HEYYY SQUIRRELS! HEY LADIEEESSS!!!! WAZZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPP?????????? Was your week totally wicked? Have you listened to Carly Rae Jepsen’s Kiss in its entirety? Were you wearing a sequined fedora, a tutu, or anything covered in glitter this past Friday night? Because if you were, there’s a chance that you were with me—at the Justin Bieber concert. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) (;))

I had been looking forward to this momentous occasion for a week. I listened to his music nonstop every day and made out with my poster right before my brother and I left for the show. JK. But I did give it a little peck on my way out the door.

When we got there, there were SO MANY PEOPLE. Apprehensive-looking parents clutched their daughters’ hands as they made their way through the crowd, an ocean of tweenagers wearing anything with Justin Bieber’s face on it. Shout-out to all the ladies in the crowd wearing all purple (Justin’s favorite color, OBV).

This concert was somuchfun. Carly Rae Jepsen opened for him, and I died when she sang “This Kiss” and “Your Heart Is a Muscle.” These two girls got to go up and dance with her while she sang “Call Me Maybe,” and I got to seethe with jealousy. THEN, when I felt I could wait no longer, Justin came on stage. He didn’t really come on stage. He flew.

You guys, it was ridiculous. He descended in this harness attached to a giant pair of metal wings. The two girls sitting next to us, apparently veteran Bieber concertgoers, had warned us that everyone would lose their shit when he came out, but I was still unprepared for the craziness that is thousands of kids simultaneously expressing their sexual desire for Justin Bieber. They screamed, they jumped up and down, they shouted lyrics at the top of their lungs. Every time he showed a sliver of stomach, they screamed even louder.

I have nothing valuable to say about what Bieber is to young people that Kitty Pryde has not already said, but I can tell you that it was fun/hilarious/my favorite thing that I have ever been lucky enough to see.

Also important was that after Bieber sang “Boyfriend” he placed one finger in front of his mouth and shushed the entire crowd. This took a minute, but when all was silent, he lowered his hand and asked us, “Who wants to be my baby?” And then everyone basically fainted.

I’m going to be riding a Bieber-induced high for weeks. ♦