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Editor’s Letter

April 2012: Transformation

This picture is irrelevant, but I wanted to be able to include it in this month's calendar.

Happy April! Our theme this month is Transformation. The concept came to me after I spent a weekend watching and rewatching the Transformers movies, locked in my room, in the dark, with no food or water, so as to get rid of all other variables and fully commit to absorbing the art alone. Perhaps you’ve heard of this trilogy—nay, triple-scoop sundae of Jesusness—created by one of my favorite directors, Michael Bay. If not, it is about Louis from Even Stevens fighting robots while a hot girl cheers him on. I’m pretty sure it’s a metaphor for the ways in which corporate greed has corrupted our eyes, and also it’s a metaphor for violence, and also politics, and also rights, and also, too, though.

I finally emerged from my room at the end of the weekend, wondering why none of my friends had called to see if I was OK since I hadn’t been posting any links on Facebook to websites about poop in three days. But I also felt, well, angry. Angry that it was over. Angry that this beautiful world that Michael Bay created could not exist in real life, and angry that I could not be a part of it.

Then I heard a voice. “Who says?” asked Little Kevin James, the thumb-sized version of Kevin James that started sitting on my shoulder somewhere between the 34th and 35th hour of staring at my TV in the pitch black with no nourishment. “Who says that you can’t re-create Transformers in real life, complete with former Even Stevens stars, robots, and [a bunch of other shit that I don't know about, because I've never actually seen any of the Transformers movies]?”

Maybe it was the casual tone of his voice. Maybe it was the wiry hair on his knuckles, the knuckles that helped him complete a half-shrug, half-butt-scratch. Or maybe it was the fact that he was too hopeful about the potential for life’s greatness to care about the stain on the front of his Paul Blart: Mall Cop sweatshirt. Whatever it was, I felt it, and I knew that Little Kevin James was right. Why not try to model my life after the Transformers movies?

But stopping there would be selfish of me. I know that I have found life’s light in the room where I sit now, surrounded by Legos and the Shia LaBeouf lookalikes that I picked up from the local community college’s fraternity, Boys in Middle School Who Would Have Been Cute If They Weren’t So Annoying Kappa Beta Delta. But I need to share this light with all of you. I need others to be happy the way I am. “I agree.”—Little Kevin James.

And so, this month’s Rookie theme is all about Transformers. I don’t want to give too much away, but let’s just say it will include an Ask a Grown Man by Michael Bay, a DIY on how to be the most boring protagonist ever, courtesy of Shia, and a photo shoot by Petra of robots modeling flower crowns in dreamy fields.

ALL RIGHT, YA GOT ME. Happy belated April Fool’s! I know it was yesterday, but we don’t post on Sundays. Before we realized that, though, I asked our staff what our prank should be, and I’d like to take this moment to acknowledge their hard work and innovative thinking.

Anaheed said we should get Woody Allen to do an Ask a Grown Man, and Jamia suggested we get Snooki to do Ask a Grown Woman (which I am non-ironically into?). Jessica said to do Ask a Grown Mom, in which an Aunt Debbie-type would answer questions very cheesily. Laia wanted McChill to run the site for a day. Ruby said to make it Rick Santorum-themed, and Hazel proposed an old lady theme, by which I guess she meant inconsistent with our mission statement but AWESOME?

In all seriousness, this month will be about SPRING and COLORS and THE 1960S and CH-CH-CH-CH-CHANGES. Not about Michael Bay. I would like to get some Even Stevens in here somewhere, though. Anyway, I really hope you like it.

Love,
Tavi

54 Comments

  • flowerchild49 April 2nd, 2012 3:33 PM

    Tavi, you dog you

  • katieeleanor April 2nd, 2012 3:38 PM

    TAVI YOU QUEEN

  • Cruicked April 2nd, 2012 3:40 PM

    Sounds like a good month. YOU BUNCH OF PRANKSTERS, YOU.

  • poppunkgurrrlx April 2nd, 2012 3:43 PM

    Tavo should be a comedienne :3

    • poppunkgurrrlx April 2nd, 2012 4:01 PM

      *TAVI

      • Hedwig April 2nd, 2012 4:49 PM

        ahaha it’s her motorcycling evil twin who has yet to discover nutella! Tavo the favo.

  • TheAwesomePossum April 2nd, 2012 3:44 PM

    I really wouldn’t have minded most of these things being part of the theme… *hides head in shame*( ok, maybe some of them ironically…)

    The only thing from this prank that should honestly follow through is the Transformer robots/ flower crowns photo shoot. It must be done.

  • Besu April 2nd, 2012 3:55 PM

    Sounds good! Love the “irrelevant” picture!

  • whodatgal April 2nd, 2012 3:56 PM

    Omigod I’m excited. Geez I’ve seen MYSELF transform since I found out about Tavi and ROOKIE and all dat jazz. Tavi you made me feel like I was a crap, un-exciting dresser (compared to your amazing self), but you also made me realise what I was missing out on. And because of YOU there’s been a CH-CH-CH-CH-CHANGE IN ME *cheese-ball* Tavi you are my Liffeyy. Rookie you are my concience.

    xxx

    http://www.opheliahorton.wordpress.com

  • rainingmay April 2nd, 2012 4:05 PM

    HAHAHAHAHA I totally fell for it. BUT I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS MONTH!!!

  • Limey April 2nd, 2012 4:06 PM

    Tavi, I believed you for a wee bit. The whole “being a hermit on the weekend” thing just sounded so familiar and close to my heart.

  • mayaautumn April 2nd, 2012 4:14 PM

    sounds brill & the calendar thingy just looks amazing, April is gonna be great dude:o

    http://cottonmixblog.blogspot.com

    • mayaautumn April 2nd, 2012 4:24 PM

      oh..it’s a joke..umm..

      :(

  • brynntheredonethat April 2nd, 2012 4:30 PM

    Rick Santorum theme = comedic gold.

  • Hedwig April 2nd, 2012 4:46 PM

    Alright this is kind of awkward but CH-CH-CH-CH-CHANGES is actually spelled CH-CH-CH-CH-CH-CHANGES.

    Anyways, i’m so excited for this month!!! Man, I wish you guys had done all of those April fools pranks. Beautiful ideas.

  • MissKnowItAll April 2nd, 2012 4:57 PM

    Ha, McChill should run the site for a day! So much advice on romance…

  • Maddy April 2nd, 2012 5:08 PM

    yeah. i wanted that diy. and the robots… OH and I also second the McChill idea. You could do a little thing at the top of the Rookie page on a Sunday, I bet some would notice, but not enough for it to be a worthwhile prank. Arg, just realized that the link at the bottom of Google that I ignored yesterday was probably an awesome prank…

  • back2thepast April 2nd, 2012 5:26 PM

    YAYAYAYAYAY

  • emilyowls April 2nd, 2012 5:27 PM

    tavi’s never seen transformers?? :(

  • Fortune_Goddess April 2nd, 2012 5:32 PM

    I read the thing where it said “CH-CH-CH-CH-CHANGES” and immediately the song started playing in my head. Argh! BUT HURRAY FOR THE 60′S OMG!

  • sinclair April 2nd, 2012 5:40 PM

    Snooki might actually be awesome.

  • unicorn April 2nd, 2012 5:42 PM

    Please let McChill run the site for a day.
    *puppy dog eyes*
    YOU CAN’T RESIST THEM.

  • 062131 April 2nd, 2012 5:45 PM

    we NEED a photoshoot of robots modeling flower crowns in dreamy fields! or, you know, even better, girls wearing cardboard costumes modeling flower crowns in dreamy fields.
    or at least ‘ask a grown robot’? guys??

  • golddustwoman April 2nd, 2012 5:47 PM

    Chill McChillson has to return!! He is freaking hilarious!

  • Audrey April 2nd, 2012 5:59 PM

    You should have Christopher Owens from Girls do “Ask a Grown Man” ~!!

  • psychedelicbro April 2nd, 2012 6:14 PM

    Ohmygod I was so confused for a splitsecond there—I go to school with a kid named Michael Bay, and was rather surprised to see his name mentioned in one of Tavi’s Rookie articles. *sigh of relief* (:

  • loonylizzy April 2nd, 2012 6:36 PM

    I can’t see Shia labeouf without thinking Even Stevens either…. So glad I’m not alone there xD

  • mariaantoniavs April 2nd, 2012 6:53 PM

    OMG SOUNDS SO COOL!!! You, my friends, are awesome!!!!

  • Lily April 2nd, 2012 6:54 PM

    oh tavi, you are actually the greatest

  • Kaila April 2nd, 2012 7:07 PM

    oh you rabble-rousers you….

  • Gretchyn April 2nd, 2012 8:02 PM

    The whole time I was reading the first so paragraphs I was telling myself “Oh, well I guess Transformers is valuable to some… I can respect that, right?… I mean I can see a lot of things that are unethical about it but we all have different brainsz…”

    I am looking forward to this spring-y month.

  • DANNI April 2nd, 2012 8:27 PM

    HEHE I POSTED THAT ON MY TUMBLR A LITTLE WHILE AGO HEHE I’M SO COOL

  • MissKnowItAll April 2nd, 2012 9:00 PM

    Darn you witty rookie writers!
    On a side note, I was at a party yesterday and I saw a girl who looked exactly like Tavi and I totally freaked.

  • artobsessed April 2nd, 2012 9:48 PM

    the 1960′s <3 they can never get away from any of us

  • DitzyMo April 2nd, 2012 11:28 PM

    I FELL FOR THAT. HAHAH. I was like…Transformers? TRANSFORMERS? and cried a little

  • lxa April 2nd, 2012 11:42 PM

    Yes. Even Stevens is definitely needed.

  • impromptulove April 3rd, 2012 12:45 AM

    Okay, if there will be CH-CH-CH-CHANGES, can we please have some Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen?

  • Hunter April 3rd, 2012 1:31 AM

    I too have a Lil’ Kevin James.

  • ivoire April 3rd, 2012 6:51 AM

    I was actually looking forward to robots wearing flowers in a field ):

  • ghostworld April 3rd, 2012 8:41 AM

    w-wait Tavi, you have facebook!?

  • Alison April 3rd, 2012 9:01 AM

    The font for this month’s calendar is so ’60s and so perfect! Whenever I think of the ’60s, I always think of spring and envision being at Morning Glory Circle (Bewitched neighborhood) while listening to the Cyrcle (specifically Red Rubber Ball), etc.

  • Susann April 3rd, 2012 11:24 AM

    I’m looking forward to this month’s posts! Snooki on “Ask a Grown Woman” would certainly be great, haha!

    http://fashioninpepperland.blogspot.com

  • alix April 3rd, 2012 11:31 AM

    speaking of Shia labeouf, phwaor. Hes kinda hot now, its really wierd.

  • SunshineJilly April 3rd, 2012 2:42 PM

    Forgetting that April Fool’s Day existed, I thought to myself for the first paragraph, “How could such a wonderful person like Tavi not be appalled by the hyper-sexual Megan Fox and the used-to-be-awesome-when-he-wore-Hawaiian-shirts-NOT IRONICALLY-and-constantly-made-contorted-faces-while-annoying-Christy-Romano-Shia Lebouf and the racist robots and all of the unnecessary explosions?!?!”

    And then-upon further reading-I was reminded why I love you.

    P.S. Quite possibly the longest hyphenation ever and I AM PROUD.

  • Dagmara April 3rd, 2012 5:23 PM

    I was actually more overwhelmed by the thought of you having a Facebook than the whole Transformers thing! Totally got me though.

  • nutellacube April 3rd, 2012 7:14 PM

    I LOVE the background image of Rookie right now. Just sayin’.

    http://pennilesszen.blogspot.com

  • Ben April 3rd, 2012 11:37 PM

    I would love a robot photo shoot like the Organized Robots: http://laliebredemarzo.livejournal.com/57959.html
    And I love the 60s! I hope to see lots of twiggy and peggy mofit!

    http://bensstylecorner.blogspot.com/

  • essjay April 7th, 2012 1:12 PM

    MORE 60s FASHION THIS MONTH. i demand it! haha but really, it would be amazing to see more polyvore-ish kind of things up here that are bob dylan-ish. I can never find or wear the clothes i want to because they’re so expensive.

    And again, amazing site, wonderful blogs, great tumblr. I come back every weekday!

  • Jamia April 10th, 2012 12:29 AM

    YES!!! Let’s get Snooki–in a non ironic and ironic sort of way “)

  • jennasdk April 13th, 2012 11:59 AM

    I love the 60s, I love your brainthoughts, I love this.

  • Yumna April 13th, 2012 4:48 PM

    I almost re-watched transformers to find the hidden meaning, how could i have missed it?!

  • bubble April 23rd, 2012 2:27 PM

    Great website…. long due.

  • tots_and_tea April 24th, 2012 8:50 PM

    GAAAH SO EXCITED!

  • sdb8172 April 29th, 2012 5:10 PM

    Cindy Sherman…