On Tuesday, I ended up doing the kind of bonding that only happens on a night out with other girls—including some from my college, girls I used to be slightly intimidated by. I was only planning on going to the local pub for a couple of drinks, but ended up in a taxi on my way to the club at the heart of town. I had gone to the same one the week before, but that night was crappy—my energy and morale were at an all-time low, and it led to a small identity crisis. Tuesday night was exactly what I needed to rub out all those bad feelings.

I said hi to one girl I was reasonably friendly with when we bumped into each other in the toilets, and she persuaded me to carry on to the next destination. My usual group of friends had assumed I wasn’t going to the club and left without me, and I was looking forward to surprising them, as well as enjoying the sensation of being with a new group of people.

Once there, I danced, and comforted one girl over a boy, and just related to these people in a way I had never been able to before. They had always seemed far away and sort of untouchable, the kind of girls that are too cool to approach—I felt they were above me, I guess. But our booze-fueled socialising, and perhaps being together at night, when I suppose we are all a little vulnerable, allowed me to see things differently. It took witnessing them in this environment—getting embarrassed over boys, leaning on me when they were tired, dancing without a care, and all the things I had done myself the week before—for me to realise that these girls are fallible just like me or anybody else. It was wonderful.

My brother’s best friend’s little sister, whom I had just finally met, ended up sleeping over at our house. She was a particular object of fascination for me, because she doesn’t seem to have an ounce of shyness. She glides through life and you glide through with her, not questioning what she does because she’s so confident. So as she, my brother, and I attempted to come back to life the next morning, she strode into my room and straight under my duvet to chat, and it seemed like the most perfectly natural thing to happen. And when she got on the phone to talk to the girl I had comforted the night before, she handed it to me and I comforted her a little again, and we said we loved each other and it made me so entirely happy. I love it when life is like this. ♦