A mondegreen is a phrase or line from a song that has been misheard, often hilariously (and occasionally profoundly). The word was coined in 1954, when the writer Sylvia Wright described, in an essay for Harper’s, how she’d bungled this 17th century Scottish ballad called “The Bonny Earl O’Moray.” The last line is “And laid him on the green”; as a child Wright had thought it was “And Lady Mondegreen.”

The first time I heard Destiny’s Child’s single “Jumpin’ Jumpin’” on the radio in high school, I swore the chorus was “The club is full of ballers and their COCK is full grown,” and I thought DA-YUM, that is SEXUAL. (It was actually “their pockets” that were grown.) Maybe misheard lyrics are a little portal into our psyches, revealing that reveal the limits of what we know and what we are capable of imagining. When I was little, not knowing what a casbah was, I thought Joe Strummer was singing, “Rock the Casper” (as in the Friendly Ghost). As an adult, after being spurned by a lover, I heard John Lennon singing, “Oh, you’re cold!” but a week later, after my boyfriend and I made up, it suddenly dawned on me that he was saying “Oh! Yoko!” In some cases, there are no “correct” lyrics, and it’s all just glossolalia and mumbling and our brains have to make tremendous leaps of imagination. Here are a few of my favorite songs to mishear. The internet makes it easy to correct oneself, but I’m quite happy singing my versions (which you can enjoy and poke fun at; just scroll down to the bottom of this post). Post your favorite misheard song lyrics in the comments?

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MISHEARD LYRICS KEY:

1. “Heaven or Las Vegas”

What I heard:

Pooh ah yeah mehh
To yeah so ev meh
Gah vey for nu
For nu fair eh fair

Singing on my favorite street
Aaah to love-a-love-a love me
My guess is heaven or las vegas
Es my gee to ride around rest to me

The chin is the cheek to my soul

Real lyrics:

NO IDEA

2. “Wuthering Heights”

What I heard:

Out of the winding
Indie boys we roll and fall in green

Real lyrics:

Out on the wiley, windy moors
We’d roll and fall in green

3.”Jumpin’ Jumpin”

What I heard:

The club is full of ballers
And their cock is full grown

Real lyrics:

The club is full of ballers
And they pockets full grown

3. “Bohemian Rhapsody”

What I heard:

The hells of poop have a devil put aside for meee

Real lyrics:

Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me

5. “Upon this Tidal Wave of Young Blood”

What I heard:

They are CHASTA CHASTA CHASTA

Real lyrics:

They are child stars child stars child stars

6. “Rock the Casbah”

What I heard:

Cherry don’t like it
Rock the Casper
Rock the cashbox

Real lyrics:

Sharif don’t like it
Rock the casbah
Rock the casbah

7. “Paper Planes”

What I heard:

I fly like paper get high like POONS

Real lyrics:

I fly like paper get high like planes

8. “Gossip Folks”

What I heard:

Her zoo?
My gizzard!
My zigga is an A
It’s a gizzard
It’s always like
It’s a gizzard

Real lyrics:

(Gibberish)

9. “Tiny Dancer”

What I heard:

Hold me closer, Tony Danza

Real lyrics:

Hold me closer, tiny dancer

What Tavi heard:

Count the headlights on the highway
Lady Diamond she’s so plaaaaaaaan
How I feel the day to dayyyyyy

Real lyrics:

Lay me down in sheets of linen
You had a busy day today

10. “All Apologies”

What I heard:

I could seed from shame
or
Acquiesce from shame

Real lyrics:

Aqua seafoam shame

What I heard:

All I know is Rosario

Real lyrics:

All in all is all we are

11. “Beast of Burden”

What I heard:

I’ll never leave your pizza burning

Real lyrics:
I’ll never be your beast of burden

12. “Oh Yoko!”

What I heard:

Oh, you’re cold!

Real lyrics:

Oh, Yoko!

13. “Holy Dances”

What I heard:

In the night I call your name
Hard and white
Would let die
Holy foes
In our best searches
Aaaaaaaahhhh

Real lyrics:

In the night I called your name
Heart of mine
One letter at a time
I’ll be found in a
Land of savages
Ah-aaaah…

What I heard:

Maybe you don’t know what you’ve got
Spend your money on desert knobs
Holy dances are for fin
For aaaahhh

Real lyrics:

Maybe you
Don’t know what you’ve got,
Spent yer money on desert lots
Holy dances and acronyms
For her. ♦