Live Through This

Big Girls Don’t Cry

Except when they do.

Illustration by Marjainez

I don’t cry. I mean, I’m physically capable of it: my tear ducts can produce secretions that have, on occasion, fallen from my eyeballs. But I’ll go to great lengths to prevent that from happening. I’m the queen of fighting back tears, whether they’re “watching Sophie’s Choice” tears or “someone just told me to projectile vomit onto my reflection in the mirror” tears (both examples are based on true events). No matter how justified these teeny-tiny droplets are, I’m not into them, and I’m definitely not into anybody else witnessing them.

When I watched my family put my dog Nigel to sleep, I didn’t cry—not that whole day, nor the day after. Crying wouldn’t bring my dog back. I loved him obsessively for 13 years—anyone who knows me has seen my photos of him wearing several different hats, and why he had so many, I don’t even know—but for some reason I was ashamed to really, truly let my anguish out, especially in front of anybody else.

When I see someone crying, I think, They can’t control their emotions. I assume they have failed to exert their will over their impulses, and that they must cry all the time if they’re crying here in this food court/car/in front of me, and that makes them seem weak and vulnerable, and that makes me uncomfortable, which makes me terrible at comforting others in distress. I don’t know what to do with myself; the thought of consoling them doesn’t even enter my mind. I feel like I’m intruding on something that should be private, and I want to run.

On the rare occasion when I cannot help crying, I do it alone. I don’t want to be seen or comforted; I don’t even want anyone to know that I’m crying. When I feel my eyes tear up in public, I feel ashamed, like I’m playing into some of the worst sexist stereotypes: that I’m weak, emotional, “too sensitive.” I don’t want to be those things. I want to be stoic. Did Susan B. Anthony cry because she couldn’t vote? Did Rosa Parks cry because she couldn’t sit in the front of the bus? It doesn’t sound like it. They acted, instead of just emoting. I can’t remember ever having seen Hillary Clinton cry, but when she does, entire articles are written about it. I’m not Hillary Clinton (duh), but I get the message: to be taken seriously you have to be serious. You know how in A League of Their Own Tom Hanks yells, “THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL”? Well, I think there’s no crying in life.

Only there is. During my first semester of college in New York City, I went through a tough period that I’m pretty sure every student experiences. I missed my family. I was stressed out about keeping up with a tougher course load and my extracurriculars. I started to doubt my abilities as a writer, and began to hate everything in my life. I also felt like the loneliest person in a city full of people. But I didn’t think any of this was reasonable. I was privileged enough to attend a great school. I had fantastic friends. My problems were trivial in the scheme of things. Yet I had these feeeeelings, and they caused a mixture of water, oil, and proteins to pool around my eyes.

One afternoon, after a pity party of a day, I went to Central Park to clear my head. I had just taken a midterm exam that I thought I failed even though I had studied very hard. I felt like a failure in every respect—all I could think about were my many flaws—and I started bawling. I hid under a big pine tree for privacy, and I hugged the trunk of that tree and just let it out. At first, I chastised myself for acting like a baby, but then I realized something: it felt good. I didn’t care if that toddler was staring at me. I needed this, and it was happening whether I liked it or not. I went back to my dorm feeling so much better; suddenly a botched midterm didn’t seem like the end of the world.

I read somewhere that you become a New Yorker after you’ve cried on the subway. Well, I am a New Yorker a bajillion times over. After that day in Central Park, I cried on the G train, I cried in restaurants, I cried in elevators, I cried in H&M. Each time it was the result of an overwhelming combination of anxiety about my schoolwork and estrangement from my peers. I didn’t get along amazingly well with my roommates, and I wasn’t connecting with anyone else at college. On top of all that, being in the city made me feel even more isolated, because everyone seemed to be doing everything without me. It was around this time that—swear to god—I bought a handkerchief. And every time I cried, I felt better. Crying, I finally figured out, doesn’t need 100 heartbreaking justifications—it’s OK to do it just because you feel like it. I’d been so caught up in what I thought other people would think of me that I wouldn’t grant myself any release from my sorrow. I was keeping everything inside, and it wasn’t good.

I still have to remind myself that it’s OK to cry, and there are still places that I don’t think would welcome my tears. I hope never to cry in class or at work, because I worry my credibility would suffer. I still believe that self-control is important, and that a thick skin is valuable in most situations. But I can’t be afraid to express my sadness in public just because people are sexists. And I’m not a traitor to feminism if I weep after watching the Christian the Lion video. I mean, have you seen it? Don’t worry, you can borrow my handkerchief. ♦

57 Comments

  • jenaimarley February 11th, 2013 11:13 PM

    Aww Hazel, this is so fantastic! Thank you!

    1) I notice that I bottle up all my crying for months and then suddenly it hits me out of nowhere and I cry because of the littlest things. It’s embarrassing and I can’t control it but I’ve learned to except it and let it out because it really is so healthy.

    2) You talk about New York a lot and I’m considering going to college there next year (or the year after if I do a gap year in China but) I’ve heard a considerable amount about feelings of isolation and tough skin…Do you feel you’ve overcome those negative aspects of the city and are free to blossom in all it’s glory (and if so HOW?)

    xoxo

    • Hazel February 11th, 2013 11:55 PM

      New York is an amazing place for me now because I stopped seeing it as a place of loneliness and more of a place that is filled with potential friends. I don’t think my negativity was rooted in NY, it was related to other things and the city just seemed to magnify them. But NYC is a great place to go to school albeit an untraditional one.

      • I.ila February 13th, 2013 12:26 PM

        I totally understand this. I live in the city, and I always feel like everyone knows where they’re going and doing and I just feel judged. So I end up going to places like Barnes and Noble when I randomly start crying, because I don’t want to get on the bus/train.

  • lilblucherrygrl February 11th, 2013 11:31 PM

    Reallyyyy liked this post. I had a problem with crying in recent years. I figured after my mom stopped drinking and things weren’t as bad in my house that I didn’t have good enough reasons to cry. Which I’ve found out to be bullshit. Even when you’re an adult, trust me, there are plenty of reasons to just crumble and cry for awhile.

    I’d make up excuses like “I don’t have time to cry”. Literally. I seem to cry right before I have to go to work or run errands or meet up with someone so I would just pace around the room yelling at myself to get it together cause I don’t have time for that shit. And I’m happy to say I’ve tried to make time lately. If I feel frustrated even at the most seemingly insignificant thing and I need to let it out, I cry(or at least attempt to). Cause bottling it up never works and before you know it you’ve been ignoring everything that has pissed you off and upset the hell out of you for months. You can be a seriously tough cookie and still need to cry occasionally. I feel like it’s a way of admitting to yourself that “Yeah, life is tough. But I can’t just ignore how I feel about it.”

  • lovelyhippo February 11th, 2013 11:33 PM

    I also bottle up my feelings because I think they are weak and make me feel so weak.

  • gloglo February 11th, 2013 11:47 PM

    I have a question, when you were crying in public, does some people asked you what’s wrong, how did you deal with it?

    • Florencey February 13th, 2013 11:33 AM

      if you don’t want to explain to them, tell them you’ve just had a bad day, usually works for me.
      although sometimes, if they seem like they genuinely care, it can feel ridiculously good to tell a stranger your problem, because then you’re reminded you live in a world where someone will take time out of their day to listen to a random crying girl :)

  • jiggz February 11th, 2013 11:51 PM

    CRYING IS THE BEST -fellow emotional new yorker

  • raggedyanarchy February 11th, 2013 11:53 PM

    I also cried upon watching the Christian the Lion video. I was, I admit, a vulnerable nine year old watching Animal Planet on a Saturday afternoon because I had no friends. But did you see the hug! The hug! I mean…
    Anyway, I used to be a big cry-baby. Like, I cried when I watched Disney movies. Disney movies!

  • Bug February 11th, 2013 11:54 PM

    As a college student in NYC right now, all of this is me :(

    It’s only recently I’ve come to terms with the fact that I love New York, but the ‘New York attitude’ is really a drag. Sure, I can handle people being rude to me, but combine that with feeling lonely and an outsider just makes me miserable.

    Anyway, I cry fairly often. I guess that was my point.

  • cherrycola27 February 12th, 2013 12:11 AM

    Once again Rookie, you read my mind.
    I’ve been thinking a lot about crying! Some weirdo birth control hormones (at least, that’s what i think it is) mixed with the fact that I had to be the one to put my dog down while my family was on vacation has made be a big sack of tears the past few days. I cried on the phone to the vet, at the vet, and in the car on the way home. Later, I cried in front of my boyfriend because he said he wasn’t sure if he could come over that night. Then I spent the rest of the day worrying he’s think I was too fragile and emotionally unstable. Well, tears are tears! You can’t always keep feelings inside, and everyone feels that way sometimes!

  • ElizabethElizabeth February 12th, 2013 12:16 AM

    Ugh, and you don’t want to cry because others (especially family members, during hard times in which the entire family is affected…) could be just so TAPPED OUT *taps inside of arm, where your veins are* and you get scolded or ordered to do New Age-y visualization exercises to “kill the them in your mind and bury them”. A note on this last bit: When you’re struggling through negative emotions over any issues at all, counselling is so, so crucial. You need to hash it out and get to the root of things in whatever way you feel best (counselling, working it out in yourself in various ways, talking to people who could provide insight who AREN’T tapped out).

  • Emma February 12th, 2013 12:23 AM

    I cry so often. Usually it isn’t for one reason- just the stress of my life! but it DOES feel so good afterwards.

  • AndreaGG February 12th, 2013 12:24 AM

    Ugh, this is so true. My problem: I always feel like crying at the most inappropriate places. And my face gets all red and awkward, so I try really hard not to cry in public. Plus, whenever my period is about to come, I just can handle it and cry for the stupidest reasons, so I bottle it up and cry myself to sleep.

  • birdy February 12th, 2013 12:33 AM

    I used to never cry, like ever. In fact I still don’t cry when watching any movie (which I’m proud of) and I consider myself pretty thick-skinned. But HOLY CHEESE when I came to college, all of a sudden I couldn’t hold feelings in anymore. I would cry whenever something seriously challenging poked its head out… and it turns out I had a lot of demons to face! But on the bright side :) I am the ninja of crying. I can cry silently in class, in the front row, and neither my professor nor my classmates will have any idea. Bam. :)

    • kaylamb February 12th, 2013 1:04 AM

      You are my crying hero. I bow to your crying prowess.

      • birdy February 13th, 2013 11:49 AM

        hahahahahaha why thank you :)

  • kaylamb February 12th, 2013 1:03 AM

    I’m working full-time and going to school full-time, and lately the stress has really been getting to me. The most inopportune moments are when the waterworks start and by the time I get somewhere quiet (bathroom, car, etc.) the tears dry up. But then the feeling comes back later. Craziness! I just need a big crying session to get it all out. lol

  • roxeyz February 12th, 2013 1:19 AM

    I 10000% loved this post
    so please allow me to share a story, i am asking for help/advice from any fellow rookie who reads this :3
    I had something pretty similar happen to me. I always wanted to hide my tears, i mean i know no one likes crying in public but i was strictly against it. for years i would shut down my urge to cry and not let it happen even in private.
    Then one day i exploded and what i never wanted to happen blew up in my face tenfold.
    I was in a time of my life when every possible aspect of my life was dissovling around me and there was very little i could as means of distraction or comfort. i was doing a self reflection type of presentation when i kinda broke down and ended up having a panic attack that caused me to hyperventilate, trigger an asthma attack as i sobbed and ran out of class. it was terrible and humiliating and made me feel sick. i was what i always wanted to avoid and yet now my entire class saw me be weak and emotional and a bit crazy really.
    Im here asking for help because i still don’t know how to cope, i now know what i was doing and how i handle crying is wrong but i’ve done this for so long that i have no other way and im not sure how to just let my self cry.
    IF ANYONE HAS SUGGESTIONS OR ADVICE OR EVEN THEIR OWN STORY I WILL NOT LAUGH/JUDGE I PROMISE. i just really need a rope so i can start and learn how to deal in a healthy way.
    Thanks <3

    • Aurora February 12th, 2013 7:29 PM

      Oh, girl, trust me, you are not the only one. I cry at like everything. For example, today at school I got in a big fight with my girl gang during lunch and I didn’t know where to go, so I would up sitting at a picnic table with four pretty nice outcast-y boys that I hang with sometimes and I figured wouldn’t laugh too much. They started a group hug and all gave me advice on what to say to my friends without breaking down. It was amazing, and it shows that people may be more sympathetic than you think. Don’t know if I helped, but I hope I did.
      Internet hugs and Kleenex,
      Aurora :P

    • Florencey February 13th, 2013 11:41 AM

      oh god, i’ve had more crazy-person breakdowns in class than i can count. the best thing i can think of is when something happens that makes you want to cry, instead of bottling it up, calmly put your hand up and ask to be excused. then get yourself to a bathroom, lock the door and bawl. that’s what the girls toilets are basically there for in secondary school- fully equipped with tissues, a flush to drown out the loudest sobs, and cold water to help get rid of the redness and to calm yourself down.
      read the ‘how to look like you weren’t just crying’ rookie article (i think it’s linked below this article), and make your way back to the class looking super cool and together.
      yeah, so it won’t happen this cleanly, i normally start crying way before my hand goes up, but it’s a good basic plan.
      also, don’t attach so much negativity to crying. try and get even a bit casual about it- everyone cries, who caaares man? (repeat this mantra whenever someone mentions you look like you were crying).

  • nerual February 12th, 2013 1:24 AM

    Hazel!! I’m a freshman in college too. Sometimes I feel like my emotions just snowball into a giant soup of feels, you know?! Anyways, I hope you’re having a better time this semester.

  • Jenny February 12th, 2013 1:28 AM

    This is beautiful, Hazel!

  • Kasey February 12th, 2013 1:37 AM

    A couple weeks ago was the first time I openly cried (not just tearing up and sniffling, like openly SOBBING) in front of someone in six years. I was in my best friend’s car, talking about a long string of incidents that resulted from a plethora of defense mechanisms and one gigantic fear of VULNERABILITY.

    I started getting choked up and tried to regain composure when my friend looked at me and told me that I could cry in front of him and that he didn’t think I was a weak person. HE GETS ME OK ♥ That’s the point where I absolutely lost it, I let go and months of bottled up emotions poured out. It was definitely a liberating experience to say the least.

    Crying in front of people who care about you is a really really good thing.

  • alicekazam February 12th, 2013 1:39 AM

    This article makes me want to cry because it resonates… it really does

  • theola February 12th, 2013 3:42 AM

    cant tell you ho much i LOVE your article! actually i love all the articles on rookie!
    sadly, its just the opposite with me. I cry at the most insignificant of things, i cried while watching Dumbo(the disney movie); titanic;million dollar baby and soo many other movies, I cry when I am really angry, I cried (a lot) when i recently lost my kitty, i cry when i ahve a fight with someone, i cry anywhere, anytime and it makes me feel so digusted of myself ! I hate being a crybaby!!! i feel so weak but i just cant help it…

  • Florencey February 12th, 2013 5:13 AM

    i thought the same thing about crying in public, the only difference is i have the worst crying control ever. i cry when i’m angry, i cry when something jumps out at me, i cry when i’m stressed, i just cannot hold it in. any tips? haha
    however, sometimes this comes in useful. i once missed my train home and all the subsequent trains after that (i had a couple of changes) at my birthday, after i’d just started uni and had glandular fever. the way grown men fear being confronted with a crying girl is a very powerful thing! all these lovely blokes working on the trains helped me get home without any valid tickets, and i’ll be forever grateful because at that point in my life i was completely overwhelmed.
    then i cried because people were being so incredible -.-

  • sissiLOL February 12th, 2013 7:09 AM

    This article is so perfect and true!!!!!!!

  • ClickClaire February 12th, 2013 7:48 AM

    This was beautiful.

    I don’t cry often. I unconsciously built this tough girl facade from the various screwed up experiences I had growing up. When I share my stories and feelings with friends, I realize that handle it with a humorless sarcasm, that masks the sadness I truly feel.

    Interestingly though, I cry easily when watching movies, especially when it involves a storyline close to my own. Maybe it is my way of releasing the pent up feelings. I don’t know.

    I guess I’m at that point in my life that I am proud that life cannot make me cry that easily, but at the same time I am not ashamed to be seen bawling over some tv show.

  • soretudaaa February 12th, 2013 8:21 AM

    Bahaha I’m the queen of crying in public places (my count is: college, the bus, food courts, parks, walking down the street, church, and of course, the NYC subway)

  • Saana V February 12th, 2013 8:52 AM

    I used to be like that, never cried, but i realized that is easier to cry about everything. I cry when I drop my pencil or when I don’t know how to answer to a math problem – almost every time it’s just fake crying (I just make a sad face and let out these awesomely realistic sobs. no, not really realistic) but when I really feel like crying it’s not that big deal, because everyone thinks about that one time when i cried over something meaningless.

  • babyybat February 12th, 2013 8:57 AM

    I feel like I cry all the time. I hate it, I feel powerless and angry when I cry. This article was great!

  • Gabriel February 12th, 2013 9:13 AM

    Growing up I dealt with emotional insecurity and ’til now I still get lapses. Just today I was having lunch with my grandma and had to rush to the bathroom because I can feel the waterworks coming while thinking abt what has been bothering me. After that I felt really good. I’m a boy by the way. Hi rookies! :)

  • Abby February 12th, 2013 9:47 AM

    GUYS I’m seriously the complete opposite… I’m so bad at holding back my crying lol. Also… NO shame in a hankercheif… when I went to college I was standing in the computer room of my dorm and I was crying because my mom was crying and my dad gave me his hankercheif, and when I tried to give it back to him he looked at all the mascara smeared on it and was like, “Keep it. You need it more than I do.” And it was JUST LIKE IN NARNIA GUYS and we laughed and whatever, but I carry that hankercheif ever day and I use it when I cry lol. NO SHAME HERE.

  • enthusiastictruckdriver February 12th, 2013 9:48 AM

    I’ve always felt that I’m not entitled to cry–my life has always been great, there haven’t been any problems in my family, I’ve been healthy and happy. In fact, I’ve been known at my school as the bubbly and enthusiastic one. I guess teenagerhood hits everyone hard, though, regardless of what a happy person you usually are. Ever since I’ve entered high school, every one in a while I just come back home and cry, for whatever reason. I feel like I’ve stopped enjoying school and begun feeling confused and miserable most of the time instead. I feel really guilty every time I feel miserable or break down crying–like I’m being ungrateful for all my health and wealth and whatever, but most of the time I don’t cry because I’m sad–I just cry because I’m confused and I’m not really sure what I’m feeling. I guess this article made me feel less guilty about feeling whiny and teenager-y every once in a while.

  • Hannah February 12th, 2013 10:25 AM

    I love this article. I personally have no problems with crying, but my best friend does, and I totally see a way she could be thinking now.

  • dindersbdinders February 12th, 2013 10:57 AM

    Just heard this awesome podcast on bitch magazine about social construction of gender based on a pseudo-science understanding of hormones. They talked about how everyone, regardless of sex or gender, is hardwired to cry in response to any extreme emotion (not just sadness). The only difference is, estrogen allows the tear ducts to flow more easily. So one sex is crying on the outside, the other on the inside, but neither is more emotional.

  • GildedLocks February 12th, 2013 12:48 PM

    I’m the opposite; I’ve always been terrible at holding back my tears, even if I can logically tell myself that something isn’t a big deal. Some times I think that I might have social anxiety, and certain situations just trigger irrational tears for me.

    Anywho, I loved this piece. I love the concept of crying in H&M. So far since coming to my university, I’ve cried in my dorm, in the library, along the Huron riverbank, and in the fabulous new Broad Museum of Contemporary Art.

    PS I hope I didn’t post that photo of a pug wearing a huge historical dress on your facebook wall right around the time that your pug had to be put down!! :<

  • tashu February 12th, 2013 2:03 PM

    omg… i needed dis article so badly right now… even im in the middle of my annual exams… until last year. i never used to cry (lyk maybe 2-3 times a year !) but dis year was like a flood… i worked my ass off on my exams… bt we i saw da questions ppr.. i was soo nervous.. nd i messed da paper up… nd dis didn happen once… it happened soo many tymz :( and all da tym wen i used to get my marks… all my teachers wer shocked.. and dey wer lyk… “u study so well wat happened?? ” nd i wud b too shocked to speak… nd i went home… and cried lyk i neva had… but i ckinda calmed down aftr dat ..

  • lowwie February 12th, 2013 2:48 PM

    Hi Hazel.
    I can’t tell how much this post ment to me, I was bullied for six years when I started 3rd grade in Sweden and after that I went all blank. I didn’t feel anything for seven years.
    I did it to protect myself from the feelings I felt when I was younger. When my best-friend started hurting herself due to bullying I did everything I could to protect her from it. When she got better she told me how much it ment to her that I helped her get through it, and I started crying like a sad four year-old. She told me via text so I sat crying on my room for two hours.
    From there I’ve only gotten more emotional. I watched a movie some days ago, it was “The perks of being a wallflower” and it was basically the story of my. I started to cry and I cried more than I’ve ever done before. my boyfriend found me in my room when he got there from school and I finally spoke to some on about my problems. He told another of my best-friends to keep speaking to me about my messed-up childhood when he had to go home.
    This helped me so increadibly much and I now feel better than I’ve ever done before.
    My friends made me realise that you can’t just look out for everyone else… You have to keep yourself going too. For that I am eternily grateful to them.
    Thank you for your amazing post, it made me realise that there are others that have been through the same emotional crash.

    Many hugs
    Lovisa

  • jessthetics February 12th, 2013 4:52 PM

    This is SO true. Sometimes you just need to cry and it makes everything better. I’m awful for not crying when things are actually upsetting, but crying at really trivial things (like Extreme Makeover Home Edition, or that time I accidentally stood on a creme egg…) xx

    http://www.jessthetics.wordpress.com

  • Lorelei February 12th, 2013 5:36 PM

    This guy just told me “I’ll thank a feminist when I can hit a woman.” I kind of want to cry and I kind of want to say something back but I just don’t know what to say to get my point across.

  • fromanotherearth February 12th, 2013 5:39 PM

    Wowee am I a crier. Though I definitely hold in a lot of the things that are bugging me, when I finally explode I’m like a river. Like seriously, it’s never ending and I’m reduced to a hiccuping hot mess until it’s done. I cried last week in the school bathroom and 2 weeks before that on a bus. I do a lot of crying about my grades (which sounds dumb) but no matter how hard I try in math, I often end up standing on the toilet seat in the locker room shaking whenever we get tests or quizzes back.

  • queenofnothing February 12th, 2013 5:49 PM

    Such a great article, so realatable! I used to be a person that NEVER cries. My friends always cried on sad movies and I didn’t, which made me feel like a weirdo. I’m very sensitive but I just couldn’t cry, I was holding all these feelings inside unable to express what I really feel. It was really terrible. And then suddenly something changed inside me and I started to cry a lot, in many situations – on a movie, in the bus, on my friend’s shoulder, in the shower (crying in the shower is literally the best!). It’s such a helpful thing to fight this overwhelming sadness that sometimes overcomes me.

  • haley_elise February 12th, 2013 6:30 PM

    This is like reading about myself; I’ve struggled a lot with this type of thing. I always felt like a baby when I cried and sometimes even looked down upon people who did cry. And I thought that emotional strength was adopting a stoic attitude, but after finally letting myself cry in several situations I realized that it’s not something to be frowned upon.

    Love love love this article!

  • Mayabett February 12th, 2013 7:09 PM

    I kinda have an opposite situation to this.

    I used to be really sensitive and cry all the time, and I kind of hated it because I felt like I was getting a reputation for it. I cried at school or in front of people constantly.

    Now I’m a lot more emotionally stable after combating some rough stuff, but I can’t seem to cry anymore. I’m used to defining myself as very emotional, but I can’t seem to feel sad in moments when everyone is bawling or happy in moments when I should feel happy!

    I guess I miss that emotion, and I don’t know what happened to it. Sometimes I see people being emotional around me and I’m not, and it makes me feel like a brick wall.
    What’s up with that? Anyone else the same way?

    • Lila Gracie February 14th, 2013 10:40 PM

      i get that sometimes. like, you really just want to cry, but you just can’t, it’s not happening. i started getting really angry instead all the time, because i never felt like i could get truly sad, so i’d be constantly angry? i don’t know if that makes any sense, but it’s really frustrating and i’m still trying to work out what’s going on. it’s that feeling of emptiness when you haven’t felt any strong emotions in a while, it makes you feel dead. it’s okay gurl, ur not alone, i feel ya

  • Aurora February 12th, 2013 7:34 PM

    Okay I am a crier. No shame here. I cry at bad test grades, fights with friends, forgotten homework, misplaced running shoes, et cetera. My friends are used to it and they are really nice about it. It might help that I go to a smaller, close knit school. Like seriously if someone is crying in the halls at my school they pretty much drown in hugs.

  • rivahgirl February 12th, 2013 7:47 PM

    I am a total crier. Seriously, I will burst into tears at the drop of a hat. Any strong emotion, whether it be sadness, anger, happiness, frustration, whatever. Tears. Unfortunately I can’t stand to cry in front of people, so I am awesome at holding back tears/stealth crying in my room :/

  • rockwrenroll February 12th, 2013 9:16 PM

    YES. YES, THIS A MILLION TIMES.
    Except for the stoic part. I can show every other emotion, as long as it’s not related to sadness. I just do not cry, I hate feeling that vulnerable, like I’ve lost control.
    I have yet to have my own Central Park breakdown, but I can’t wait for it, haha.

  • Pound of Cloth February 13th, 2013 10:55 AM

    Such a great article. So many young girls nowadays think it’s a bad thing or makes you weak to show emotion ♥

  • flocha February 13th, 2013 1:24 PM

    Thank you so much for this post, I never realised anyone else felt tlike this! I have always been really awkward about crying, and for years have always forced myself not to. It was only a few weeks ago when my parents announced they were going ‘on a break’, and I virtually cried myself into dehydration and my mum got worried because it had been so long since she had seen me cry.

  • Someone February 13th, 2013 3:22 PM

    XO

  • ♡ reba ♡ February 13th, 2013 6:11 PM

    just what i needed to read right now!! gah thank you for writing this xxxxx

  • hami February 14th, 2013 11:07 AM

    I cried at school today :–(( same, I wonder why it’s a thing that people are embarrassed of and why no1 wants to show it in public. Life would be soo much easier

  • Lila Gracie February 14th, 2013 10:12 PM

    i cried at work when i found out a friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer. i hadn’t reacted at the time, but two days later when my supervisor told me i had to work two extra hours, it was suddenly all too much, and i burst into tears. i was fine until something trivial like having to work late got under my skin, and then all the emotions happened at once. i actually don’t think i’ve cried that much since that day in the bathrooms at work, and i was so embarrassed by it, even though i obviously needed to really cry my heart out

  • Cutesycreator aka Monica June 8th, 2013 1:31 PM

    I have always tried to avoid crying in public; though, I admit I’m not good at holding back my tears at all. Though I am embarrassed to cry in public, I have absolutely no problem with other people doing it, and I think no less of them at all. This makes me confused as to why I am embarrassed to cry in public myself. In theory, what is embarrassing about crying? It’s a normal human reaction to sadness (or even happiness!), and literally all it is is a little water dripping from your eyes – nothing to fuss about! I hold this mentality when I see other people crying and like I said, I have no problem with others crying in public – yet why am I embarrassed to cry in public myself? Logically there’s no reason for me to be embarrassed about it but I feel embarrassed anyway and I’ve never been able to change that and it annoys me SO MUCH that I could just cry… good thing I’m at home, right? >.<

    Oh wellz :(