Dear Diary

August 1, 2012

Chronically stoked.

Katherine

Wednesday night, I hung out with my grandmother. We were both about to change our scenes. She was about to be able to return home from rehab (she had a hip replacement a few weeks ago), and I was flying to Los Angeles the next morning to hang out with the Rookies. “Are you ready?” she asked me. I said I wasn’t.

When I got home, I stared at everything I had laid out on my floor to bring. I do this whenever I’m about to travel: stare zombie-style at all of my clothes and crap and prepare myself for the trip. I ran everything over in my mind. My flights, the order of the Rookie events, the people I would see. Since this trip would be my graduation present from my grandmother and uncle, they put me in the W hotel in Hollywod. Also, since my parents were being so loving and caring (obnoxiously overprotective), they wanted to make sure I had a chaperone of sorts. WHO WAS DYLAN OMG OMG OMG. So thank you, parents, for being frustratingly untrusting, because Dylan is so fly.

The W hotel is the funniest thing ever. It’s the kind of place Tom Haverford would dream about all of the time. 90% of the women there wore these dresses that were like HERE’S MY BODY, and all of the dudes looked like wannabe CEOs. The spy holes on the doors were bedazzled, there was a gourmet-dog-food menu, and the walls of the elevators were covered in some sort of sparkly faux snakeskin. Basically, everything sparkled. It was a million degrees removed from the world I’m used to. Are there people who are actually used to that kind of thing? People who feel like that’s where they belong and that’s what they deserve?

When I got to the hotel, I met up with Dylan and her friends, and we hit the ROOFTOP POOL like the SUPERSTARS we are. The pool was more hilarity, because the music was all unst unst unst and boop da doop. People wore bikini thongs and drank crazy-expensive cocktails. Dylan and I attempted to lie out on floaties in the pool. Dylan succeeded. I failed. Luxury is hard, yo.

We went to go see Mindy Kaling do a Q&A at the Rookie event that night. I got to see the space and all the Rookies for the first time. It felt very unreal as it was happening. After, a bunch of us hung out at a diner. Dylan, her friend, and I returned to the hotel and danced in our room all night. We called the front desk and ordered these white bathrobes. At one point, we ran through the halls, pulling the “do not disturb” tickets out of every door and throwing them on the ground, laughing maniacally. It’s my new favorite game.

We drove around L.A. the next day and ended up hanging out in Los Feliz. We listened to awesome people read at the event Friday night and got to read ourselves. We jammed out at a King Tuff concert that was SO RAD, then we had a sleepover in our hotel with a bunch o’ Rookies. We ate junk food and stayed up telling first-kiss stories. I felt weird for a little bit because I didn’t have one, but it’s not even that big of a deal. All the same, could someone just make out with me already? Like, I brush my teeth, I swear.

Friday night, when everyone else went to sleep, I stayed awake. I never wanted to close my eyes. I kept on replaying everything that had happened to me in L.A. I just kept on thinking I love this, I love this, I love this. I replayed again and again all of us trying to go up to the rooftop pool after it had closed for what looked like a private party. Dressed in bathrobes, we sneakily took the freight elevator up to the top floor, opened the door to the pool, and were met by an angry security guard barking, “Seven intruders, SEVEN INTRUDERS” into his walkie-talkie. We high-tailed it back to the elevator, dying of laughter.

I stayed up thinking about everyone who had read at the Rookie story hour, as well as everyone’s first-kiss stories. I think the fact that we had talked so much that night was what kept me up. I was in love with everyone’s stories and energy—the world felt like it was a place filled with people who were creative and thoughtful and had great capacities to love.

Everything felt important, because Rookie has been so important to me. As I was slowly losing my friends, I was given all of this. This community of people with stories that make me feel like everything is bursting with meaning. It’s like being inside of a Kay Ryan poem.

Right now I’m in San Francisco with my aunt and uncle and my new cousin. I’m exhausted, but I still don’t want to go to sleep. I want to be back in L.A., listening to stories. Falling in love with everyone and wishing that I would never have to go home.

There’s this part in Stephen Fry’s autobiography where he talks about the first boy he ever fell in love with when he was younger. After seeing this kid, he went back to his dorm and took out a piece of paper. On it, he wrote, “I love Matthew Osborne.” He thought for a moment, realized that wasn’t all he felt, and wrote underneath, “Everything is different.”

This is how I feel now, except it isn’t about a boy or anything. It’s about these people and this city. I wish this was everyone and here was everywhere. Does that make sense?

It’s like this: I love Rookie and L.A. and stories and writing and meeting people. I love almost getting in trouble at a stupid sparkly hotel and dancing at shows. I love staying up all night because I love all of these things, and I love wondering and hoping that everybody feels this way too.

I love all of this.

Everything is different. ♦

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36 Comments

  • bird August 1st, 2012 7:16 PM

    This is going to sound crazy but… I LOVE THE SUMMER. You guys are all having good times, my friends and I are having a good time – there are just such good vibes EVERYWHERE. Please can September just never arrive!
    Enjoy the rest of the summer everyone!

  • Kathryn August 1st, 2012 7:44 PM

    Such a great set of diary entries this week. I especially liked Katherine’s. That sounds so insanely fun!

  • readyfortofade August 1st, 2012 7:57 PM

    In response to Katherine: It’s funny how there are those moments or experiences that change everything.

    I remember coming home from my first visit to the college I’ll be starting in the fall. I had found my people, so to speak. They had stories and thoughts and looked at me like I meant something, too.

    I remember sitting next to the window on the train, eating avocado sushi from the co-op, drinking from an old-fashioned glass bottle of Orangina. I felt so removed from myself, I was almost shaking. I hadn’t yet clicked back into my old self, that costume.

    I kept looking at myself in the window – my hair was sticking up from a long night of being held and sitting on a warm roof.

    I was thinking: Everything is different.

    Can that feeling be sustained? I guess I’ll find out in a few weeks.

  • Tyknos93 August 1st, 2012 8:04 PM

    Katherine your entry was really top notch today! I feel like I know exactly the feeling and experience you are describing, but I haven’t felt it for a long time. Places like the W Hotel make me feel really itchy and super anxious…

    Quirks of Blazoning Pens

  • Tara August 1st, 2012 8:32 PM

    aw katherine your diary makes me want to cry. happiness is so beautiful and I love how you described our crazy sleepover night and your week and rookie! I know what you mean about feeling a part of the community.

    and dylan, so glad you enjoyed LA this time around. time can be weird and it’s interesting how you experienced the city in a different way this time around.

    ruby you are the sweetest.

  • Jillheartsmusic August 1st, 2012 8:40 PM

    Yay Katherine!!

  • Aubrey August 1st, 2012 8:56 PM

    Katherine, your piece made me bawl. And then like, glow with joy. And then send it to four of my friends. And then glow with joy some more. Thank you.

    - aubrey
    http://www.lifeofmagicalthinking.blogspot.com

    • Anaheed August 1st, 2012 8:58 PM

      This was basically my exact reaction as well.

      • hollysh August 4th, 2012 3:13 AM

        Me too. I’m about to ride off to work bawling. Katherine, I’m so happy for you!

  • Mayabett August 1st, 2012 9:34 PM

    Katherine, that story was literally everything I wish I could have in a teenage adventure. I wish I knew people who were up to doing such crazy shenanigans and having a BLAST doing it.

    Don’t worry about not having a first kiss story because when your time comes it will be worth waiting for!
    “I brush my teeth, I swear!”
    ^ Best line.

  • Megann16 August 1st, 2012 10:23 PM

    THE OLYMPICS.
    literally the best thing ever.

    I go for all the teams from all the places because its more fun that way and it makes me feel all the feelings.
    Like its so great that we all come together for an event and share culture, particularly the one of the host country. But its sad that some countries have so few athletes because their government doesn’t even really afford to keep its people alive and healthy, let alone invest in sport. And it’s both inspiring and heart wrenching that people dedicate their entire lives to this thing that just may or may not pan out on the day. But mostly it gives me so much hope that the world can come together for a while and create an event which is so spirited and happy and united rather than sad. The glory and the dissappointment and the just getting there and the Mr Bean in the opening ceremony. ALL the feelings.

    That said, yayyyy Australia!

    • Megann16 August 1st, 2012 10:27 PM

      also all the entries were really nice this week. I wanted to say that but got distracted by THE OLYMPICS

  • bawlingbrother August 1st, 2012 10:34 PM

    way 2 make me cry sis xoxo ur smelly brother

    • Dylan August 1st, 2012 10:45 PM

      Katherine just screamed @ that

  • Sue Denim August 1st, 2012 11:07 PM

    Hooray for the Stephen Fry reference!
    Everyone should read ‘Moab is my washpot’ it is a brilliant book filled!

  • Adrienne August 1st, 2012 11:47 PM

    I love the Olympics so much! That opening ceremony was pretty amazing.. my favorite part was definitely Rowan Atkinson’s bit!! Oh and that 100 ft Voldemort haha. My only complaint was that huge creepy baby thing… heehe :)

    http://theaverageasiangirl.blogspot.com

    • Adrienne August 1st, 2012 11:49 PM

      Oh and also I’ve stayed at the W hotel… the whole place feels like a giant dance club! The lobby is all dark and the only source of light is from the garishly neon colored light fixtures!

  • Eryn August 2nd, 2012 12:04 AM

    “…my love is difficult to collect and organize, all over the place like glitter that’s hard to sweep up.”
    THIS TOTALLY RESONATES.
    Such great entries… <3

  • ladiesfirst August 2nd, 2012 12:21 AM

    This is so sweet!

    Also, Buenos Aires makes me think of my new favorite song (and fervent obsession):
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ3fdiHu3Mw

    http://politicizenow.wordpress.com/

  • ivoire August 2nd, 2012 12:34 AM

    idk bout u guys but i cant access the last article. the one that comes out 11pm EST? isnt it midnight there already?

  • Hannah. August 2nd, 2012 2:04 AM

    Ian Thorpe. Represent.

  • guiltfreedonut August 2nd, 2012 2:21 AM

    Katherine your piece was beautiful. You completely captured the essence of love and happiness and … living! I haven’t felt that sense of absolute happiness and comfort in a while, but this article really reminded me that it’s out there. That was probably my favorite piece on Rookie, ever. Thank you so much!

  • julalondon August 2nd, 2012 5:20 AM

    Aaaah this is all so amazing! I love summer, i love sun, i love meeting interessting people, i love reading rookie and i’m freaking out because i’m gonna go on holiday later on today! Katherine basically sum up all of my feelings and made me even more happy! <– don't know if that made sense or not BUT I'M JUST SO FREAKIN HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!

  • violetlilies August 2nd, 2012 6:35 AM

    yay olympics!! Rowan Atkinson was awesome as ever, just makes me proud to be British!

  • Emilie August 2nd, 2012 1:37 PM

    Naomi. You are the greatest.

  • ashleylynn August 2nd, 2012 3:20 PM

    Katherine, I just wanted to say that I think your piece is amazing. It felt like I was there. Thank you for sharing it :) (And A+ for the Stephen Fry reference!)

  • Luisa August 2nd, 2012 6:01 PM

    Minna your illustration this week-!!!!!! 8D

  • mloxe4210 August 2nd, 2012 6:37 PM

    KATHERINE I know that exact feeling! I wish I’d been able to go to a rookie event though :’( for me I feel like that when I get to meet people that I get, and that get me – when I feel like I fit in with them for once and don’t feel all awkward and self conscious and bleh… hope I find that once I get to college cause I certainly won’t in my high school. So jealous of you and just wanted to say you are so awesome :)

  • Dylan August 2nd, 2012 6:55 PM

    I’m a floaty pro, it’s not a big deal. KATHERINE I would have done anything 4 u to come on that trip (kidnapping, bribery, etc) so I’m glad that you got to come because otherwise…WTF WTF I can’t even think about OTHERWISE.

  • Naomi August 2nd, 2012 7:13 PM

    it was an amazing race: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_m5VQnXBg0

  • Mom August 2nd, 2012 7:48 PM

    Katherine

    the ability to be happy is lifegiving. I’m glad you and Dylan got to hang together in LA and SF!!! sounds divine

  • Lucille August 3rd, 2012 9:35 AM

    Ruby, hey!Bumpa, gooosh, love it!
    How little things can make you smile, it’s so magical.
    I love being with my grandparents and talk with them about history and stuff.
    when’ll you be back from camp?I kinda miss your posts on your blogggg

    http://fashion-babel.blogspot.com

  • Alicynthia August 4th, 2012 10:25 PM

    Katherine! Oh my god, I am a freak, I almost added you as a friend on Facebook because I couldn’t think of any other way to tell you how MUCH I loved your entry. Then I realized I could just comment on the post. Okay, I went on a trip recently and I couldn’t quite put it into words how I felt, and wow your words just work so much better. I am smiling and inspired and hey, I might still add you as a friend on Facebook. Thank you! :)