Dear Diary

August 22, 2012

Greetings, salutations, and questionable pork. (And please welcome new diarist Caitlin!)


Anywhere you grow up will disappoint you in some way. Seattle was often frustrating for me, because DUH, I spent my adolescence here—everything was frustrating. But I turn 20 on Friday, and I don’t have room for teen angst anymore. While there are plenty of things that can never be adulted out of me, I decided this week that it’s time for me to retire my angst Seattle. And the minute I stopped resenting it, I fell all the way in love with my hometown.

I’m there now, going through old stuff because my mom is moving in with her boyfriend on Saturday. This is the weekend when everything comes to an end, pretty much. I’m looking at it all laid out in front of me. All of my memories are mine, though, and I still get to keep them forever.

No one else has these:

I’m 16. Growing up on Capitol Hill means that my second-grade soccer games are played at the park across the block from the clubs I go see my friends’ bands at now. Posse on Broadway namedrops my cross-streets. That mind-blowing mural of a pterodactyl eating a Metro bus on the side of the bookstore on Broadway and John hasn’t been torn down for the light-rail station yet because it’s only 2008! Growing up on Capitol Hill means that everything is around me all the time and I try my best to absorb all of it and I owe my life as I know it to this place.


I’m 12. There’s this local band of six boys that are the current loved-or-hated band of the city. Of course, I LOVE THEM. Love makes me a MySpace fangirl, and I go to every one of their all-ages shows. So far, that’s seven or so. They put up with—even encourage—my tweenage enthusiasm, and now I’m not just a fan, but a li’l baby-size friend. Yeah, we’re totallllly friendz.


Now I’m 15. They eventually put me in their liner notes AND their Myspace Top 8, which is the pinnacle of my life on the internet!! They also introduce me to a whole new sphere of the city, the one where the music is, and that changes everything. I don’t suspect that they realize their impact on me. Thank you, guys.


I’m 14. I finally get to sell my handmade hair accessories at the most delightful store in the world. I start bonding with the owner, and she becomes my creative mentor and life coach as her store becomes my second home. She’s taking me backstage at the Gorge to meet my favorite band for my 15th birthday; she dresses me up and lets me walk in her legendary fashion shows; she allows me to hang at her shop every afternoon like she’s my babysitter, but she calls me her intern, and I learn about how to run a business and plan a grand fête as I try on ’50s prom dresses under the watchful eye of my pink-haired guru. Her cat, Vincent, is the closest thing I have to a boyfriend.


I’m 15. The afternoons not spent at the shop are spent at the record store on 15th Avenue with my best friend, who is a grade above me at my high school. We met at that record store 3 years ago. We buy our vinyl and stake out the organicfairtradesustainablelocalsolarpowaredsoyflavored coffee shop across the street to complain about our all-girls high school and scheme about our upcoming, more-exciting social life, which consists of going to a show every single weekend because there’s nothing I’ve ever liked to do more, and I now have an ideal partner-in-crime.


I’m 18. My prom is inside the Space Needle, so.


I’m 15. Weezer has been my favorite band since I was 12. I loathe anything they did after 1997, but I love the first two albums so much that I’m certified obsessed. Message-board obsessed. They’re playing a secret show at the all-ages venue I work and basically live at, and today is the day I will tell guitarist Brian Bell that he was my junior-high crush. I will tell him this with a bite of burrito in my mouth, and I will never regret it because it will be the most surreal moment of all time.


I’m 12. My K-8 offers a Friday night ski bus for middle-schoolers, which means I get to spend three winters of my life snowboarding weekly with all of my friends. Everything happens on ski bus: make-outs, breakups, concussions, Red Bull overdoses. This might be the most fun I will ever have.


I’m 19. Ski bus totally might still be the most fun I’ve ever had.


I’m 12, or 16, or 20 or 50 or 90. I spend all rare moments of sun on the shores of Lake Washington, where on a clear day the mountain is out and it will literally melt anyone into a puddle. Lots of life happens there: it’s where I take my friends for drunk swims off the dock on summer nights, where I have opened many a bottle of wine with my bare hands because I’m a teenage animal. It’s where I spent every hot day of the year at Madison Beach since I was five years old. It’s where my mom and I take my dog for rehabilitating swims after the life-threatening knee surgery he got when he was seven. It gives me so much, and it is my favorite.


Nothing was perfect and everything was what it was supposed to be. I got to be a teenager in a beautiful place. Now, I thank everything. ♦


1 2 3 4 5


  • Emmie August 22nd, 2012 7:57 PM

    Katherine, the first few weeks of college were sucky and overwhelming for me. it seemed like everyone was making friends and having an awesome time while i had a few awkward acquaintances and roommates who loved trash tv a little to genuinely. i really encourage you to embrace the situation, though. It sounds sleezy and guidance counselor-y, but in my experience, deciding things suck and choosing to quit or leave before you give them a full chance is not the best approach.. because then you pin all your hopes on the next thing being awesome. And usually crazy new and different things aren’t that awesome in the beginning. If i could talk to every nervous incoming freshman, I would tell them to talk to everyone, even the people that you think you won’t like. Everyone, regardless of how calm and at ease they look, is scared and nervous and in desperate need of friends. If you take the initiative and approach people, you will get friends. even if they aren’t the type of people you would have thought. Freshman year is the best time for making tons of friends, which will subsequently whittle down into your core group. I’m confident you’ll have a better time soon! (unless you are having an awesome time and just felt a bit bleh when you wrote this.) I hope this isn’t to lecture-y and stuff, but I want you to have a brilliant time. And I guarantee you can if you get out there and show people how cool you are. College just got progressively better for me, until I was one of THOSE people nearly in tears when I graduated this may. carpe diem! And good luck!

    • Emmie August 22nd, 2012 10:51 PM

      good god, so many errors on too!

  • WitchesRave August 22nd, 2012 8:00 PM

    Dylan, can you please write a novel about your life so far, it seriously sounds like a dream.. :’) and your mentor-shop lady bond reminded me of pretty in pink

    • Tiger August 22nd, 2012 8:37 PM

      DYLAN. YES. Write and publish your life story:)

  • Emmy August 22nd, 2012 8:25 PM

    Ruby, don’t worry! You’ll still be the same person after the test.

  • actressgirl August 22nd, 2012 8:46 PM

    Ruby, what I want to know is why you were taking the test? That seems more interesting then the test itself. Oh and I forgot to tell you as a theater person and a Harry Potter fan it’s totally awsome and I am totally jealous that you got to be Malfoy

  • Juniper August 22nd, 2012 8:53 PM

    I move into my dorm room tomorrow.
    I’m so afraid.
    Good luck Katherine! Sending Rookie love your way!

  • bugaleeto August 22nd, 2012 10:07 PM

    My brother moved in to college today. I still cant believe I wont see him until thanksgiving! I keep expecting him to come downstairs and start playing video games with my other siblings and I…

  • Amy Rose August 22nd, 2012 11:05 PM

    Greetings and salutations to YOU, Caitlin (and Christian Slater…is he a part of our staff now? FINGS CROSSED)

    • Caitlin H. August 23rd, 2012 3:09 AM

      Hello- yes, we come as a package!

  • Dylan August 23rd, 2012 12:06 AM

    hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Caitliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

  • guiltfreedonut August 23rd, 2012 12:16 AM

    WAIT DYLAN I LOVE THE PRETTY PARLOR! I lived in Seattle for a few years and it was one of my favorite spots in the city. I also know that soccer field, the one with the fence in Capitol Hill? And that record store. I felt like you sort of described my thoughts while driving through Seattle when I went back once.

    (PS. I’m hoping it was only an accident that Cupcake Royale was not included in this?)

    • Dylan August 23rd, 2012 2:24 AM

      Fuck me I went there today they sell red velvet ice cream now ugh dammit it’s good

  • jill August 23rd, 2012 12:44 AM


  • Narita August 23rd, 2012 1:40 AM

    Hey, Ruby. I had to do that too, just a few months ago, and it had to do with a diagnosis too. I did them all pretty quick which left them in amazement, kinda. They didn’t tell me my IQ though, just that I was ‘really smart and above average’ blahh. You’ll be okay, you’re a smart one.

  • Lucille August 23rd, 2012 3:51 AM

    hi Caitlinnnn!

  • dancinginthetrees August 23rd, 2012 4:01 AM

    Dylan- I’m 20, and I just moved to Seattle last fall to go to school. I go to Cornish, so Capitol Hill is my neighborhood now. I just got my first apartment up on the hill last weekend. :) I’ve been feeling a lot of what you’ve been talking about in regards to my own hometown- which is nothing like Seattle, but incredibly beautiful in a different way. Finishing being a teenager is scary and exciting and I’m barely figuring it out. I wish you so much luck on your new LA adventure, and reading this just made me so excited to keep exploring and discovering all the things you love so much.

  • julalondon August 23rd, 2012 7:36 AM

    I think i already love you, Caitlin!=)

  • hellorose August 23rd, 2012 8:52 AM

    that’s fantastic naomi, congratulations! when i got my a level results four years ago (!!!) the school asked a few of us to come in really really early so the paper could take photos of us. somewhere on the evening standard website is immortalised a very fake hug between me, my friend, and another girl. weirdly though, after all the build up, getting those final grades felt a little flat. i felt the same getting my degree results in june. a relief, but not really a surprised. then the other day i was cleaning my teeth and suddenly felt a huge burst of elation – i got through a truly miserable university experience with an actual degree. wahoo!
    (and now i never ever have to go back!!)

  • youarebananas August 23rd, 2012 11:12 AM

    DYLAN your post is so beautiful. i visited seattle last summer and fell in love and this makes me want to go back so badly! thanks for writing this!

  • smilingrottenflesh August 23rd, 2012 2:03 PM

    Caitlin your tumblr is EVERYTHING!

    That is all. c:

  • kirsten August 23rd, 2012 2:22 PM

    The Pretty Parlor is the BEST. Definitely hitting it up when I go down to Seattle for Bumbershoot!

  • yourenotfunny August 23rd, 2012 3:33 PM

    Naomi, your entries are probably my favorites, partly because of your lovely writing style, and partly because over the past year my social anxiety has hit a difficult high, and it kind of helps to hear about someone who has similar feelings. School starts this Monday for me, and even though I wish I didn’t have to go back, I’m not so scared anymore.

  • ifrah August 23rd, 2012 5:25 PM

    dyl pickle, this was beautiful. i think it is necessary to let go of seattle angst and to just love the city and have as much fun as you can. we’ve talked about this before, but growing up in this city and in the circles we’ve grown up in makes you super jaded but now that we are on the other side of all of it, we can see how silly the whole thing was. both good silly and bad silly. i completely understand the love/hate relationship with Seattle. maybe we will just learn to love it even more as we grow older and become different people. you’ve done a lot in the first 19 years of life. happy to be celebrating this next chapter with you. see ya tonight! xx

    p.s. you forgot your annual after Christmas party, rancho bravo, the holy mountain, the 11 bus, denny blaine, house shows, etc etc etc :P

  • JessJ August 23rd, 2012 6:26 PM

    Dylan – My boyfriend turns 20 on the 24th too! (So, in like, half an hour) Being old is so scary.

  • airplanes.books August 23rd, 2012 10:06 PM

    pretty parlor! vincent!

  • allier August 25th, 2012 9:31 PM

    I love in the description for the post “do-do-do-DOOO”. Am I the only on who may or may not have sung it out loud, complete with air trumpet playing.
    No? just me? ok.

  • NF4awesome September 30th, 2012 11:17 PM

    Hi Ruby! I’m curious as to what type of Neuropsychological test you took.