RELATED to fat people because you’re “just so concerned.” This article is not encouraging poor nutrition in any way. Fat people are not just fat because they’re uneducated about nutrition, or stuffing their faces. This comment was kinda inappropriate.

      • giov May 2nd, 2013 9:09 AM

        In Lylsoy’s defense I will say that in a lot of European countries fat shaming is still largely common and accepted (not to imply that she was doing that, but as a culture we’re still thinking about fat in a less positive way). Although there’s plenty of fat and overweight (beautiful) people in Europe, we still think of America as an obese country, where all the evil fast food comes from.

        It takes a while to understand that mentioning health and nutrition when discussing fat is not inherently ok, when you’re being bombarded by that kind of ideas (fast food=evil, fat=unhealthy).

        Please call me out if I’m saying something dumb here!

        • periwinkle_dreams May 2nd, 2013 2:56 PM

          No, I think you’re right – I’m sure that’s true. I’m not European, so I don’t know. But that is the first thing that caught my attention about her comment; it implied that ALL Americans eat fast food, and are fat because they eat fast food. I live in the U.S. and I don’t know anyone who eats fast food on a regular basis. Most of the people I know are very slim and physically fit, although some of my friends are heavier and they’re beautiful too. Actually, the one guy I know who does eat at McDonald’s multiple times a week is also the skinniest guy I’ve ever met.

          Point is, there are a lot of hurtful stereotypes in our world, especially when it comes to people/places/things we don’t know or understand. How could you know not all Americans eat fast food if you’ve never been there? How could you understand that not all fat people are fat because they eat unhealthily if you’ve only ever been around skinny people? It’s not an excuse for buying into the hurtful lies that society perpetuates, but at least it’s a reason, and we can always stand to cut our fellow Rookies a little more slack.

    • Ruby B. May 2nd, 2013 6:32 PM

      Fat is not the same as unhealthy. It does not mean a bad diet or not enough activity. It does not mean an overweight person is a billboard saying “EVERYONE EAT ONLY PIZZA!” People know how to be healthy and it’s really nobody else’s business.

      • lylsoy May 3rd, 2013 6:49 AM

        I didn’t mean to say that eating fast food equals being/getting fat!! You got me wrong!
        What I meant was/is that taking bodylove to another level means caring about what I put into me (maybe that’s for me- I am not assuming that everybody shares my opinion and I have been to the states and know that not everybody there is “fat” or a junk addict. I am also aware that genetics and metabolism play a big role etc. I don’t know, I am just passionate about the issue as I’m studying nutrition)
        What I said about fast food chains relates to the fact that you have more different fast food chains than we do in my country, so it’s more a common thing to eat.
        I don’t think my comment was in any way fat or skinny shaming, because I too have friends in all different sizes which I love and respect for who they are and if you interpreted it the other way I am sorry!
        Also I see what you mean about this being under the wrong article, feel free to remove it! xo

  • elliecp May 2nd, 2013 2:22 AM

    Rookie gets everything so right.

    I always have the issue of worrying what people will think – whether they’ll think I’m trying to get too much attention or whether they think I’m trying to be cool and indie with what I wear, but after reading about and discovering everyone on here I literally just stopped caring.

    wear whatever you want girls…you’ll look fabulous and everyone that doesn’t agree can suck it <3

    http://roseandvintage.blogspot.com/

  • taste test May 2nd, 2013 3:15 AM

    I love this article’s message, but at the same time, I kind of resent the idea that dressing vividly and uniquely is THE way to be confident in yourself and challenge the world’s perceptions of you. I consider myself pretty confident, but I also do not give a shit about what I wear. I appreciate fashion, but when it comes to actually wearing it, I just can’t make myself care enough to think finding and buying the clothes and doing the hair and makeup is worth it. I would happily wear jeans and band t-shirts for the rest of my life if I could. I’m just starting to be afraid the entire world is going to think I’m boring and lacking self-confidence because of it.

    I understand one of rookie’s focuses is fashion and I have no problem with that. I’m also not dissing people who do dress up in bright colors and vintage outfits- it’s great, I just don’t want to do it myself. I guess I just wanted to get this out there.

    • poetess May 2nd, 2013 4:57 PM

      I feel ya– I used to be that way (I’ve changed a little… maybe I was going through a phase, or MAYBE I’m going through a phase now, who knows…)– anyway. You wear them jeans, grl.

  • Luce May 2nd, 2013 3:36 AM

    yessss lesley kinzel is my hero
    Thank you so much for this Gabi!

    Last book I read where the protagonist was fat was Big Fat Manifesto by Susan Vaught, and I recommend it to everyone. I cried so much but it was really inspiring and beautiful.

  • MabelEnchanted May 2nd, 2013 5:15 AM

    As much as I appreciate this post I just don’t think I can ever not think about what some people are saying about me. I think it’s because I’m around people at the moment who are so judgemental. I wish I could just forget about them and just wear what I want but…I really don’t think I can. Well, not just yet.

    http://mabelsmind.blogspot.co.uk/

  • limegreensunset May 2nd, 2013 7:55 AM

    THIS. SO. MUCH.

    http://limegreensunset.blogspot.co.uk/

  • lxmldrt May 2nd, 2013 8:41 AM

    YESSSSSSSS

  • soviet_kitsch May 2nd, 2013 9:00 AM

    “please don’t kill the freshman” by zoe trope has an adorable fat/chubby protagonist (and is also a killer book)
    for the record, i’m visibly disabled and i wear as much revealing clothing as i want. i don’t wear a bra or shave my legs and the confidence i get from not doing those things makes people pay the RIGHT kind of attention to me (ie appreciative, not sleazy). wear what YOU want, and if anyone has a problem with it, they can go to hell. i know it’s incredibly cheesy, but confidence is the ultimate accessory.

  • giov May 2nd, 2013 9:00 AM

    I had the same exact thought today in class. I study art history and the people in my course are really into dressing vividly and fashionably but in an alternative way, I’m sure you know what I mean. I was standing there in my comfortable cycling clothes and figured that I really can’t be bothered! But I like looking at them and think they’re all babes! And I’m also a babe! We’re all babes so let’s get over it.

    • ladyjenna May 2nd, 2013 3:58 PM

      EVERYONE’S A BABE

      (New rookie slogan)

  • spudzine May 2nd, 2013 2:10 PM

    The last and only YA book I read with a confident, protagonist, fat girl was Eleanour and Park. Eleanour didn’t really care that she was big. She WAS insecure for a few pages, I think, but honestly she was proud of who she was throughout the whole book. She wore bright, eyecatching clothes that people would bully her for. She would get constantly bullied for her size, being called Big Red, for her hair, and for her eccentric outfits. But she continued to be who she was despite all of that. That in itself is beautiful.

    http://spudzine.tumblr.com/
    http://emotwins.tumblr.com/
    http://rockogirl.tumblr.com/

  • periwinkle_dreams May 2nd, 2013 3:11 PM

    I’ve had a cute crop top in my closet for a few weeks and haven’t worn it yet. This article made me stop to think about that. I guess it’s because I’ve been afraid people might get “the wrong idea”. But what idea might they get? That I think it’s a cute top? That I enjoy showing off my body? That I’m not a sexless flower demurely standing in the corner, blushing when I see any hint of skin? There is nothing that top could imply that I wouldn’t happily own. And if someone thinks that my clothes are saying that I’m easy to get in bed or I’m “asking for it” – whether “it” is sex, sexual attention, rude comments, whatever – that’s THEIR problem, not mine. So, tomorrow’s outfit: bright blue jeans, black and white crop top, stacks of rainbow bead bracelets I made myself? YES.

  • ladyjenna May 2nd, 2013 3:58 PM

    So how do I get my normally forward-thinking mother to stop slut shaming? There are sooooo many girls at my school that dress in a revealing and sort of trashy manner, and I used to be very judgmental. Also, I’m pretty sure they don’t do it to be fashionable or to wear what they want, but to fit in with everyone else. So what’s the call, here?

  • izzyisnotsane May 2nd, 2013 4:11 PM

    I like this article! I used to be made fun of all the time because I looked ‘like a stick’ or like I needed to eat a burger when in reality that was my normal body type. In fact it came to a point were I was over eating to gain weight (didn’t gain anything except for tummy aches)((I’m definitely not doing that anymore)) Body shamming is horrible whether you are fat or skinny. I still have some issues with wearing short sleeve shirts and tanks tops which show my arms. But overall I believe and love the message: love your body for what it is because it’s yours.
    Oh by the way anorexic/anorexia and obese/obesity are not body types, they are a medical condition and eating disorder. I hate it when people use those words to describe bodies. ~_~ as long as you’re healthy and happy, you should rock what you have!

  • wolnosc May 2nd, 2013 4:20 PM

    Whenever someone makes a negative comment, I just like to say, “Deal with it.”

  • GlitterKitty May 2nd, 2013 5:29 PM

    I don’t like how so much focus is put on people’s (particularly women’s) bodies because I think it makes everyone very insecure. I’ve always been very thin and I really hate it when people make comments about it, just like any bigger person doesn’t like when people make rude comments about them. (Though i think the bigger girls get way more than their share of the hate) I don’t think it’s right to take about anyone’s body because its really not that big of a deal. I mean, we’re all people right?

  • ruby May 2nd, 2013 6:08 PM

    When bloggers criticised Lena Dunham for wearing short shorts, she said ‘get used to it because I am going to live until I am 100 and show my thighs every day till I die’

    (There are not words to express how much I love her)

    xx

    http://thezinepallingproject.wordpress.com/

  • Kaetlebugg May 2nd, 2013 7:24 PM

    honestly you’re just gonna have to say EFF THE HATERS I AM AWESOME I AM AWESOME I AM AWESOME. Chant it.

  • FlowerPower May 2nd, 2013 7:52 PM

    Pure awesomeness. I’m known for my “unusual” attire, and lately I’ve been sporting baby earrings. It’s actually pretty funny to see some people’s reactions. Sometimes as I walk by I see people’s faces and I can’t help but laugh. Of course, I’m lucky to have friends and people in my life who dig my weird style, and I’m glad for that.
    Just wear whatever you want whenever you want (unless its really cold outside, then you might want to wear a fuzzy sweater)
    Caroline :)

  • BITEMEFILMFEST May 2nd, 2013 7:54 PM

    Way to go on this post! I’d love to chat more with you about your thoughts on dressing the fat body “as a political act.” I’m currently doing my PhD and seeking folks interested in having some conversations on the topic. All the best to you!
    Ji!! Andrew
    BITE ME! Toronto Int’l Body Image Film & Arts Festival (Sept 7-9, 2013)
    Fat in the City
    http://www.bitemefilmfest.com
    info@bitemefilmfest.com
    http://www.fatinthecity.com
    info@fatinthecity.com
    Toronto, ON

  • TinyWarrior May 2nd, 2013 9:17 PM

    This article really hit home for me something that’s been a big conflict in my life recently, with it being swimsuit-buying-season and all. I’ve been wanting to buy one of those midkini’s from Delia’s, but I haven’t yet because I’m worried about how it’ll look. I have bigger bones, but I don’t weigh that much. I have good self-esteem, but recently not so much body-wise. I’ve been really wanting said swimsuit, but I haven’t bought it because I’m worried about what it’ll look like. Or, to be frank, what people will think I look like IN it. This article came at exactly the right time, though, because it made me realize that I can wear whatever the heck I want if I feel awesome and rad in it, and the opinion of someone who I’ll see for two seconds doesn’t matter. But I digress..ROOKIE ROCKS AND HAS MADE ME FEEL ABLE TO OFFICIALLY WEAR EVERYTHING IN MY CLOSET WITHOUT SHAME OR FEAR! WOOT WOOT! THANK YOU, GABI! <33

    Also it's crazy that I'm fourteen and not wanting to wear a swimsuit for fear of bending over and getting a stomach roll. SOCIETY IS WEIRD, GUYS.

  • Spotty May 3rd, 2013 1:26 AM

    Rookies representing the University of North Texas!

  • taste test May 3rd, 2013 1:49 AM

    since a lot of people are chiming in with YA books that have fat & proud female MCs, I’d like to contribute the only one I can think of, which is Everything Beautiful by Simmone Howell. it’s set in Australia and it also discusses christianity in a kind of satirical way (the MC is an atheist at a fundamentalist camp against her will). but she dresses however she wants and won’t take any shit about her size or sexual history or opinions or anything and it’s pretty awesome. I thought it was a nice easy read with good characters and I’d recommend it to people who don’t mind the religious satire.

  • rebelwithoutacause May 3rd, 2013 9:44 AM

    I think that attention is a naturally important thing. I also think that being proud of what you look like is not only important to your confidence but how you view others. Yet, I think there comes a point where attention gets really competitive. People in my school no longer judge people by their true character, they judge them by how many people’s attention they have. There is this one girl in my language class. She is a genius but people don’t pay attention to her because she is quiet and sheltered. They listen to the aggressive boy across the room who is constantly interrupting the teacher. I think that being proud of who you are is important but we so easily match that with the concept of attention. Each day I find it harder and harder to distinguish between how people view me and how I view myself. Once people begin distinguishing between confidence and attention, I think we will truly judge each other by our true character.

  • jkate May 3rd, 2013 12:39 PM

    This is great… but I also think you have to own it. Half of it is confidence. If you wear something and don’t feel good in it no matter what it is (even a pair of sweatpants) then it doesn’t look good.

    I’ve been seeing a lot of posts lately on fb from thin girls about thin-bashing. By no means am I saying that it is okay to judge other people’s bodies, but I think saying it’s the same as fat-bashing is not true. The media praises a thin figure. Being a part of that norm I think is different than constantly being excluded, ignored, or told to change. Any thoughts about thin-bashing? (I mean clearly bashing is wrong…)

    Rookie is doing a great job by having postings about body acceptance. However, a lot of the style shoots and style posts still glorify the thin frame.

    • jayne12 May 5th, 2013 8:37 PM

      I agree with you, thin-bashing is definitely not the same as fat-bashing in the slightest. I used to get called “skinny rat” and other such names but, while it was hurtful, I would (probably wrongly) think to myself “well at least I’m not getting called fat”. In fact it was probably the “fat” part that I was really hurt by the most. There is so much pressure on young girls to be thin (and NOT to be even a tiny bit bigger) that as a consequence, when friends sometimes say to one another that they are “almost tooooo skinny” it can actually be seen as a complement- this would in no WAY be taken as a complement if in that sentence, skinny was switched for fat.

  • Newyorkbeats May 5th, 2013 12:42 PM

    Whenever I feel unsure about my body or what clothes I wear I just read this post and become more confident! Thanks Rookie!

  • neenah May 22nd, 2013 1:39 PM

    Right Fucking ON!!

  • evagm May 29th, 2013 9:03 AM

    Wow what a great article (: I feel so confident and empowered
    http://totallybugginn.blogspot.com/

  • atticus August 5th, 2013 8:03 PM

    Where can I find that purple floral skirt? It’s not mentioned in the caption. Thanks!