You Asked It

Ask a Grown Woman

Closeted girlfriends, crushes, and standing up for your rights.

Musician Kaia Wilson, co-founder of awesome things (Team Dresch, the Butchies, and Mr. Lady Records), can tell you a thing or two, and she does.

If you have a question about ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE for the Rookie staff and friends, please send it to


  • Helenus July 17th, 2012 11:46 PM

    How about Andrew VanWyngarden for the next “Ask a Grow Man” segment? I mean…it’s probably never going to happen, but, A GIRL CAN DREAM, RIGHT?

    • vanguardinspace July 19th, 2012 10:56 AM

      MY GOSH. That would make my life. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

  • Chloe Elizabeth July 18th, 2012 2:37 AM

    My inner nerd is hoping and praying for a Green brother appearance in ‘Ask A Grown Man’.

    • Lulu July 18th, 2012 6:34 AM

      Seconded. Passionately Seconded.

      • fizzingwhizbees July 18th, 2012 11:16 AM


        • Devon Wolf Sings July 18th, 2012 3:24 PM

          Oh god, yes please!

        • drdischord July 18th, 2012 3:34 PM

          Fourthed so hard!

        • mar9ar3t July 18th, 2012 6:05 PM


        • norienoire July 18th, 2012 7:59 PM

          SIXTH-ED? If that’s how you’d say that?

        • Cerise July 18th, 2012 10:46 PM

          Um, SEVENTH-ED (if that’s a thing?) :D

    • uaresoawesome July 20th, 2012 12:49 AM

      I TOTALLY AM EIGHTHING THIS. I’m certain that we are creating new words. Anyways, as a Nerdfighter and avid reader, I think we DEFINITELY need John or Hank. It would be fantastic!

  • lorobird July 18th, 2012 8:06 AM

    Thanks for this, what an amazing woman :3

  • shauna5573 July 18th, 2012 10:29 AM

    I really liked Kaia’s advice. It was helpful, smart, and kind, and she took every question so seriously, and really related them to herself and her experiences, and from watching this, I feel less anxiety about coming out as bisexual to my friends and family.

  • ladiesfirst July 18th, 2012 2:42 PM

    Love Team Dresch, love The Butchies, and love Kaia’s advice. Ask a grown man/woman is such a great feature :).

    Advice for the last girl: if she’s given any sign of being accepting, come out to your friend, but don’t tell her how you feel about her.

  • a-anti-anticapitalista July 19th, 2012 10:23 AM

    I don’t know if this would help whomever asked the question, but as a straight girl, every time another girl has come out to me I have just felt extremely flattered (and every time it has been a girl who was in one of those “jokingly flirtatious” friendships with me), and I have been tempted to try things with them if only I weren’t afraid of messing up our friendships or hurting their feelings.

    But I do get why you would be afraid to come off as a “creepy lesbian”, since I have been treated like a “creepy lesbian” many times -despite being straight- by other girls (so you know, don’t worry too much about that because you don’t even have to be gay for insecure people to act like that).

    I think you should start by saying that you know the flirting thing is joking around and you are in no way misinterpreting it, but you just want to let her know how you really feel. Hope whomever wrote that reads this and that it helps :3

  • smilingrottenflesh July 19th, 2012 2:29 PM

    Kaia is my favorite. <3

  • hellorose July 19th, 2012 3:39 PM

    this is fantastic. excellent advice and now i’m listening to her music as well. wahoo!

  • uaresoawesome July 20th, 2012 12:46 AM

    I would WHOLE HEARTEDLY WORSHIP ROOKIE if you guys got John or Hank Green to Do Ask A Grown Man. They are the definition of awesome! Although, I’m surprised I don’t worship you guys already. I’ve been checking you guys everyday since you started! :D

  • actingpjs July 26th, 2012 2:16 PM

    I agree with the other people commenting on this, it would be wonderful if either Hank or John Green could come on Ask a Grown Man

  • unefillecommetoi August 7th, 2012 10:54 PM

    Kirsten Wiig or Jemima Kirke for the next ask a grown woman!