Dear Diary

June 20, 2012

Moving on.

Dylan

In astrology (thank you Susan Miller I AM YOUR LOYAL STUDENT), lunar eclipses cause big shakeups—but always in a productive way. It is a time of cleansing. In my understanding, the moon represents the subconscious and things lurking under the surface, and a lunar eclipse brings those things into the open, making stuff visible and therefore addressable. It exposes dysfunctional situations, which forces you to decide whether to try to work something out or just leave it behind.

There was a partial lunar eclipse on June 4; according to Susan Miller, the effects were supposed to last for a week or two. The moon that shines through my roommate’s window at night must have taken that opportunity to whisper through the blind, “What’s up it’s the MOOOON, it’s time to MOOOOVE OUT.” Because just like Susan predicted, a female roommate would be exiting the building. Literally, my horoscope said that.

I live with two other women, Leah and Kat. I’ve known Kat longer, but I’m closer with Leah. Suddenly last week Kat broke the news to me and Leah that she was moving in with her boyfriend that night. Kat’s name is on the lease, and Leah and I can’t afford to make up for her portion of the rent. So this complicated our lives. No worries, Kat said: she had posted an ad on Craigslist for her room, showed it to some random-ass person, and told them they could move in right away—without even telling us, much less giving us a chance to meet them. Leah and I were, uhhhh, upset?

Fortunately, one of my best friends, Maddy, is returning from Europe today and is taking Kat’s old room for a month—loudest sigh of relief in my life. And, truth be told, things had been tense with Kat for a while, for reasons that are not mine to tell. But they are reasons that needed to come to the surface and be dealt with, and now they have. And since Kat left, Leah and I have been hanging out in the most fancy-free, happy way. We drank and cooked dinner together last night; we’ve been planning the future like we’ve newly moved in, the shift in energy is so palpable.

So thanks, lunar eclipse, for bringing stuff to the surface, instigating some necessary change, and solving some issues for me! I feel a little guilty admitting that Kat’s departure had a positive influence on the energy in our apartment, but hey. Sometimes things just don’t work out, and have got to change. ♦

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28 Comments

  • purrr June 20th, 2012 7:12 PM

    ruby your speech was lovely and i can most definitely agree with you that middle school is a nightmare – to me, highschool was much better in terms of figuring myself out and even though i didn’t make many friends and had self esteem issues, it still has affected me in a good way and i am sad to leave it as well. anyway, get ready for a rrrreasonably exciting time in your life :)

    http://angiemoonslawn.tumblr.com/

  • la fee clochette June 20th, 2012 7:21 PM

    I loved reading each one of these.

    And, Ruby, you are a wise and sweet girl. I am about to turn 24, but I can still learn a lot from you- great speech.

  • jill June 20th, 2012 7:24 PM

    ruby, you are so eloquent!

  • mariaantoniavs June 20th, 2012 7:25 PM

    Ruby, I love your speech and what you wrote. I also “graduated” middle school last week. I can relate to so much of what you say. I hope you really do enjoy your new town and school. I’m not going to have big changes for next year, but I also consider high school a new start.

  • Tyknos93 June 20th, 2012 7:25 PM

    Ruby you are ADORABLE and your speech was great! Good luck in high school. I can’t remember what I said at my 8th grade promotion…probably something about food…

    http://blazoningpens.blogspot.com/

    • Tyknos93 June 20th, 2012 7:38 PM

      And Katherine your entry is almost exactly what I went through last weekend. I’m sure my family members all think I’m stuck up because I don’t say much around them…I JUST HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO SAY. I don’t know if I’ll ever grow out of it after 18 years. I also kinda don’t mind it anymore…

      http://blazoningpens.blogspot.com/

  • MissKnowItAll June 20th, 2012 7:28 PM

    Ruby!
    I love you! You spoke so amazingly and I’m proud o you. Middle School is pretty dumb, but you’re closer to high school now! congrats love!

  • jennbx June 20th, 2012 7:47 PM

    Go Ruby! Good luck at your new high school, girl :)

  • decemberbaby June 20th, 2012 7:55 PM

    Thanks for telling us about the lunar eclipse, Dylan — I’ve been going through a huge “shake-up” in the past two weeks in a friendship that I really care about. I’m relieved to find out that it’s in the solar system, and not all my fault! Btw, I love Minna’s collage for this week.

  • Kathryn June 20th, 2012 7:55 PM

    Ruby, I WANT TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND. I was super impressed by your speech! And also, I love your dark hair and cat eye glasses. <3 <3 <3

  • Tiger June 20th, 2012 7:57 PM

    I feel for ya ruby!! I have the same situation at my icky middle school (which I still have one year left of). For some reason people seem to think it’s some kind of SIN to dress creatively and uniquely! But best of luck to you at your new school next year…you are totally awesome:)

  • Tiger June 20th, 2012 8:17 PM

    OOh and Naomi! I loved your article too. Be strong! Go get ‘em!

    And, like, I know right? About the Age Of Adz? It’s all anyone needs, really. This might sound really creepy but…which song was it? Futile devices and Too much are my favorites but I love them all:) and congrats again

  • GlitterKitty June 20th, 2012 8:32 PM

    Ruby, your speech was lovely. I loved all the bits about the ocean. I wish there was a good speech at my grade 8 graduation. Sadly, I just got rambling from the school principal and overly Catholic themed messages from the valedictorian (Catholic school, it happens).

    And Katherine, thank you for putting my feelings into words.

  • Dylan June 20th, 2012 9:12 PM

    I want to be near you guys all the time. Ruby, your speech was a gem, I’m really stoked for you.

  • June 20th, 2012 9:29 PM

    RUBY!!!!
    You never cease to amaze me . Your speech was incredible and very heartfelt. Im in middle school now and I can understand why you hate it so much and even though I still have one more year to go I’m glad its over for you ;)

  • ladyjenna June 20th, 2012 9:55 PM

    Lovely speech, Ruby!

    Loneliness sucks, but Rilke says that you discover yourself in solitude. yay, more quotes.

    P.S. Where did you get your glasses?

  • Catherine_CC June 20th, 2012 10:17 PM

    Katherine, I really connected with what you said—though I am slightly different in social situations. I’m either the life of the party and can strike up a conversation with absolutely anyone, or exactly like you said, “my personality just goes away” and I’m kind of numb and an empty shell void of anything resembling a social being.

    I also sleep a lot. I’d rather be asleep in a world of my own than be wake in a world out of my control with so many things to worry about.

    Thanks for writing about your week!

    -Catherine
    http://atinybitquiet.tumblr.com/

  • MinaM8 June 20th, 2012 10:33 PM

    Katherine, I totally get what you mean! I feel like that every once in a while.

    Ruby, that was an amazing speech!

  • Amy Rose June 20th, 2012 11:36 PM

    Hell yes, Ruby. Serious congratulations to you.

  • Ginny June 21st, 2012 12:13 AM

    Ruby, your speech was awesome. (Also, you are my glasses hero.)

  • Looby June 21st, 2012 4:45 AM

    “Sometimes I find that my personality just goes away”

    Amazing – totally get this.

  • lilkitten June 21st, 2012 9:23 AM

    The age of adz has gotten me through so much

  • TheGreatandPowerfulRandini June 21st, 2012 3:26 PM

    Ruby, your speech was beautiful. I also graduated (this middle school/high school hybrid called 8th-10th grade) today, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

  • Lucille June 21st, 2012 5:43 PM

    RUBY, CONGRATS ON YOUR GRADUATION THING AND SPEECH!YOU ARE SO SMART!

    xo

    http://fashion-babel.blogspot.com

  • norienoire June 21st, 2012 6:34 PM

    Oh Naomi,The Age of the Adz is a total coping mechanism for me, too. I think that because the whole concept of the album comes from a place of recovery after a long period of absolute fear and uncertainty, it gives me hope that I can go on without being paralyzed by my problems. If Sufjan could, there’s no reason that you or me or anyone else can’t heal as well. It’s intense, but I owe a lot to that album and I’m so glad that it exists. Period.

  • Janelle June 21st, 2012 7:51 PM

    Everyone wrote such relatable relevant “entries” this week. I loved it. Ruby, your graduation speech was ace. I gave a speech at my eigth grade graduation, way back when, and I didn’t have the guts to make such an honest and inspiring statement. I love how couragous you are, and always so true to yourself! Never stop being amazing, okay?

  • lubs June 21st, 2012 10:00 PM

    oh Katherine, I totally feel that personality thing sometimes. The worst thing is when you meet an awesome person when you’re with your personality and when you meet them again you’re so bland and numb. Those people must find me such a weirdo.

  • Sorcha M June 23rd, 2012 3:10 PM

    Naomi, your piece is so accurate about my life right now. I’m working off the last droplets of agoraphobia and finishing therapy and I swear your entries have been in PERFECT PARALLEL WITH MY LIFE. Well done <3