Angelina Jolie

By Marie

Long before Angelina Jolie was the Angelina Jolie you know today (high priestess of every tabloid, Brad Pitt’s heina, supermutha to an army of children), she was a rebellious weirdo who gravitated to the darker side of life. I first fell hard for her when I was 17 and watched the movie Hackers, where she played a cyberwiz named ACID BURN. She rollerbladed straight into my heart, and my life was never the same. I seriously became so completely and utterly obsessed I made it my life’s goal to watch all of AJ’s movies and collect every magazine that had a mention of her name. I was on her trail like a one-girl TMZ. Then sometime in 2006 I got all freaked out that I was a hoarder and threw all of my Angelina Jolie AND Drew Barrymore magazines in the trash. (I don’t want to talk about it.)

I even made Angelina the subject of a presentation in my college speech class. Everyone in that class thought I was crazy, (probably because I showed a clip from the movie Gia where her character pulled out a switchblade and impaled a desk) but I didn’t give two shits. I knew Angelina was going to be a STAR.

I was a total fangirl, but who could blame me? Angelina was EXCITING! HOT! FUCKING SCARY!!! She was fascinated by knives (and used them during sex!), she was all inked up (at one point I was going to get her Tennessee Williams quote “a prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages” tattooed on myself, imagine?!?!), rolled up to fancy events looking like Morticia Addams, had an affair with her Foxfire costar Jenny Shimizu, jumped into a pool (wearing her gown) after winning a Golden Globe for best actress, had sex with Billy Bob Thornton in a limo on the way to the MTV Movie Awards, and wore a vial of his blood around her neck as a proclamation of love. Her lust for life and fearlessness for dramatics spoke to a young Rie. A good role model? Some may say HELLS TO THA NO, but then again, look at the awesome woman I have become!

Nowadays, Angie has the responsibilities of children as well as being actively involved in multiple charities, so we don’t hear these kinds of crazy stories about her anymore. I can’t hate on that, though, since we all gots to grow up (a little) sometime. But I’m sure she is still a HUGE FREAK on the low low! At least we can enjoy her earlier movies to get a little taste of the WILD Angelina I was in love with from back in the day. Here is your movie-watching assignment:

Hackers (1995). A Scooby-Doo gang of neon-clothed computer hackers have to save themselves AND the world with their computer tricks. Sidenote: her costar, the FUU-WINE Jonny Lee Miller, ended up becoming Angelina’s first husband. She wore a white shirt to the wedding with his name written on it IN HER BLOOD.

Love Is All There Is (1996). TOTALLY cheesy movie with a Romeo and Juliet-type plot, but I loves to love it.

Foxfire (1996). Based on the book by Joyce Carol Oates. AJ plays a mysterious drifter named LEGS who helps a group of girls stand up against being sexually harassed in their high school. Great girl-gang movie!

Gia (1998). Based on the real-life story of supermodel and tough girl Gia Marie Carangi, a heroin addict who died of AIDS at the age of 26. This is when the world dropped their jaws at Angelina’s acting skills.

Playing By Heart (1998). Angelina’s character falls for a fellow club kid with candy-colored hair, played by Ryan Philippe. They were SUPERCUTE in this movie. She also has a one-eyed cat, if any of you are into that sort of thing (cats).

Girl Interrupted (1999). Angelina and Winona Ryder bond while they spend time in a mental institution. Hilarity ensues! (Half-joking, it IS a bit of a serious film.) Angie also goes HEAD2HEAD with Whoopi Goldberg. Angie vs. Sister Mary Clarence? You should probably move this one to the top of the list now.