Live Through This

Whoppers!

Liars and the lies they lie.

Illustration by Allegra

“Mike, you go with Cara. John, pair up with Josh. Kelly, you’re with Sara. And Krista, you’re with…who didn’t I call? Raise your hand. Raise your hand…oh, Ryan. OK, Krista, you and Ryan can go together.”

Shit. It was eighth grade science class, and I was partnered up with Ryan for the week. Ryan (not his real name) made me nervous—he was popular (I was…not) and really pretty cute. He had curly sun-bleached hair and red, curving lips, almost like a girl’s, and he was so laid-back that he always seemed sleepy. He talked slowly and smiled slowly. I liked him fine; we got along OK (when he noticed I was alive.) That wasn’t why I didn’t want to be his partner.

The real problem was that Ryan was a known stoner. (I understood at the time that that meant he smoked weed, but I didn’t really know what weed was, other than A Drug.) Also, he didn’t do his homework. That meant I was going to have to do everything. Blah.

Ryan smiled his slow smile at me as we thwacked our books down on the black lab tables. We were learning about metric measurements that week, and our assignment that day was to convert different amounts of colored sand to metric measurements, using a shiny silver digital scale. The scale was thin and light and easy to use. Brand-new, our lab teacher informed us. State-of-the-art.

As the week progressed, I realized I had made a snap judgment about Ryan. He was fun to work with—he made me laugh while we measured things on our scale and he diligently took notes in tiny, illegible handwriting. By the end of the week, he had me giggling hysterically as we converted a chocolate chip cookie recipe to metric units. On Friday, the bell ending class rang, and since we were the last class of the day, we put the scale from our table back on the shelf with all the others. Everyone, including our teacher, pushed out of the room, talking about the upcoming weekend. I was genuinely sorry to lose my new lab partner, and I looked over my shoulder for Ryan, who was going back into the science room, calling down the hall to one of his buddies that he’d be right there, he “needed to check something.”

On Monday, two sets of scales were missing.

Our science teacher spent the entire period doing that “If someone doesn’t come forward about this, we will stay here all day” thing, but eventually he had to let us go. He said the principal would talk to each of us individually, that stealing the scales was a criminal offense, and that we hadn’t heard the last of this. I looked at Ryan. He looked at me with his sleepy eyes, and he smiled.

When it was my turn to talk to the principal on Tuesday morning, I sat down at his desk and told him I had no idea who’d taken the scales. The principal bent forward. Was I sure? They had reason to suspect that “someone” sitting “near me” had taken the scales. If, by chance, I did possibly know something about the theft, or even had a suspicion, it would be a crime not to tell them. We were talking a mark on my permanent record. Maybe even jail time. I was a good kid. Was I sure?

Here’s what was swirling around in my head: Ryan seemed fascinated by the scale. He always wanted to do the measuring, and he’d measure ridiculous things, like a Kleenex, from his pocket, marveling that the scale could pick up on feather-light weights. How much did I think one of these things cost? Ryan asked me more than once.

Here’s what I said: sure I was sure. I had no idea who the thief might be.

The scale lie was one of the biggest lies I had told up to that point. A whopper, if you will. No one ever found out who took the scales, and I spent several nights wide-eyed and awake after the incident, worrying about whether I would be caught somehow as an accomplice. Ryan knew I knew it was him. Every now and again, I’d be walking down the hall, and he’d walk past me and grin knowingly at me. Our secret.

That was certainly not the last lie I told; I’ve spent most of my 20s reassuring my (very Mormon) mother that I don’t ever drink. (I got caught with that one. She came to visit, and I had friends over, and I wasn’t thinking, and I suggested we have wine with dinner—“maybe a nice rosé.” My mom’s mouth pressed into a thin white line as she rose silently from the table and went into the bathroom, where she stayed for several minutes. When she returned to the kitchen, she icily ignored me until my friends left, at which point I was in T-R-O-U-B-L-E…until that haaaaay, I’m an adult and live under my own roof and get to make my own decisions, it finally happened!)

Everyone has lied at some point or another—it’s not necessarily great, but it’s not necessarily terrible, either; it’s human. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself lying less and less, but I’m still fascinated with lies. Lies have their own stories, and the stories behind them are inevitably interesting.

I asked a few friends (and a couple Rookie staffers) for some of the Biggest Lies They’d Ever Told. Here, for your perusal, is a roundup of whoppers.

“I had a two-year-long relationship and serious love situation with a guy who didn’t know my real first name for like the first six months of our entanglement. We met at a party, and, joking around, some of my friends introduced me as ‘Amethyst Rose,’ and I went with it because I liked having a secret identity. We had long since fallen in love before I revealed my real name. (He was angry at first, but he got over it fast.)” —Amy Rose

“My mom doesn’t know I’ve been smoking Camel Lights since I was 17. She thinks my ‘friends’ burned the ceiling of my car with their careless tobacco huffing.” —Carrie*

“My Girl Scout troop in high school really liked sleepover parties. Since it was Girl Scouts, our parents generally trusted us to stay at home and watch movies and make crafts or something. But really, these parties were just an excuse to sneak out and party with boys in the woods. To this day my folks have no idea.” —ANONYMOUS ROOKIE STAFFER, ooh who could it beeee???

“I was on my bunk bed, and I had a really cute girl over. I wanted to show off, so I tried to nonchalantly jump off the ladder. I ended up breaking my arm, but I was so petrified, terrified, horrified of going to the doctor that I lied about the pain from my mom for over a week. She ended up putting the pieces together, and one day at school, she took me out to ‘lunch.’ Lunch turned out to be the emergency room, where I got my broken arm fixed.” —Sally

“I started calling all of my teachers ‘kolotripa’ one day, which in Greek means ‘butthole.’ When they asked me what it meant, I said ‘sunshine.’ Best part is my mom totally played along and I continued to call them that for a full year.” —Amanda*

“This lie actually makes me feel like a good human being. I had a friend in kindergarten who had this peculiar bump on her forehead. Everyone made fun of her for it, and a lot of kids said she had it because her mom drank while pregnant (these kids or their parents watched way too many Lifetime movies). Anyway, she was visibly upset one day so I ran up to a bunch of her tormenters and told them that the reason she had the bump was that she was a unicorn, and when she came down to our mortal world her horn shrank into the little nub on her forehead. News spread fast and the disgust turned into awe; especially since my friend totally owned the lie and fully embraced her unicorn past.” —also Amanda*

“I had a roommate who refused to pay rent and bills on time (she usually purchased alcohol and drugs instead). When we were moving out and trying to figure out final bills, she didn’t pay me for weeks. One day, I saw that she left a bunch of her jewelry on the living room table. She owed me about $500…so I took one of her rings and pawned it. Straight up. She was looking for it for DAAAAAYS, and kept asking me if I’d seen it. ‘Nope,’ I lied, right to her face, time and time again. I promised myself I would go and get it back if she ever paid me, but she never did. If you use this can you make it anonymous? I’m still ashamed. (But seriously, she owed me a ton of dough.)” —another Rookie staffer hiding under the cloak of anonymity

“When I was a teenager, my mom was always in my business—sniffing my hair when I came home on the weekends, digging through my underwear drawer for evidence of rebellious activities, reading my journal—and so it was hard for me to get away with anything. I had to learn how to lie really well, and I would routinely lie to my mom for no reason whatsoever, just because I felt like it was none of her business what I was up to. I can clearly remember this one time when I was 15 and at McDonald’s with my friends. My mom called me, just a nice normal check-in call. She asked me where I was, and I said, ‘Taco Bell’ without even thinking about it. Then I realized I was so used to lying to my mom about EVERYTHING—even little stupid pointless things—that it had become completely automatic, my go-to way of dealing with my mom. It became something of a game. I still play it a little.” —Maddy*

I’m also interested in the lies people won’t own up to. When I started gathering lies for this article, I sent out quite a few emails to friends I’ve known for years— people I love and admire and hang out with and respect. You would not believe how many emails I got back saying, “I can’t tell you my worst lies—you’ll think I’m a horrible person.”

Pish-tosh. Most of us have told at least one whopper in our lifetimes. When a friend of mine tells me about a crazy huge lie they once told, I never think, “Oh, you’re a liar. Now I can’t believe anything you ever say.” Of course not! Usually I think it’s a funny story, and also that it’s kind of sweet that my friend can be open enough to (a) share a lie with me that they once couldn’t tell anyone, and (b) laugh at themselves.]

Like, seriously – what kind of fear of the doctor would you inspire you to lie about breaking your arm? Fascinating! Tell me more! (And make it good.) ♦

* The names of these liars have been changed to protect the truly guilty and ashamed.

49 Comments

  • Pashupati November 12th, 2012 7:16 PM

    I think it’s too cute that Ryan wanted a scale so much…

  • actressgirl November 12th, 2012 7:30 PM

    I wonder if Ryan wanted the scale to sell or to use to weigh out his weed?

    • DreamBoat November 13th, 2012 8:26 PM

      OMG I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING WHILE READING THIS.

      Since he took both, maybe he sold one and used to other to weigh his pot…?

  • I.ila November 12th, 2012 7:30 PM

    Hmmmm… when i told my mom that people (not me. not my friends) had been drinking at the cast party (after the cast party) she yelled at me and said i withheld information, and it broke our ‘trust’. But i think i just have an overprotective mother.

  • EmilyJn November 12th, 2012 7:44 PM

    I have a friend who is habitual liar and is constantly making up stories – usually things from the internet she pretends happened to her. I can always tell when she’s doing it but never have a clue how to respond…

  • Abby November 12th, 2012 7:49 PM

    I lied to my parents for a long time about my sister cutting herself. Well… they didn’t explicitly ask me, but I didn’t tell them, because she made me promise, and I was only 11 or 12. When they eventually found out they put her in therapy, but it didn’t work and again, she made me promise not to tell that she was cutting again. When she tried to kill herself, I thought it was my fault. I thought that if I had told them, she wouldn’t have done it. I found out later (years later) that her attempt at suicide was the fault of the therapist that she was seeing… he gave her drugs that you see in commercials on tv… you know, the ones that say don’t give them to teenagers or they’ll cause “suicidal thoughts.” But even after I found that out I still felt guilty about it. I still do, sometimes. Maybe if I had told them she wouldn’t have tried to commit suicide and our lives would be different. That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told. But… maybe it isn’t. Maybe the biggest lie I’ve ever told is going years without telling anyone this. But… I guess it’s not a lie anymore.

    • Pashupati November 13th, 2012 6:07 AM

      I’m so sorry this happened to you and your sister… the fault is on the therapist, not on you: you couldn’t guess about the drugs he was giving her, and if you did you would have probably been told to trust the therapist because he “knows his job” (though good therapists would care about their patient’s and their family’s worries about this.)

  • Claire November 12th, 2012 7:49 PM

    I am the worst liar in the history of ever. You know how Princess Mia in the Princess Diaries series has that thing where her nostrils flare every time she tries to lie? I just start laughing uncontrollably, which is probably worse. I went through a phase when I was a lot younger (like 8 or 9) when I lied about random, useless things (much like Maddy’s Taco Bell/McDonald’s lie), but luckily, I outgrew it before I had a chance to lie about more important stuff. When my little sister was a freshman in high school, she went to IHOP after school with a carful of junior and senior guys and lied to my parents about it…it was a huge deal at the time, but honestly, it’s just kind of funny now.

  • Ellla November 12th, 2012 9:18 PM

    Ok…Worst lie I’ve ever told is a BAD one. Basically, I’ve been secretly hooking up with my best friend’s college-age brother on the regular for the past five months and she still has no idea…I’m a terrible person.

    • Abby November 13th, 2012 9:02 AM

      Oh… that’s… kinda bad… But I I don’t think you’re a terrible person. It happens.

    • Jes November 13th, 2012 7:41 PM

      ohhhhhhh gur ;)

  • cleobea November 12th, 2012 9:23 PM

    I’m remembering a time I went to my friend’s birthday party. My parent’s couldn’t take me-busy with a soccer game or whatnot- yet I insisted on attending. So it was decided I would take the train to the closest station where my friends parents would pick me up. My mom was nervous about the whole thing because it was the first time I took the train to somewhere relatively far. She let me go, thinking I was taking BART, and called me often to check on me. I was actually taking Cal-Train thought; and it was only my second tim ever on it. I didn’t tell her because I didn’t want her to be upset and worried. Its silly, but I’m very close with my mom and I felt bad for not telling her. I still haven’t

  • Kasey November 12th, 2012 9:33 PM

    I’ve become an incredibly talented liar, and it frightens me a little.

    My best one was probably the time my friend’s mom found our conversation about smoking “the rest of our dank” that weekend, and called me. By the end of our chat, I had convinced her that my friend and I had never smoked, but had been considering it (“I’m not going to pretend that you don’t understand peer pressure”) and that her catching us was “a huge wakeup call, thank you so much” and we were never going to do it.

    The lie I’m most ashamed of happened pretty recently. In my civics class, we turn in current event projects every 3 weeks. I had completely not done one of mine, and finally decided to do it two weeks after it was due. I went to my teacher after class and said “I checked my grades last night and saw I had a zero for this, so I looked back in my bag and I guess it somehow got mixed up in my papers and didn’t get turned in. I know you don’t take late work, but I was wondering if I could get any sort of credit for it?” He told me that because I was normally such a good student, that he’d give me full credit. That paper took me from an 84 to a 94 in one day. I feel bad, since he’s such a cool guy and I definitely took advantage of him.

    • caro nation November 13th, 2012 8:46 PM

      I never, EVER feel guilt when lying about anything concerning school. I’m not sure why. I’m such an awful procrastinator, but I’ve always harbored an inappropriately resentful stigma against school, like a compulsive need to work the system at EVERY opportunity. I do it so often, my “good student” safety isn’t enough anymore.

      • Kasey November 14th, 2012 12:31 AM

        I mean, I always tell my friends: “What’s more important? Knowing where the final battle of the War of 1812 was fought, or knowing how to BS your way through everything?” 4 years and a 4.2 later, I can’t say that mentality has failed me.

    • Johann7 November 16th, 2012 1:04 PM

      Eh, deadlines are often a more-or-less arbitrary expectation. You wrote a paper demonstrating your knowledge of the topic: why shouldn’t you get credit for doing so simply because of the timing? Are grades supposed to reflect whether one is learning the material or one’s ability to unquestioningly follow instructions and meet deadlines? (Often it’s the second, though it tends to become less-universal in college.)

      • inkandhonesty December 9th, 2012 8:31 PM

        Not to sound like Hermione Granger, but in real life there are deadlines. At work, wherever you work, there are deadlines. Even in your regular life, such as paying rent or bills on time. So yeah , deadlines are important. If everyone did things whenever they felt like it, the world would be completely messed up.

  • Bene November 12th, 2012 9:39 PM

    I’m a compulsive liar of bad-quality lies… once, when I was on holidays in Paris, I emailed my friend telling her I had just been to the market, but, thinking about the basket I had taken with me, I wrote that I went “to basket”. This started a month-long string of lies to various people about the ginormous sculptural baskets all across Europe that made tunnels and hung over roadways, complete with photoshopped images of cars entering enormous upturned baskets on highways that I sent to nearly everyone who I thought might believe me.

    • Pashupati November 13th, 2012 6:14 AM

      That one is hilarious :D

    • Abby November 13th, 2012 8:57 AM

      That’s hilarious hahaha

    • Janelle November 13th, 2012 3:18 PM

      Seriously?!?! I laughed so much at this! I actually wish I was clever enough to pull something like that off. Hahah.

    • Cutesycreator aka Monica January 18th, 2013 12:05 PM

      I’m laughing so hard.

  • Colleen November 12th, 2012 10:52 PM

    I lied to my parents about my sexuality for a LONG time. One night, they lied to me and told me that they were going out of town. So, I invited my girlfriend over. Needless to say, they came home and found us. That was an awkward conversation.

  • Hannah November 12th, 2012 11:15 PM

    I lie about internet friends in class, by saying that they’re friends who moved away and became totally awesomer than the rest of my dumb school. Other than that, I’m usually pretty straightforward about things, because I have a horrible filter.

  • cherrycola27 November 12th, 2012 11:42 PM

    One time I was watching my friend’s house when she was away and I invited my then-boyfriend over the spend the night. Kinda weird, I know, but even though we were both 20 we both lived at home and were excited to sleep together (in the literal sense). Well this SO would not have gone over well with my mom so even when she called to check on me later I pretended to be watching a movie by myself. I’m pretty sure she suspected he was over anyways.
    I also lied to my friend about him staying over when she asked because I figured it would be better not to mention the fact that we fooled around in her bed!

  • raggedyanarchy November 13th, 2012 12:17 AM

    This one time, I had to write an English paper. Only on the day it was due, it wasn’t done, because I thought I had another day. SO I totally woke up that morning and went all “mommy my throat hurts my head hurts can I stay home pwease?”
    And she bought it. And got me an appointment for the doctor’s office, at which point I thought I was screwed. I would go to the doctor, be diagnosed with Totally Healthy, and my mom would have known I lied.
    Well, when I got to the doctor, I told him the same thing I told my mom. He took a strep-test. And then…apparently I had strep throat the whole time. No kidding! SO I got to stay home TWO extra days to get my paper done and avoided the excruciating there’s-a-knife-in-my-throat feeling of full-blown strep throat.

  • DreamBoat November 13th, 2012 12:36 AM

    I AM LIKE, A TERRIBLE LIAR. Seriously. It just sounds weird and like I’m lying. I’m a really truthful person anyways (A BLESSING AND A CURSE).
    I don’t even remember the biggest lie I told, because everything I ever tell is like, a really small fib. I do remember being 11 and being in my friend’s house. She was doing something else, so I explored her house for a while. I went to to her family bathroom, because it was super big and I wanted to see it. I opened the door a tiny bit, and her mom was in there (thinking back, it smelled like pot).
    She yelled “ANNA, ANNA IS THAT YOU?”
    So I left really quickly. She came out and asked if we had been near the bathroom, and I completely denied it. It may seem really small, but it’s always stuck with me as I kind of big lie I told.

  • erica84 November 13th, 2012 3:12 AM

    Haha i think im quite a good liar, for those little white lies when i dont want to go to school or when im late with a paper. Though mostly when i act sick i actually get sick lol

    http://gimme-brainz.tumblr.com/

  • ivoire November 13th, 2012 4:01 AM

    Oh my god you lied about breaking your arm?! That’s crazy.

    I can’t remember any HUGE lie that I have told. Mine come in the form of little white lies you know? Always to my friend or parent, like ‘OH YEAH I WATCHED THAT MOVIE!’ etc.
    Oh and of course, ‘I did my homework but I left it at home.’ Hahaha.

    • Cutesycreator aka Monica January 18th, 2013 12:06 PM

      I’m the same :D Only tiny fibs to be found here!

  • Sorcha M November 13th, 2012 4:01 AM

    When I was ten I pretended I’d started my period. (ARE YOU THERE GOD IT’S ME MARGARET!) Lied about going skydiving, about meeting Britney, about reading Hemingway, about really big stuff, I spent a week lying to a girl I knew that I was a Cambridge graduate doing research on them (WHY?), that I was the same age as various people I fancied (not a good one to lie about), that I’d done this looooads of times before when it came to kissing, that I was a Mensa genius, jeez, too many. Also I have a drawer full of school and doctor’s letters I’ve hidden. In fact, I lie so much I get therapy for it. And when I find out someone hasn’t seen a movie like Mean Girls, I’ll tell them about the time I met John Stamos on a plane. Yeah, it’s my biggest flaw.

  • Sorcha M November 13th, 2012 4:03 AM

    Oh yeah, and this one time I ran away when I was 13 to meet my internet boyfriend and pretended I was in town with my friend but she’s a good friend and told my parents out of guilt, who then told the police. That was embarrassing.

  • Chickinpickin November 13th, 2012 5:48 AM

    I told my parents the boys had gone home but really one spent the night :|

  • NotReallyChristian November 13th, 2012 6:07 AM

    Two-year long relationship with a man ten years my senior, and my parents don’t know. I’ll get round to telling them … my Mum has cancer right now so it doesn’t seem like a good time.

  • Pashupati November 13th, 2012 6:39 AM

    Mine is kind of an ugly story.
    Once I was kind of toying with folks from my school (well, my friends) on MSN (BACK IN THE DAYS!!!), under another account, saying I was a totally different person. That person knew a lot about them! And he really wanted to talk about his daily life to us, his rabbits and stuffs.
    Then they would discuss who it was really.
    I’d invite them in group chats, etc. with me and him, so he would bother me too, to make it looks like it wasn’t me.
    And one mother filed a complaint against “him”.
    Thankfully the complaint came to nothing, but I got scared shitless and never told anyone it had been me.
    One suspect had been our french teacher despite the bad spelling of the mysterious person (it was easier to do more spelling mistakes than habitual than to talk like someone else, AND gave the impression that I talked like someone else.)

  • Velvetmary November 13th, 2012 7:07 AM

    I usually tell my parents the “where have you been” lies. latest example: birthday party of my best friend, where I didn’t drink ANYTHING, and slept together with a girl-friend, who wasn’t even at the party, – at my best friend’s home. In fact, I slept with my now-boyfriend at his house.
    These lies I tell quite often. I tried to be true once, but since then, my mom was over protecting, so…
    yeah.
    I lie about my boyfriend (I tell them, we’re not yet a couple) and I lied a long, long time ago about my cutting problems.
    I lie to keep my parents safe actually.

  • miamitou November 13th, 2012 1:06 PM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-VCGZrhqJE
    …. did you work on a science project with Louie CK by chance?

    • Krista November 13th, 2012 2:35 PM

      OMG so this is a THING! who knew?

  • Yayo November 13th, 2012 1:16 PM

    I’d just like to say, I’m amazing at lying to teachers. Not about important things which will effect my future, but just enough to get out of trouble.
    Once I didn’t do my maths homework so I wrote some random numbers down, poured a bottle of water over my book so it was illegible and said it got wet in the rain on the way to school.

    Also, the regular ‘where’s your written assessment Olivia?’ ‘I put it on your desk yesterday’ ‘Oh. Are you sure? I can’t…’ ‘Sorry sir, but are you telling me you’ve lost my written assessment?!’

    I’m an awful, awful person.

    I also went through a phase a few years ago of lying on the internet. It was only really on those pre-teen forums, but seriously, those kids believed ALL the shit I said.

  • RockHatesMiriam November 13th, 2012 2:09 PM

    I have a friend who lies about EVERYTHING and is constantly making up stories to appear more interesting, most of my other friends are irritated by it but strangely, i dont mind! weird…..

    http://www.pompandceremony.blogspot.com

  • hellorose November 13th, 2012 7:40 PM

    i had a similar experience with teachers trying to get me to accuse someone. i was 14 and the girl in question had shouted at a young male teacher ‘OI PERVE’ from our form room window at breaktime then hidden so all he saw was me and some of my classmates also looking out of the window. the classroom was really noisy with everyone talking so none of us had actually heard her shout but we all got in BIG trouble because none of us would say who it was and the teacher had neglected to explain to our head of year that there was no way we could have heard the culprit in a noisy classroom.
    the thing is, she had just shouted something out on a stupid whim – obviously an idiotic and potentially very harmful thing to do, but she was also the type of girl who acted out a lot and was very disruptive. but if we’d told on her she would have been suspended or, more likely, ‘excluded’ and she didn’t deserve that. so since we hadn’t actually heard her, we covered for her. the teachers were HORRIBLE to me – made me feel sick and guilty and scared. they actually had no evidence it was this girl, but they wanted an excuse to get rid of her so they all but said ‘just tell us it was her and we won’t give you detention for ever and put it on your permanent record’.

    it wasn’t until a couple of years later that i realised they were bullying us.

    it was all very brian krakow in mscl in the episode where the gun goes off.

  • Starsplitter November 13th, 2012 8:36 PM

    When I was in high school I would lie a lot to my mom about where my ex-boyfriend and I were going. I would tell her that we were just going out for dessert or to the movies when really we were doing…things in his car. One time she asked what movie theatre the movie was playing at and we told her the wrong one (she actually CHECKED online to see). Obviously I got in trouble and she probably knew what I was actually up to. But I feel like its one of those things I needed to lie about. I wish I didn’t have to, but we never got privacy otherwise. Teenagers are going to experiment and have sex and if parents were just a little more open about it, all the lying and sneaking around wouldn’t have to happen.

  • Ben November 13th, 2012 9:55 PM

    i don’t really lie. My art teacher dose tho sometimes to tease us and we totally believe him. He had a bag of like the stuffing for teddy bears and he put some in hid mouth and chewed it and everyone thought he ate it, then later he spit it out and was like “i can’t believe you thought i ate it”. Also someone wanted him to play a song so he was like “after this one” and he started this song and then was like “most people don’t know this but the version on the radio is actually shortened and the original, which i am playing, is 30 min long and will go till the end of class” and she was like “damn!”

  • radrachel November 14th, 2012 4:44 PM

    One time, in my math class, I sat by a girl who was really gullable (like REALLY). So one day I told her I had knee cancer, and she believed me! I felt bad making light of a serious illness like cancer, but she believed I had knee cancer for two months! I even made up stories of having to leave class early for doctors appointments. Eventually, I gave up and told her that she was the most gullable person I had ever met (besides myself).

  • barbroxursox November 16th, 2012 5:58 PM

    One of my biggest lies actually happened pretty recently. My parents went out of town for almost 2 weeks, so obviously I was gonna have a party. I made sure to clean up after everyone (even the guy who puked in my bathroom, ew), and afterwards my parents were completely oblivious to what happened. In fact, I cleaned the house so well that they were proud of me for being so “responsible…”

    • barbroxursox November 16th, 2012 6:02 PM

      OH YEAH! I have another one. One day in middle school I was walking home with a few friends, and I randomly decided to tell them that I had an identical twin that lives in Florida. I said that my parents just told me and that I’d meet her over spring break of that year. Most of my friends soon realized it was a joke, but one of my most gullible friends didn’t know until we told her a few days later!

  • Razzer November 17th, 2012 5:09 PM

    I dont have a really big lie, but i have an awkward one. I remember when i was 13 and in the closet, i had looked at some gay pictures of these hunks on my brothers iphone when he was away from the phone. I however forget that when you open the internet again on the phone, it comes up with the most recent activity…..which awkwardly my brother’s manly friend found my gay search pictures! So my brother had to quickly lie about that, which must have been hilarious as he had not looked at his phone since i had last been on it, so it was a complete surprise for him!
    Anyway he then called me into his room and explained the story to me, of which when he was saying it I was thinking “OH NO PANIC!” in my head. So I then had to quickly make up this whole backstory of my friends coming over and messing with his phone and all the details, which he luckily bought, as at 13 i was really not ready to come out just yet!

  • Cutesycreator aka Monica January 18th, 2013 12:03 PM

    The one about the unicorn… I CAN’T

  • October in the chair January 24th, 2013 8:02 PM

    Wow! what a great article!
    I used to lie ALLL the time, especially with school-related stuff. Needless to say, when my dog ACTUALLY ATE MY HOMEWORK (???!!!), the teacher didn’t believe me..
    funny about that..
    Also, i had a friend who told people that she was a witch who could see people’s auras and hypnotise people.