Between 2002 and 2009, whenever I would get sick, I used to sing BBMak’s “Out of My Heart” and think of Leonardo DiCaprio in Catch Me If You Can until I felt better. The two are totally unrelated, but I always thought the song played in the credits of the movie, because the lyrics are like, “Catch me if you can / I’ve gotta make a getawaaayyy.” Anyway, I forgot all about this, but the reason I bring it up is that I had the WORST poop of my life in the Hampton Inn in Hadley, Massachusetts, tonight, and I started to sing that song to myself in order to feel better. It worked in 2009 and it worked now. WTF? LOL! LIFE!

Aside from the fact that my body hates me, everything is fine. I’m in Massachusetts! On college tours! And there’s snow! It’s mostly piled up on the sides of roads and gray from dirt, but every time I see those snow banks I want to give them hugs and never let go. When I left my dorm for the trip I, like, giggled with excitement in the elevator. My ability to make conversation with other humans is lower than ever, but I’m on the road with my dad and there is snow everywhere, so it’s all OK. Like many dads, mine likes to read billboards as we pass them, which makes me die with LOLs and hearts. Also, when I’m on trips with him, I discover the part of me that likes to explain all future plans in detail—tour times, distances between schools and hotels, the order of things we need to do—and then describe them again and again. So, in conclusion, Leonardo DiCaprio and Y2K pop hits are my medicine, snow is everywhere, and I’m visiting the college Charlotte York went to tomorrow. Here’s hoping the only other thing we have in common is miraculously shiny hair. ♦