Dear Diary

December 14, 2011

FINAAAAAAALS!!! Plus: the greatness of Heathers and cookies.

Katherine

Last Friday I was hanging out at school with a bunch of girls in front of a plate of pumpkin chocolate chip cookies brought in by a classmate (literally, the best cookies ever). Out of nowhere, one of the girls proposed that all of us give up sweets until prom. A few of the others immediately made a pact that if they did indeed eat something, they would jump into someone’s pool naked the minute they did. I turned to one of my friends and jeered, “OMG, let’s get skinny so that boys will like us and take us to PROM!” I thought she would support me with a good eyeroll or at least help me seize the plate of cookies and storm out of the room. Instead, she just shrugged.

I was super peeved. I thought she would agree with me that the idea was (1) bogus, (2) futile (as I find jumping into pools rather fun), and (3) really stupid, as prom is light years away and not that important. And in any case, if I went to prom I would want to be the biggest, baddest lady breaking it down on the dance floor. All eyes on me (in the center of the ring, just like a circus). I’m sure prom is just grrreat, and I also know that I’ve had moments when I’ve sounded like any other high school girl complaining about her weight/looks/acne, but this is really ridiculous. We’re all 17 or 18, can’t we just ditch the notion that we absolutely have to be skinny for one night? Or for any number of nights? Like scallops and Chinese food, this did not sit well with me.

After that uplifting conversation, we all settled down to watch a video on the good old YouTube. (I promise we never have this much time on our hands except for right before exam week.) My friends pulled up this video of what was “just the cutest wedding ever.” This was not how I wanted to spend my time, so I walked out of the room and went to rant to an English teacher. After they finished the video, literally all of the girls who had watched it were crying. Later, in French class, they all drew Sharpie tattoos of the husband’s and wife’s names on their wrists and talked about how they all wanted to get married with flowers in their hair and have dozens of kids that instant. WHAT! IS! THIS?!!!!!!

When I got home, I watched the wedding video out of curiosity and because I wanted to be proven wrong. I wanted to think, “OK, this is actually really sweet. I’m sorry that I made such a big show of not wanting to watch it.” That didn’t happen. It wasn’t horrible, but I didn’t understand why it had provoked that CUTEST EVAAAAHR reaction in my peers, nor why anyone would want to share this personal event with the World Wide Web.

At this point I also have to acknowledge that I have two Justin Bieber posters on my wall that are not completely ironic. I must also note that I really like going to weddings and school dances and stuff like that. I don’t want to be too judgy, but I don’t think I’m alone when I say that things like prom and other peoples’ relationships are often blown way out of proportion. The importance of cookies, however, can NEVER be blown out of proportion. Ohmygoodness. I’m going to have a cookie-themed wedding with a cookie wedding cake and a cookie husband that I film and put on YouTube. In place of vows, we will trade unique cookies, and a year or so later, we will have cookie children. But, really, what will be more important is COOKIE PROM. I can’t wait this is going to be sew cute uguyz. Down with convention! UP WITH THE COOKIES! ♦

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27 Comments

  • Adrienne December 14th, 2011 7:16 PM

    Hehe my high school’s finals are after the winter break… but then I get stressed out during the holidays, :\

    Oooh I’ll have to watch Heathers! Sounds like a good movie. :) I love the giant flower brooch(?) Veronica is wearing.

    • Dylan December 14th, 2011 7:24 PM

      My high school was that way too, it was so much better. That way I could enjoy the holiday season instead of being at school for 15 hours a day for 3 straight weeks. I miss making gingerbread houses on the last day before winter break, instead of sitting through 4 hour long art critiques.

    • Sphinx December 14th, 2011 8:33 PM

      Everyone should watch Heathers, seriously.
      Oh, and that’s not Veronica, it’s one of the Heathers ( Duke maybe?).
      Anyway, Winona plays Veronica, being all awesome and stuff!

  • Nomi December 14th, 2011 7:19 PM

    Our generation’s Heathers will be Mean Girls.

    • Miarele December 15th, 2011 12:25 AM

      YES! Recently one of my friends said she has never watched Mean Girls before (!!!) and everyone is so shocked that we immediately have a sleepover to watch the movie. She said that her life has now forever changed LOL

      But yeah, it gives a look of the modern social culture (albeit exaggerated) and it has spawned sooo many iconic references. And come on, who doesn’t love Mean Girls? :D

  • Freja December 14th, 2011 7:24 PM

    I think I love you, Naomi! I relate to you in the scariest ways and have to reflect for a moment just to reassure myself that I’m not blacking-out and writing these entries myself – ha!

    Best of luck “checking in”. It’s weird and frustratingly difficult (why does going to the grocers’ feel so complicated??) but you can definitely pull through it!

    • Naomi December 15th, 2011 1:28 PM

      well then i love you too!

  • regina December 14th, 2011 7:26 PM

    naomi, i am so proud of your progress. i know how amazing it feels like to be able to look at yourself after a long period of inner turmoil and finally like what you see.

  • puffytoad December 14th, 2011 7:30 PM

    Katherine-

    Those girls sound so odd! Anyway…

    COOKIE HUSBAND. yes.

  • MissKnowItAll December 14th, 2011 7:40 PM

    I read Naomi’s entry and teared up a little. Sometimes When I’m having a particularly crappy day I look in the mirror and tell myself “I love you”.

  • Marguerite December 14th, 2011 7:46 PM

    I never realized how much time i’ve spent worrying about things that i don’t care about! LIKE TODAY! I was walking, and it started sprinkling, and i got all worked up and worried cuz i thought i would start pouring, and then, i remembered, i like getting soaked by the rain…

  • talia December 14th, 2011 7:57 PM

    Heathers is priceless and lines like “fuck me gently with a chainsaw” and the use of the phrase “you’re beautiful” as a comeback should live forever!

  • Sphinx December 14th, 2011 8:31 PM

    Heathers is brilliant, I love every bit of it ( even the huge shoulder pads and hair)!!

  • Maddy December 14th, 2011 8:42 PM

    I just watched Heathers on Sunday!!! because it was oddly enough on my Dad’s netflix instant queue…yes both my parents loved it too. it was soo good! but there is this continuity issue in the first “suicide” that has been bugging me

  • Chimdi December 14th, 2011 8:48 PM

    Ummm… Heathers seems WAY too scary for me! I can’t even sit through The Night Before Christmas!

    Ohh, and I can completely relate with Ruby when she says sometimes she feels that she has friends just for the sake of having friends…Besides four besties of mine, I feel like that with a lot of people. Especially because I don’t share interests with most of my peers.

  • emilyelizabeth December 14th, 2011 9:55 PM

    Dylan, finals are stressing me out too!!! my left eye keeps twitching–i think it’s the combination of the stress, lack of sleep, and the massive amounts of coffee i’ve consumed. but i know what you mean about the solidarity of finals and actually kind of liking them.

    Ruby, i was just watching Heathers the other day because it is finally on netflix instant watch! such a great movie! glad you liked it!!

  • erin December 14th, 2011 11:04 PM

    I love Heathers!

  • MayiMayi December 14th, 2011 11:41 PM

    Katherine,

    Just wait until you’re 23…it will only get worse. However, I find that cookies and a good episode of 30 Rock usually cheers me up.

  • fizzingwhizbees December 14th, 2011 11:58 PM

    ugh. finals. SERIOUSLY. my last exam is tomorrow morning and i’m going to die.

  • Minna December 15th, 2011 2:10 AM

    I’m gonna get ma gurl gang onto him!!!

  • timelady December 15th, 2011 3:25 AM

    I love Heathers so much. I watched it the first time ages ago (before I ever saw Mean Girls) and fell in love with it. I love the dad’s ‘I don’t patronise bunny rabbits’ bit, and I don’t know why. Such a quotable film.

  • fran December 15th, 2011 11:13 AM

    Naomi – your story sounds exactly what a close friend of mine is going through/was going through last year. I really wish I could show her this and let her know she’s not alone. Thank you for giving hope that, even if it takes a while, things can get better :)

  • FashionHauties December 15th, 2011 12:02 PM

    This is a really relatable article. I definatley procrastinate way too much because I really could care less about what I’m learning. And of course there’s that little thing about how I end up cramming and doing all of my work at the end of each quarter… Oh. I just like to call myself procrastination nation. Pretty much all I do is blog. (BTW my blog is fashionhauties.blogspot.com). That’s my life.

  • pushelildaisies December 15th, 2011 3:23 PM

    Naomi, I know exactly how you feel. It’s like Plato’s analogy of man coming out the cave for the first time – you see that the world has managed to get on without you, and you realize that you best get livin’, cos no one is going to force you.

    I live in a basement apartment, and the current December Canadian weather is depressing as fuck. Hopefully I can find a UV light or something, but for the meantime, I keep on chuggin’.

  • Harriet December 15th, 2011 5:34 PM

    Sorry Katherine, I watched it…. and I cried.