School is like a seven-hour panic attack. It’s stress and holding back tears and hating everything and everyone there.
Some classes are worse than others. I can handle English all right, because it’s my only strong suit. But other classes, like honors biology, are a living hell. I failed a pop quiz, so my bio teacher gave me a study detention in front of the whole class. Like I need people to think I’m stupid and lazy.
During detention, he said I should serve another one so he could help me with my study habits. I told him I study well, I just have terrible anxiety, and I might need extra time on quizzes. “Everyone gets anxious,” he replied, “but does it help you to get all worked up about it? No. So don’t.” I nodded stiffly. It’s not that simple.
I feel like he’s singling me out. My dad says the world doesn’t revolve around me, and that my teacher probably thinks about me way less than I think about him, and that’s probably true, but he makes me feel terrible. I can’t pay attention for the rest of the day, because I feel like shit, and I want to just crawl into bed and cry, but I’m forced to be around OTHER PEOPLE.
The rest of the teachers aren’t this tough, but I still torture myself to the point of feeling too physically weak to be on time for my next class or do my homework after school. I go home and close the door to my room and stare at a wall and try to forget how useless I am at the only thing I have to do in the whole world.
School sucks, guys. It’s a dementor. ♦