Fun

Halloween and Autumnal Candy Roundup

No tricks, yes treats.

Circus Peanuts
What follows is an abbreviated version of my college application essay: Can I tell you about circus peanuts? It only takes a moment, and it’ll change your life. Circus peanuts are a paradox: they are colored like an orange, shaped like a peanut, and taste like something not quite like anything you’ve ever had before. Certainly not citrus—more like banana, or metal. Most people hate circus peanuts, unable to stomach the pillowy texture that fades to granulated sugar. If one is eating circus peanuts and a friend asks to try, it is almost not worth it to share. Inevitably, the friend will spit it out, and you will be out one of your peanuts. Rarely are they sought out for purchase; they lack the glamour of the high-profile brand candies, and pale in comparison to sweets bearing recognizable flavors. (Also, they look disgusting.) They are not peanuts, nor have they ever existed at any circus that I’ve been to. They lie in wait for someone’s idle curiosity to get the best of them. They will never go home. Go to CVS. Rush, rush to the circus peanuts. Grasp the package in your hands. Hold these soft, gelatinous vessels in your palm and contemplate the abyss. (I got into Wesleyan early admission!) —Lola

Sour Brite Crawlers (Trolli)
Unless I am in the mood for chocolate (AMIRITE LADIES), Trolli’s sour gummy worms are my first choice at 7-Eleven. I have lived on the same block with the same 7-Eleven my entire life, so I have Trolli worms a LOT. I literally got them today, just hours before writing this, totally forgetting that I would later be writing this. It’s fate! I am basically a character from Amélie! Anyway, when you make your own trip to your nearest convenience store to buy these worms because someone on the internet told you to, you might be tempted by the 99-cent store brand. DO NOT TRUST THEM. I’ve made that mistake more than once, and I’ve been disappointed every time. They taste like the sad, beige, half-melted version of Trolli worms. Like the Bon Iver of Trolli worms. (DISCLAIMER: I am not anti-Bon Iver, and his first album makes me cry very real tears.) When I think about all the neon sugar-creatures—sorry, SOUR BRITE CRAWLERS—that have gone through my body over the years, I feel as though each one has helped shape who I am today. —Tavi

Bat Dots (Tootsie Roll Industries)
Much as I love chocolate (and believe me, I love it A LOT), sometimes nothing hits the spot like chewy, fruit-flavored candy. This is why Dots have always been my go-to road trip/movie theater candy. They’re sweet but not heavy, and so perfectly bite-size. Last week, my mom, who knows my love of Dots as well as my deep passion for spooky, Halloween-y things, came over to feed my cat and left me a note saying there was a treat in the pantry. When I saw the familiar Dots logo on an unfamiliar black-and-orange package with a big bat on it, my world was rocked. BAT DOTS!!! They are the same shape and texture as regular Dots, but they are blood-orange-flavored (my favorite kind of orange!), and all of them are as black as Dracula’s hair. They’re soooo good, and they turn my tongue blue! I think I’m going to get a case of them so I can pretend it is Halloween forever. —Stephanie

Strawberry Pocky (Glico)
The picture on the box makes you think that there are going to be exquisite, tiny flakes of dried-up strawberries on this li’l stick of delish, so here is my question to Glico, the mysterious manufacturer of Pocky: WHERE ARE THEY? But who cares! I’ll eat anything sweet and artificial if it comes in the form of a stick. When I was a kid, one of my dream jobs was to be the person who gets to dip these little pretzel sticks into a vat of vomit-pink candy-coating. Dream big, kids. —Jenny

Men’s Pocky (Glico)
OK, this so-called “men’s Pocky” was kind of my ticket to dating in college. (Men’s Pocky is just regular Pocky, but instead of milk chocolate, you get dark chocolate.) Every time a cute boy came by my dorm room, I would whip out a packet of it, and my crush would inevitably be like, “Men’s Pocky? That’s hilarious!” And I’d be like, “I know!” And then my crush would be like, “What makes this Pocky so manly?” and I’d be like, “Who knows! Men are dark! Women make milk! HA HA HA!” and then passionate making out, etc. —Jenny

Halloween Orange and Chocolate Creams (See’s Candies)
Whenever I go to my friend Shaun’s house for dinner, I do this weird thing where I lean back on his couch, dangling my pointer finger to my mouth, and say, “Do you have anything sweet for MUH-REE?” He told our friend Aaron about this, so the last couple of times we all got together, Aaron brought me SUMTHIN SWEET. Most recently, he gave me these. I’m not an orange-flavor person by any means, but DAMN DIS STUFF IS GOOD! It’s super cute, too. Hello little ghosts and pumpkinies, come to my mouf. My only beef with these is that there are only TWO orange candies, and the other three are chocolate. —Marie

Lemonhead (Ferrara Pan)
This is a candy so intense that when you find someone else who can eat them without wincing, you basically adopt each other and form a new family. I survived on this tart little candy throughout my 20s, and I’m pretty sure I singlehandedly financed quite a few lavish vacations for my dentist as a result. (Brush your teeth a lot if you eat these, because the sugar literally lodges itself in every possible hard-to-reach space.) This is the perfect candy to bring to the movie theater—it’s both sweet and tart, and you can still get tiny boxes for 25 cents (these you should immediately jam in your pockets so the ticket-rippers are none the wiser). And not that you SHOULD, but you COULD also use them as little pellet-size weapons—the inside is chewy, but the outside is as hard as a jawbreaker. (You know how, in cartoons, people spill marbles so the bad guys will slip and fall? This is like the candy version of those marbles.) If you want to see how sausage is made, check out the Lemonhead site, which is another topic entirely. —Danielle

Pretzel M&M’s (Mars)
Can’t M&M’s leave well enough alone? Apparently not. The makers of the greatest candy on earth—the Peanut M&M—keep trying to make new sorts of M&M’s, almond and coconut and dark chocolate. Why? After Muhammad Ali clinched the Thrilla in Manila, he didn’t go on to kickboxing and wrestling and jousting and all other forms of hitting people in the face. No. He knew he was the greatest, and had the strength of character to believe that was good enough. Do M&M’s think we’re getting bored with the greatest candy ever and they need a new haircut and a cute new outfit? That is beneath M&M’s. Or, it should be. For all these reasons, I was prepared to despise Pretzel M&M’s on principle. But when I tried them today I was surprised to discover that they’re actually not so bad! Most important fact about Pretzel M&M’s: they do not taste much like pretzel. Second-most-important fact: they are not salty, as advertised on the package. The package is a lie. But they’re satisfyingly crunchy, and very close in taste to a completely different and wonderful candy: a malted milk ball. I’d eat these again. I would. But only if there were no Peanut M&M’s available. —Ira Glass

Whoppers (Hershey’s)
What the heck is malt anyway? I found myself asking this question recently, while popping Whoppers out of a milk-carton-like box and dreaming of my favorite soda-fountain concoction: ice cream, chocolate, and malt powder. Why is this chalky, tangy dust, made from the same ingredient as the cheapest alcohol available at the corner store, so satisfying? Why do I love to eat small orbs of it ensconced in a shell of crappy chocolate? Apparently, the flavor of the malt shops of my fantasy mid-century childhood comes from a combination of malted barley, wheat flour, and milk, which is evaporated into a powder. Roll that in a ball, coat it in chocolate, and then it’s a Whopper. I feel weird about this knowledge. Evaporated milk and wheat granules? Ew. I’ll never know why Whoppers are so good, but hopefully we can all forget about what we just learned together and continue enjoying these classic malted milk balls, wistful for the soda-fountain childhood we never had. —Dylan

Sun Cups (Seth Ellis Chocolatier)
There ain’t a wetter blanket than a talk about food allergies…so most of us who’ve been dealing with them for a while shut up, and then secretly rejoice when an edible version of something delicious and beloved that was previously off-limits shows up in the weird-food section. And only a select few of us know how good they are—everyone else thinks “gluten” is a flavor, so they leave our special discoveries alone. Probably my most treasured, commercially available treat is Sun Cups. Not only are they made of chocolate and sunflower dreams (aka sunflower butter), they also learned from Reese’s’ cupping mistakes: they dialed down the sugar, added a bit more salt, and there are no annoying side effects like going to the hospital because you’re dying from eating a peanut. —Liz Armstrong

Chocolate Eyeballs
Chocolate eyeballs are great in SO many different ways. Before you even eat them you can play “Would this eyeball fit in my socket?,” “Can I get the foil wrapping off all in one piece?,” and many other games. I happen to find them just the right size for my mouth, and candies that are a perfect circle always make me happy for some reason. Last year, I grabbed a handful and just flung them round my room. They roll a lot, so throughout November I kept finding them in the oddest of places, and it was nice to find all these little eyes that doubled as a snack. They just kind of melt in your mouth, like how I imagine A REAL EYE WOULD MWAHAHAHA. —Caitlin

Tootsie Flavor Rolls (Tootsie Roll Industries)
There are only three things in life that are certain: death, taxes, and a sad smattering of flavored Tootsie Rolls in your Halloween candy haul. No one talks about the humble Flavor Rolls, but they inevitably appear at Halloween and then vanish overnight, as if they had never been. Where do they come from? Why do only old ladies hand them out? What the hell is up with the horrible, horrible vanilla flavor? Flavor Rolls are the shape and consistency of regular Tootsie Rolls, but that’s where the similarity ends. They come in really random flavors, from (awesome!!!) orange to (surprisingly good!) lemon to totally mediocre cherry, and they taste like very bland pieces of Laffy Taffy. Adding to their weirdness, there’s something—don’t gag here—milky about them. Also, they make you drool. I don’t know why. —Krista

Chocolate Marshmallow Pumpkin (Russell Stover)
My parents have lived in the same house for more than 30 years, and their next-door neighbor is a lovely woman who has, over these three decades, become a member of our family. Ever since I can remember, she has ushered in each holiday season by presenting my sisters and me with a Russell Stover marshmallow something-or-other. My favorite would have to be the delicious milk-chocolate marshmallow pumpkin, a giant wad of marshmallow coated in a crackly shell of choco-goodness. It is the type of treat that you can only eat a few times a year, because it’s basically a sugar bomb. They are best if you put them in the refrigerator and let them get slightly cold. It looks and, in my imagination, tastes like something you could buy from the sweets cart on the Hogwarts Express. They are only available for a limited time, but if you do happen to fall in love with them, don’t despair—a shipment of chocolate marshmallow Santas and snowmen is most likely already on its way to a store near you. —Pixie

Hershey’s Milk Chocolate (Hershey’s)
I’ve always associated Hershey’s Milk Chocolate bars with the smell of smoke, the sound of a campfire, the crunch of graham crackers, and the molten gooeyness of charred marshmallows. (Why can I never figure out how to roast marshmallows in a campfire without burning them?) It was only recently that I realized that I’d NEVER EATEN ONE outside the context of camping. I was in a grocery store, wandering through the aisles, and I came across that familiar silvery label. Why not? I thought. I tossed one in the basket. I ate it in the car. I was shocked by how delicious it was—even without the rest of the s’more. Sweet and mild and a little smoky. Although maybe that smokiness was conjured, somehow, by my imagination? —Pauls Toutonghi

Pet Crocodile (Jelly Belly)
Oh, you like gummy bears, eh? You like Swedish Fish and Sour Patch Kids and all things gummy??? Neat. Did you know you can get GUMMIES THE SIZE OF YOUR FOREARM? Yes! There are super-size gummies out there, and one of my particular favorites is the Jelly Belly Pet Crocodile, which is over a foot long and about as heavy as a juice box. These used to be my treat when I would spend a Saturday running errands with my mom, and ohhhmigod, getting one of these giant gummy crocodiles is bliss. You spend forever choosing the crocodile with the best marbling of colors and flavors (not too much lime, lots of translucent red and yellow, thank you), and then you sit in the car and poke its wonderful squishiness, putting off the sweet, sweet moment when you’ll tear open the package and slide your heavy, strangely greasy, pristine crocodile out of it. There is always an odd sugar dust coating the surface of the croc, and you hesitate as it droops over your palm. Do you eat the snout first? Chomp off the leg? Slowly suck the tail until it glistens with your sugary spit? You nibble off a piece of your croc’s arm. Heaven. You get about one third of the way through the crocodile, and then…you can’t eat any more. You can’t even look at it. You slide it back into its package, vowing to eat some later, but guess what? You never will. You’ll find it under your bed three months later, a gummy croc-rock. —Krista ♦

90 Comments

  • Jes October 25th, 2012 11:13 PM

    KRISTA- YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND THE BEAUTY OF VANILLA TOOTSIE ROLLS. YOU JUST DON’T.

    • LochYnezMonster October 26th, 2012 1:08 AM

      RIGHT?? This article was pretty much perfect except for when IT DISSED VANILLA TOOTSIE ROLLS because they’re delicious.

    • erinaudrey October 28th, 2012 11:41 PM

      I’m glad I’m not the only one with an affinity for the vanilla ones. My brother would always just let me have his because he hated them, a fact I was never able to understand.

    • vintagewhimsy October 30th, 2012 7:13 PM

      I completely agree with you guys! Vanilla tootsie rolls are the best. Ever.

      http://vintagereverie.wordpress.com

    • newfaceofoldhollywood November 4th, 2012 6:44 PM

      Vanilla tootsie rolls are so good! I have a stash in my purse from Halloween

  • deemary October 25th, 2012 11:24 PM

    yo you guys are so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • marimba_girl October 25th, 2012 11:31 PM

    IRA GLASS! PRETZEL M&M’S ARE THE SHIT!! I THINK I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Stephanie October 25th, 2012 11:38 PM

    I live right by Ferrera Pan, which makes Lemonheads (as well as atomic fireballs, cherry bombs, etc) so my neighborhood smells like candy most of the time which is awesome and I can walk up and buy like a lifetime supply of Lemonheads for about five bucks fresh from the factory. Not to brag or anything but it is awesome. If only they made Bat Dots. I did buy 5 boxes of Bat Dots today.

  • noquierodecir October 25th, 2012 11:39 PM

    OMG I read this whole post so eager to read Anaheed’s contribution…until I realized she didn’t have one.

    Not that this isn’t totally rad–it is! But Anaheed’s food commentary is basically the best ever.

    Also, Tavi, I think you have an excellent angst-y poem going….”seven eleven all my life/trolli worms to ease my strife” etc. etc.

    • Anaheed October 26th, 2012 12:24 AM

      Aw thanks bb girl! I actually bought some candies to review this week but then I was TOO SICK to taste them!

      • noquierodecir October 26th, 2012 11:27 AM

        Oh no!

        I hope you feel better soon. And are healthy in time to taste test.

  • Imogen-Rose October 25th, 2012 11:40 PM

    These are all really great reviews (now I really want a Men’s Pocky), but where is CANDY CORN? If there is one treat I associate with Halloween, it’s candy corn. They may be waxy and cliche, but they still deserve some recognition!

    • DreamBoat October 25th, 2012 11:52 PM

      UGH I LOVE CANDY CORN WITH ALL MY HEART <3
      and yes, it deserved some recognition </3
      Have you tried the caramel version? IT'S SO GOOD AHHH LET ME DIE IN IT.

      • LochYnezMonster October 26th, 2012 1:03 AM

        I was going to say candy corn is like my favorite candy, BUT THERE’S A CARAMEL VERSION, WHAT?

        • DreamBoat October 27th, 2012 1:32 AM

          I KNOW, RIIIIIIGHT?! It actually has real caramel IN THE MIDDLE!
          skalajfhds;aDJOAWKPS IT’S SO GOOD.
          EVERYONE NEEDS TO GO OUT AND BUY THEMSELVES A BAG RIGHT NOW.

    • Dylan October 26th, 2012 12:05 AM

      AHHH SHIIIT I LOVE CANDY CORN

    • Hayley October 26th, 2012 4:07 PM

      Candy corn is beautiful. And if you eat it mixed with a handful of roasted peanuts it’s perfection. Like the inside of a Snicker’s bar, nommm.

  • Abby October 25th, 2012 11:42 PM

    LEMONHEEAADDSSSSS…. I love them sooo much. Also, I think circus peanuts are pretty good, but my dad hates them so much that he literally will be nauseated by the mere smell of them. That’s how I feel about Twizzlers and bananas. Unless the bananas are in banana bread. Then they’re delicious. But by themselves, I hate them. A lot. To the point that when I make banana bread I make my sister mash up the bananas while I sit in a different room so I don’t have to smell or touch the nasty mush. I know it’s weird. Don’t judge me. Also, I now have “Hollaback Girl” stuck in my head. I hope you all understand. This shit is bananas.

  • DreamBoat October 25th, 2012 11:47 PM

    I WAS ACTUALLY LAUGHING OUT LOUD THESE ARE FRAKING HILARIOUS AHAHAHHAHA
    And god, CIRCUS PEANUTS. No one ever talks about them, BUT I WANT TO DIE IN A VAT OF THEM <3
    Thanks for making my day (night?), Rookie! <3

    http://psychedelicdaisy.blogspot.com/

  • Blythe October 25th, 2012 11:55 PM

    Danielle–I can eat Lemonheads without wincing!

  • taste test October 25th, 2012 11:59 PM

    holy shit, I need some men’s pocky in my life! I had no clue they made dark chocolate ones. dark chocolate is my favorite. (seriously- I’m even one of those weirdos who likes that expensive ridiculously dark chocolate that’s kind of bitter)

  • decemberbaby October 26th, 2012 12:12 AM

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA, MEN’S POCKY.

    Jenny, that was the funniest review since Kevin Townley’s comment on Bunny Gummy Tummies and Friends from Trader Joe’s:
    “This looks like if you sneezed and it came out of your body you’d be in serious trouble.”

    (And yes, I did go back to that almost year-old candy roundup to find, copy and paste that review, because it still makes me laugh every time.)

  • Kathryn October 26th, 2012 12:14 AM

    I have so many things to say, so I’ve decided to put them in list form for easy reading:
    - YOU GUYS MAKE THE /BEST/ REVIEWS OF EVERYTHING EVER
    - circus peanuts are ok I GUESS but the texture and banana-like flavor throw me off. I’ve never had anything else with the same texture as circus peanuts.
    - maybe it’s because I’ve read her blog since seventh grade (I’m now in 11th) but I can usually tell which one is tavi’s post within the first few sentences. TROLLI SOUR GUMMI WORMS ARE MY FAV MOVIE SNACK.
    - I love it every time Ira contributes. It almost makes me feel like I’m listening to this american life! I can almost hear him. (creepy? whatever.)
    - Caitlin, you are hilarious.
    - vanilla is one of my favorite flavor roll flavors (it does taste kinda weird but I like it for some reason)
    - JENNY I LUV U
    - ok I just love all of you and CANDY!!!!

    • Hazel October 27th, 2012 2:36 AM

      I can totally hear Ira’s voice too!

  • whatnaomiloves October 26th, 2012 12:22 AM

    I’ve been looking forward to the candy review every since the last one. Yum.

  • julietpetal October 26th, 2012 12:24 AM

    Fun fact: you can get none of these sweets and chocolates in New Zealand! Except pocky which you can only get in Asian markets and costs about $5 a box, and Hershey bars which are also only available in Asian markets for some reason.
    You can get maltesers though which sound exactly the same as whoppers, but they are made by Mars.
    Has anyone had yan-yan? Kinda similar to pocky except you get plain sticks and get to dip them into a Nutella-like paste! Sometimes there is also sprinkles. Yum.

    • julietpetal October 26th, 2012 12:36 AM

      Also while looking for the right spelling of maltesers, I found this which is kinda silly but quite funny: http://www.guardian.co.uk/notesandqueries/query/0,,-6315,00.html

    • Abby October 26th, 2012 9:22 AM

      I’m so sorry, you sad, sad soul….

    • Nikkita October 26th, 2012 10:42 AM

      I’m from New Zealand too! I see Hersheys bars relatively often though; I think they sell them at four square? The cookies and cream one is so so good.

      On a semi-unrelated note I would be SO KEEN for a Rookie International Candy Swap! Anyone else interested?

    • Simone October 26th, 2012 2:22 PM

      I’ve had Yan-Yan! It’s really good–the sticks have sesame seeds in them, but only like a FEW sesame seeds, which is weird.

      I’m sad for you that you can’t get all this candy (especially Sour Gummi Brite Crawlers, which I also LIVED ON when I was Tavi’s age), but you must have some other cool stuff in New Zealand, yeah? Sorry to say though that I’ve had Maltesers (they have them in Canada) and Whoppers are actually way better (imho)…

      • Jenny October 27th, 2012 1:01 PM

        I thought I would LOVE Yan-Yan, because I love anything where you can dip a stick into gooey sweet artificial candy paste, but the tiny speckling of sesame seeds feels WRONG on a candy? And also somehow the dipping paste tastes off to me. Anyway, I love the concept but not into the execution :((

  • justbouton October 26th, 2012 12:25 AM

    “The package is a lie.”

  • estelle October 26th, 2012 12:35 AM

    The best is when you find one of those whoppers that is more like a milk dud.

    • Abby October 26th, 2012 9:23 AM

      OMG I KNOOOOWWWW.

    • raggedyanarchy October 26th, 2012 1:57 PM

      I live for those! The best ones in the package ;).

  • estelle October 26th, 2012 12:42 AM

    im going to do my own review of one you forgot.

    Mellowcreme Pumpkins (Brachs)

    These are the best. Every year I never think ill like them, and then of course i buy a bag and am totally and utterly in heaven. they are sugary and delicious! Pretty much like a candy corn in shape of a pumpkin- but that makes them better! they are thicker and therefore more fun to eat. If you’ve never had a candy corn pumpkin, the texture is that of a marshmallow and a crayon- weird, intriguing, and supppperrrrrr worth it!! Plus you can buy it in a 45lb bag for $21!! (http://goo.gl/1qR3w)

    THIS PRETTY MUCH SAYS IT ALL.
    “Brach’s Mellowcreme Pumpkins are among those rare Halloween candies which enjoy a cult following. When you need them, you need them. “

    • Abby October 26th, 2012 9:24 AM

      OMG I love those. My parents think I’m crazy, but I think they’re sooo much better than regular candy corn. They’re delicious.

    • DreamBoat October 26th, 2012 8:55 PM

      OMG I WAS GOING TO SAY MELLOWCREME PUMPKINS NEEDED TO BE ON THIS LIST

      YOU ANGEL!
      THEY ARE EVEN BETTER THAN CANDY CORN AND I SERIOUSLY WANT TO DIE IN A FIELD OF THEM

  • Adrienne October 26th, 2012 12:46 AM

    Oh my god the Trolli worms are the best!! I also LOVE Swedish Fish but, like the worms, don’t buy the cheap knock off ones! Whoppers are amazing as well.

    Pocky is good, but when I was younger I’d buy eat the little panda cookies with chocolate filling, and something called Yan Yans which are basically long cookie sticks which you dunk into chocolate dip. So good!

    http://theaverageasiangirl.blogspot.com

  • paarka October 26th, 2012 1:05 AM

    So I’m in college and feel totally uncool for being too lazy to check out this magazine before and I’m honestly pretty sure it’s the best thing ever. Like a more coherent version of thought catalog? plus more.
    i died when i read about the orange halloween creams
    also they sound amazing
    where can i get them to enter my belly

  • zhajean October 26th, 2012 1:07 AM

    the candy reviews are so good and funny!!! i enjoyed reading Ira’s! “The package is a lie.”

    czarina♥

  • Mello October 26th, 2012 1:36 AM

    Vanilla tootsie rolls are the best!!!

  • TessaTheTeenageWitch October 26th, 2012 2:14 AM

    WHY O WHY DONT I LIVE IN THE US? All we have over here is milo.

  • sedgwick October 26th, 2012 2:38 AM

    so like i once tried hershey’s chocolate because i was like oh yum-o lets be All-American now! but seriously, its gross. shits not even chocolate guys! is it one of those things where stuff is so gross that its good, like those plastic wrapped processed cheese slices? americans, please tell me. anyway, cadbury easily beats hershey’s, please i will take a caramello koala over anything, anyday. but Milka chocolate is definitely better than cadbury, there is a hierarchy dudes.

    • karastarr32 October 26th, 2012 5:54 AM

      OMG Yes agreed. I actually am American (Finally a citizen! Woo hoo!) as well as being British/Italian, so I am going to weigh in.
      HERSHEY’S SUCKS Y’ALL. It’s perfectly fine for a s’more, but other than that, it’s just… ugh. I do have to argue on two things though.
      1. KRAFT CHEESE SLICES ARE AMAZING
      and
      2. No, no, no. Milka is the same level as Cadbury. Then comes Ghiradelli, then Godiva, and then asdfsdglkj this amazing Belgian chocolate called neu haus. It was so expensive my family could only get three but sooooo worth it.

    • Abby October 26th, 2012 9:27 AM

      DON’T YOU DITCH ON HERSHEY’S WOMAN IT’S DELICIOUS. And it’s also one of the cutest towns in america (it’s in Pennsylvania, my grandpa lives there), and also one of the best theme parks EVER. I do like cadbury creme eggs at easter, but Hershey’s will ALWAYS BE BETTER.

    • Susie N-W October 26th, 2012 12:36 PM

      Hersey’s chocolate is TERRIBLE. It is good for s’mores only because it melts easily, is cheap, and the flavor is masked by the marshmallow and graham cracker.

    • Hayley October 26th, 2012 4:11 PM

      I read once that Hershey’s chocolate “tastes like baby vomit” and now I can’t eat it. Because yes, it does.

  • LilySew October 26th, 2012 2:53 AM

    This post makes me so jealous of all the wonderful sweets you have in the US. I suppose we have some nice ones in Australia too, like starburst fruit chews yummmmmmmm. And also – pocky is amazing and men’s pocky, hilarious. :D

    http://rebeccaandlillian.blogspot.com.au/

  • NotReallyChristian October 26th, 2012 4:51 AM

    so, are ANY of these available outside the US? I realise us non-US readers are a minority, but it still makes me sad when we get no candy love :(

  • rockslita October 26th, 2012 5:04 AM

    This makes me feel hungry.. Here in the Netherlands all we have is stupid candy.

  • kindofmaybealive October 26th, 2012 5:09 AM

    Aaaaaaah. This makes me miss candy so much. I live abroad so all american candy is RIDICULOUSLY expensive. I can dream.

  • emine October 26th, 2012 5:23 AM

    not a good post to read when it’s 4 am, you can’t sleep, and all you have in the fridge are various cheeses….

  • Lillypod October 26th, 2012 5:30 AM

    i can’t believe there’s no candy corn love here…
    i buy my sister a supersize bag of candy corn every year off Ebay, cuz ima good sister

  • ivoire October 26th, 2012 5:40 AM

    omg jenny you crack me up all the time!!!!!
    but srs, i have to try this mens pocky thing the next time i see someone cute.

  • Sandrine October 26th, 2012 7:17 AM

    This is going to be my first Halloween since I started reading Rookie. I’m getting so so so excited for it! My favorite Halloween candy has to be the eyeballs, too

  • Rae0320 October 26th, 2012 7:43 AM

    If I knew any of your addresses I would personally send you a box of English chocolate. This list is sadly lacking in the wonders of Cadbury – they have Halloween Screme Eggs this year, a gooey mess of heaven in a little chocolate egg. HERSHEY’S IS NOT THE SAME AND WE ALL KNOW IT.

    You’ve probably never tested the wonder that is Marks and Spencer Percy Pigs (and friends). To think you won’t even get to eat Snow Bites at Christmas actually brings a tear to my eye.

    • bewarethejabberwock October 26th, 2012 6:34 PM

      Oh my god. I’m also British and can i just say – Percy Pigs are MY LIFE.

      Also I saw Cadbury’s Screme Eggs in the local Sainsbury’s the other day, but I didn’t want to try them because I associate them too much with Easter. Creme Eggs are like literally THE taste of Easter.

      Oh God. Chocolate. (I’ve just had half a bar of Bournville and am on a bit of a sugar high, sorry for the weirdness). SUGAR! CHOCOLATE! PERCY PIIIIGGSSSSSS ARGH (have you tried their fizzy pig tails? Not as good as the original, but still EXCELLENCE).

      • Lillypod October 27th, 2012 12:20 AM

        cadbury’s screme eggs are the best!!! the taste exactly the same but the goo is green!!!!!!

      • karastarr32 October 27th, 2012 6:53 AM

        And there’s veggie percies too agh! :)

      • Rae0320 October 30th, 2012 7:33 AM

        It’s all too much. I NEED SOME CHOCOLATE. Just casually going to pick up a bag of PERCY PIGS after my NANDOS……….OH SHIT WE HAVE THE BEST FOOD.

    • InSmithereens October 31st, 2012 2:25 PM

      And Cadburys Halloween spiders… THEY HAVE BEEN MY LIFE FOR WEEKS AND I MAY DIE WHEN HALLOWEEN IS OVER AND THEY ARE GONE. They are solid chocolate with little rice balls in and are made of awesome and rainbows.
      (But Christmas will give us Cadburys Magic Elves that have popping candy in so all will be alright.)

  • raggedyanarchy October 26th, 2012 8:50 AM

    Yes, someone else who loves Whoppers! None of my friends share my love for these “malted milk balls,” and it makes me feel like a loner at the movies.

  • Skatapus October 26th, 2012 9:28 AM

    Lola, I adore that you wrote your admissions essay about circus peanuts. Now though I’m worrying that my essay for applying early decision to Wesleyan in a few weeks is waaaaaaaaaaayyy too boring. XP

    • Lola November 2nd, 2012 11:58 AM

      good luck good luck good luck! i’m pre-proud of you.

  • darksideoftherainbow October 26th, 2012 10:32 AM

    OMG your candy posts are THE BEST!!! i’m sitting here at work reading them and dying to myself because you guys are so effing funny. nothing makes me feel like more of a kid than getting the candy you guys review. i’m soooo doing that today. THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU GUYS FOREVER!

  • kendallakwia October 26th, 2012 11:01 AM

    CHOCOLATE-COVERED SUNFLOWER SEEDS 4 LIFE

  • kimchi October 26th, 2012 11:06 AM

    i really like how there were two bon iver references today. well… there were at least two that i picked up on anyway.
    also trolli gummy worms are the greatest. one day i couldn’t stop talking about them because i wanted to eat them really bad. at one point i couldn’t take the pain of not having them, so i begged my friend to take me to the grocery store to get some. he said he wouldn’t take me to the grocery store, but he said he had a bunch of gummy worms in his car because all my talking about gummy worms made him want to get some. basically everyone should talk about candy all the time, soon enough your friends will just start buying all the delicious candy you talk about, and they will be forced to share it with you.

  • Artemis October 26th, 2012 11:16 AM

    when you are brazilian and dont have almost none of these candies ):

  • Pashupati October 26th, 2012 12:40 PM

    Oh my god.
    The Trolli sour brite crawlers are there.
    Everytime I talk to people about these they don’t KNOW about them! But, you, people over the seas, you know about them?!
    WONDER.
    It’s like a magical link of candy friendship <3 <3 <3

    • Pashupati October 26th, 2012 12:43 PM

      I thought it was only sold in Lidl and Aldi and DM’s!!! THEY’RE TAKING OVER THE WORLD!

  • Susie N-W October 26th, 2012 12:44 PM

    The story I heard for Men’s Pocky is that sweets are girly, but dark chocolate is bitter so it is more manly.
    If you like Pocky, Google “deco pocky”- you decorate it with more chocolate and sprinkles.
    I love these reviews.

  • Nicole October 26th, 2012 2:02 PM

    don’t diss the flavored tootsie rolls, man!! one time some friends of my parents had this party in a rented cabin with tons of bedrooms and a bunch of people and kids, so when my mom went to the store to pick up soda she bought a giant bag of flavored tootsie rolls for us, like HUGE (which she regretted almost immediately when we started screeching and she got a migraine). there were about eight or nine kids and we finished the entire bag before the night was over and we were p much literally bouncing off the walls. it was AWESOME and i thank flavored tootsie rolls for that even though we would’ve gotten that excited without sugar, probably

  • Hayley October 26th, 2012 4:05 PM

    Ahaaa Caitlin. Before-candy games are the best. Playing with the wrappers is almost as good as the first bite. I am also fond of sorting my M&M’s by color in a tiny little graph.
    I also eat my candy corn in three bites, white-yellow-orange. Mmmm.

    • Caitlin H. October 28th, 2012 10:24 AM

      YES, all candy should first be arranged dividing up the color ratios. Then you start eating the worst colors and save the best till last.

    • Kathryn November 2nd, 2012 6:17 PM

      I eat candy corn the opposite way. hahah.

  • Bumblecake October 26th, 2012 4:07 PM

    I can’t wait for halloween! No trick or treating this year but still candy candy candy!!!

  • lianaisferal October 26th, 2012 5:36 PM

    “bon iver of trolli worms” omg omg i’m laughing so hard ahh

  • ohmytuesday October 27th, 2012 6:12 AM

    Maybe it’s just a regional difference…? I come from Singapore where we have this unspoken agreement that the only Hershey bar worth $1.60 is the cookies and cream milk chocolate bar. Everything else tastes fantastically like cardboard.

    America, y’all have the best candy and I declare myself jealous: I haven’t seen anything in this review in stores over here except for the cardboard/Hershey’s bar :’D

  • webbff October 27th, 2012 7:33 PM

    I’m sorry but tootsie flavor rolls are very… strange tasting. I have still never been able to eat one without drooling. My mom got a whole pack from a party once full of those nutty mary jane peanut butter cup things and flavor rolls. They taste weird!?

    Those bat dots are the greatest.

  • Whatsername October 27th, 2012 11:19 PM

    POCKYYYYYYY

    {btw, you forgot the Reese’s pumpkins. fffff I will trade anything in my candy basket for one.}

  • carofine October 28th, 2012 5:00 PM

    omg Men’s Pocky. I need that for college! Japan makes the best stuff.

  • Aurora October 28th, 2012 5:34 PM

    AHHH this post <3 I'm hoarding all my candy for NaNoWriMo so I can sugar high my way through November.
    P.S. I was at Wal Mart today and got sour worms because I was thinking of you, Tavi.

  • teevee October 29th, 2012 6:01 PM

    Gummi Frogs!? (C’MON! – Gob Bluthe)
    They’re all apple flavored but not extremely sour! Like slight enough to wake up your jaw, not enough to distract you from the green chewy goodness.

    I love this article though. Made my stomach growl for the candies I’ve holding my self back from this season NO REASON. Men’s Pocky & Circus Peanuts 4 EVA!

  • Indiegirl25543 November 9th, 2012 10:08 PM

    this blog kills me i sware i was just dying laughing all alone and my family probably thinks im a crazy person — vanilla tootsie rules–bat dots are BLOOD ORANGE FLAVOR you just blew my mind– circus peanuts also hold a special place in my heart bc i dont know why i have a strange affinity to eat them– and lemon heads really are a childhood memory and i can pretty much eat a vat of them and then realize that my mouth will never taste again… but its worth it!!! this is the best candy review ive ever laid eyes on!~!!!

  • EvaLavender November 17th, 2012 11:50 PM

    Now I’m having post-Halloween depression since I didn’t go trick or treating! Too rainy and cold!

  • Acid-moon December 26th, 2012 12:41 PM

    I know this is an old article, but I was really reminded of it today when my neighbor gave me a big bag of “limited edition winter favorite” tootsie rolls. They were ALL vanilla, lol.

  • Cutesycreator aka Monica December 28th, 2012 8:07 AM

    I LOVE CANDY