I am starting to feel oddly separate from the people I go to school with, which is scaring me. This is in stark contrast to what I used to feel, which was an undeniable attachment to everyone—even the people I disliked—in my grade. But what I looked at so fondly before, through tears and nostalgia, is now becoming clearer, and I’m newly aware of how fleeting my relationships with all these kids are. I’m friendly with most of them, and we’ll probably try to maintain contact after school’s over, but we will fail, because frankly, school is the only thing that connects us. It’s horrible and it’s frustrating, but sometimes it’s absolutely necessary to face reality, even though it’s one of the things that I hate to do the most.
My friends and classmates seem so excited about starting high school and moving on. Why aren’t I? If I’m losing my attachment to the people here, what’s keeping me so mired in middle school? Why am I so afraid of high school? I didn’t get into my first-pick school, but I’m OK with that now. Maybe I’m just scared of change. I gotta snap out of this, or I’ll be in danger of becoming one of those people who are constantly reliving their glory days, never growing or really experiencing anything, just stuck. ♦