Dear Diary

February 27, 2013

Oh, the joys of other people.


It’s Saturday night and I’m in Will’s basement. He’s the lead singer of our band, Llama Sanchez, so I’m here often for practice. It smells like incense and air freshener. I hand Zach the Boyfriend (we’re “official” now) the black trench coat I bought him at Savers that afternoon. I greet everyone else and join a discussion about whether it would be cool for Will to light his ukulele on fire. Morgan doesn’t think so.

We are listening to the Smiths. Everyone here likes good music, and all of them—including Jack, Sam, and Ben, who have a band called Diatribe—could be amazing musicians, like as a career. One day, people will say, “Isn’t it awesome that they all used to hang out?”

It’s pouring, and freezing, but we walk to the elementary school playground anyway. I’m in a velvet tank top and Ben is wearing a short-sleeved Led Zepplin tee, and we try to outlast each other: who will take cover first? I cave after about half an hour and get into Zach the Boyfriend’s trench coat, so Ben wins. It’s inky dark out and soon we are back. I throw my socks and the coat and some other stuff in Will’s dryer. We try and fail to make a fort, and laugh when someone throws a shoe at Ben’s head. Ben, Zach, and I cuddle on the couch together. The trench coat is out of the dryer and doubles as a very warm makeshift blanket.

I love these people dearly. All I ever wanted was this, a solid group of friends who aren’t friends by default, but who actually like and respect each other. I haven’t known them long, but they are all wonderful and kind and smart, and I don’t know how I ever lived without them. I take back everything I ever said about friendship being overrated, and I stand by what I always believed to be true: good friends are worth waiting for. ♦


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  • maddieT February 27th, 2013 7:50 PM

    Britney– you are brilliant and amazing and even if kids keep throwing trash at you forever, you will still be brilliant and amazing. Even if you can’t help getting a bit down on life, life is never down on you because life has no expectations for you because it is an inanimate non-object. Life can only be surprised at how cool you are and at the great things you achieve.

    • Britney February 27th, 2013 9:19 PM

      Thank you so much. That’s one of the best things that anyone has ever told me.

      • ladyjenna February 27th, 2013 10:44 PM

        Lets be friends, K?

  • Tiger February 27th, 2013 7:51 PM

    Britney– people at school treat me the same way. They don’t take me seriously and it’s seriously so frustrating

  • Tiger February 27th, 2013 8:01 PM

    Ruby I’m so happy for you :)

  • HollinsCollins February 27th, 2013 8:13 PM

    Oh Rubes, I’m so happy for you X3

    And Britney, I know how you feel. People don’t say “Oh, Holly” to me, but I’ve heard “You’re so funny, Holly” and other crap like that. But even though I don’t know you, I think you’re strong and awesome and smart and I hope other people start realizing that soon.

  • goma February 27th, 2013 8:30 PM

    Ruby, your band is awesome. Also, Britney I know how you feel. I’m 13 and I hate when I’m going through youtube comments of a band I like and I see ‘oh I used to like that band when I was 13 but now I know I was stupid back then and only dumb 13 year olds like this dumb band

  • Elle February 27th, 2013 10:49 PM

    Um, hello Britney, people used to do the same thing to me, they will probably grow out of it (I know that is not very comforting). There is an Oscar Wilde quote I wish I’d known. “Experience is a question of instinct about life.” from Lady Windermere’s Fan. I mean about feeling young.

  • litchick February 27th, 2013 10:54 PM

    So happy for you, Ruby!

    Britney, my friends used to do the same thing to me. Maybe your friends don’t realize how they sound/are making you feel; that was how it was in my experience, anyway. Best of luck! :)

  • Abby in the Sky with Diamonds February 27th, 2013 10:57 PM

    Dear Britney, I know that feeling. Lately the kids at my school like talking down to me & acting like we’re friends??? I don’t even know. But this one popular girl came up to me in the library and said, “What’s up homie”. But they’re obviously not trying to be my friend because they say it in a condescending way.

    P.S. Britney you’re already coolest. Nirvana rocks. Okay bye.

  • wishfulwanderer February 27th, 2013 11:08 PM

    Your entry gave me butterflies. So happy for you!

  • unicornconnect February 28th, 2013 1:07 AM

    Britney, although no one has ever thrown rubbish at me, oh the horror, I feel exactly how you feel one day. One of my “friends” always kind of dismisses me as this cute little blob of unimportance who says stuff that’s funny but should NOT be taken seriously. I feel like saying sometimes YEAH I’M ADORABLE, BUT THAT DOESN’T BEEN MY DIORAMAS AREN’T PROFESSIONAL AND AWESOME!!!!!!!

    Ruby: you are so lucky to have awesome awesome awesome friends.

    • unicornconnect February 28th, 2013 1:10 AM

      Also, I always get:

  • sneakybacon February 28th, 2013 7:00 AM

    one of the coolest people i know is about 3 years younger than me, i’m 19, shes 16, so i’m just here to say that the age gap closes when people get a little older and start to realise people are people and if you like them and get on with them then the age they are makes no fucking difference. hang on in there honey, it does get better xx

  • A Beautiful Tragic February 28th, 2013 7:26 AM

    Britney, I would give you a hug if I could, but unfortunately I cannot do it via web. I am only two years older than you, but I can completely feel your pain about what adults say about 13-year-olds. They judge young people based on those crazy fans of One Direction or Justin Bieber, when the truth is, some of you are pretty awesome. They will NEVER know who you really are. About being a misfit, I honestly believe that you should keep holding on. The most successful people in the world started off as the grass by the road, but look at them now. They’re on the top of the world, and so will you. Just do whatever makes you happy and comfortable.

  • Laura Lemon February 28th, 2013 9:41 AM

    Britney’s entry reminded me of that New Girl episode where Jess goes to court for a ticket, and Nick’s girlfriend person can’t take Jess seriously because she rocks a lot of polka dots or whatever. Totally been there. Ugh, humans.

  • Jasmine February 28th, 2013 9:13 PM